Today is the first day of my new contracting assignment.

I am so very completely outside of my comfort zones. All of them.

Somehow, I think that’s all part of His design.

Ok.

I trust you Lord. (But I’m keeping my eye on the rest of them!! LOL)

To Fresh Starts,
*~* MsJayy *~*

It really is the little things that matter most. In so many ways. In all relationships - romantic, career, school, etc.

Do you know what gets me about the “little things”?

How come what *seems* like a “little thing” to me (or to someone else) becomes a “MAJOR thing” for others?

I guess it’s the amount of effort required. Maybe it comes at too high a “price” for that person.
Or maybe it’s “major” because of the wiillingness (or lack thereof) of the other person to step outside of their comfort zone, to take a risk. To compromise.

Must be.

All I know is this:

LITTLE THINGS MATTER.

If enough “LITTLE THINGS” are ignored, they band together and become “BIG THINGS”. And generally they become big UGLY things.

Someone is having a “Little-converted-to-big-thing” moment right now and it is NOT pretty by any stretch of the imagination. I can’t feign sympathy. I can’t. I know myself well enough to know when I’m being clear…and to know that, when I’m NOT being clear, it’s by design.

In this case, I was clear. CRYSTAL. Constantly. Your failure to “hear” me is what’s causing you grief now. Don’t expect a sympathy card from me. As the song refrain goes, “Ya brought it on ya self. Ya brought it on ya self.”

Tend to the little things. That would be my advice.

Tomorrow is my last day on this contract assignment. As is my nature in a lot of cases, I gave in to a few moments of “am I making the right choice?”, “what if I’m wrong?”. Just a few moments. And then, confirmation showed up, in multiples, back to back.

I love the feel of peace against my soul. My mind. Better than silk or cashmere Baby. Trust and believe.

Immersing myself in the “little things”,
*~* MsJayy *~*

*~* QUOTABLE *~*

“What we call little things are merely the causes of great things; they are the beginning, the embryo, and it is the point of departure which, generally speaking, decides the whole future of an existence. One single black speck may be the beginning of a gangrene, of a storm, of a revolution.” - Henri Frederic Amiel

“Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things. I am tempted to think there are no little things.” - Bruce Barton

“Life is made up of small pleasures. Happiness is made up of those tiny successes. The big ones come too infrequently. And if you don’t collect all these tiny successes, the big ones don’t really mean anything.” - Norman Lear

You been to my blog before? If so, you know how much I cherish my family & friends. It takes some major stuff for me to walk away from anybody in my inner circle. And I do mean MAJOR. That is the kind of stuff that tears at my spirit - watching a small tear in the fabric of an inner circle friendship move from what can be repaired…to something that can’t be salvaged.

I don’t throw people away. Me calling you friend means something to me. It doesn’t come with a whole lot of unnecessary caveats - but things like respect, honesty, authenicity are non-negotiable. Cross the line and I’m heading for the bridge. Cross the line KNOWINGLY and not make a move to rectify the situation? I walk away quick enough to set the air on fire.

For a while now, I’ve been observing some things - some said, some done - none of them good. Things weren’t adding up but I’m big on giving folks the benefit of the doubt. But recently? I watched someone kneel knowingly at the base of the bridge crossing over to our friendship and strike a match. Not once looking back.

I’m standing on the other side, watching curiously. Others around me are amazed at how calm I am in the midst of all this cause this was some straight up, selfish, raggedy shyt. If I really wanted to be hateful, where this person lit a match, I could strike dynamite. It’s not worth it. And so, I’m watching. With a sense of finality, a sense of detached curiosity knowing that at some point in the near future, contact between us is mandatory. Knowing that me having to initiate it is simply a lesser form of dynamite.

And so, I watch. Patiently. Waiting to see what really comes through as the truth of character. See, if I’m your friend? If I’m your girl? You don’t put me in situations of any kind but particularly this brand of messiness. We be grown & so, what you do is on you BUT…never ever put me in a situation where my character can be called into question and NEVER, EVER let me find that your words come with a serious discount.

So for now, I’m sitting in the shade on the other side of this bridge, a lake of water near the base on my side. I’m watching the slow burn. Waiting to see if that pail of water at the base on the other side is going to be used to douse the fire…or if you’re going to simply let it burn.

I wait calmly, patiently…oddly at peace.

I guess it’s because I know these two things:

1. You don’t have to burn bridges - you can simply drive over them.

2. THIS bridge? This bridge needed repair. Maybe it was too weak to start with. Maybe it couldn’t be shored up, repaired. And maybe, just maybe…this bridge? This bridge has NEVER really crossed me over. Not in any way that mattered.

At the end of the day, your words and actions are how you’re truly known. If they don’t match, the picture folks have of you is distorted. Sometimes? My vision gets a bit blurred but today? I promise you - I can see clearly….

“London Bridge” ain’t the only one that’s falling down.

Keep on Living,
*~* MsJayy *~*