Ok. You can stop sending me links to the Wendy Williams show. You know - the episode with Omarosa as her guest.

LET.IT.GO.

SERIOUSLY.

I didn’t watch it. I’m not going to. The show doesn’t air in my area and if it did, I wouldn’t watch it. I’m not a fan of either of those ladies. Congrats to them on getting their hustle on and keep pressing. I’m not a fan of controversy for the sake of controversy (or publicity), on any scale. But hey, I’m busy doing me my way …and letting other folk do them their way.

Someone said Omarosa appeared on the show for “publicity”. Wow. Really? Of course she did. That’s the exact same reason she was invited to appear as a guest. I guess what gets me the most about this whole thing (beyond the fact that so many folk either watched the show, watched the clip online, or passed it around to others) is the fact that folks are seriously lining up in support of one of these ladies vs. the other.

* Sweet Jesus part the sky!! *

Why is anyone “surprised” as to how this episode played out? Based on what I’ve seen and/or heard of these two, what took place is their basic, every day MO - it appears to be how they operate. What were people expecting? Hearts and flowers? That they’d pull out their blackberries & plan a “Sistahood Spa Day” on the spot? Puhleeze.

Folks keep talking about how irritated they are that folks act this way and it’s a representation of ALL Black women.

Newsflash: AIN’T NONE OF THAT CRAP REPRESENTATIVE OF ME AS A BLACK WOMAN. Nor does it represent 99.5% of the women I’ve ever known. So don’t come at me with that ‘representation’ line. I’m not trying to hear that shiggidy and I’m not accepting anybody telling me that it is. Ugh! (’Scuse me…my teeth are itching. LOL)

And that whole “B*tch-Switch-Inner-B*itch-create-an-’empowering-acronynm-using-the-word-b*tch” thing? I don’t buy into that either. I think too many of us have fallen victim to that mentality, that whole “let’s flip the script, use the word in positive ways”. Um, no thanks.

I know I blogged about this before (in terms of “These Three Words: B*itch, Ho & the N-word”) but it bears repeating:

If you think I’m a strong woman, say that. Using those words.

If you think I’m intimidating, say that. Using those words.

If you think I’m aggressive, say that. Using those words.

If you think I’m being overly defensive, say that. Using those words.

See, what might happen if you chose to go against MY grain and use the “B-word” (whether you intend it as a compliment or otherwise)…a B*tch will probably meet you at the end of whatever sentence you’re forming.

Fo’ sho’.

So, um…what have we learned here today Boys & Girls?

1. Stop sending Ms.Jayy links to anything about Wendy Williams, Omarosa, and/or the B-word

2. Ms.Jayy (and millions of other women like her) are NOT represented by these ladies.

3. MsJayy ain’t knocking nobody’s hustle, she’s just clarifying her boundaries. Do you Boo! Full throttle!

4. Calling MsJayy a b*tch is pretty much guaranteed to push her past “teeth-itching” level and that ain’t good.

Keep living,
*~* MsJayy *~*

Last year, mayhem, foolishness & utter nonsense circulated like wildfire. This year, I’d like to declare a moratorium on some things. A permanent moratorium. Shall we review the list? Let’s!

* Stories about Brit-Brit…Ms. Brit.tany Sp.ears. Stories about Lin.dsey Lo.han. Pa.ris Hil.ton, etc.
Can we PLEASE turn the cameras off? Just turn them off. If the most “newsworthy” story you can find to report is that any of these folks were spotted rushing into Starbucks for coffee, driving drunk,…or anything else, you should be stripped of your news credentials. We know these young folk have made many a mess of their lives, and they continue to do so. Do we really have to watch it non-stop? Maybe if we turned the cameras off for a minute, they might get it.

* Pictures of Whit.ney Hou.ston’s teen-age daughter with all the “appropriate” “poor-child, let’s-pray-for-her”, etc. when that’s the farthest thing from their minds. Know what really gets me? I know at least four people who sent the pics my way and they really, really need to check their own kids. I’ve seen MUCH worse from their kids. As a matter of fact, let’s stop passing around ANY of those pics - you know, the ones with what folks consider jacked-up weddings, crazy prom pics, etc. Let’s just stop. Or at least be honest enough to say you’re passing them around cause you want folks to get their laugh on just like you did.

* That raggedy email supposedly written by a white woman to Sis.ter-2-Sis.ter mag re: why black men choose white women. How much energy do we need to give to nonsense? Folks choose who they choose for whatever reason. I say leave them to their choices, no matter what you may think of it.

* If you are NOT a registered voter (translation: you CAN register but you WON’T/DON’T), you are the last person who should email about the voting rights of African-Americans expiring. Why da hell do you care? Seriously. Don’t send that to me. You are making my teeth itch. Mightily.

* Ladies, for those of you calling men “DOGS”. Let it go. ‘Specially wif ya blanket statement about ALL men cause you don’t know ALL men. And apparently, based on the venom you’re displaying? You didn’t know the one you THOUGHT you knew. Let’s assume for a moment that the man in question IS a “dog”. Boo, you might wanna investigate your career choices. Him being a “dog” doesn’t relegate YOU to being the “dog catcher”. Stop going through life sprinkling out ya generic kibbles-n-bits.

* Ladies. Brothers. Please. Drop the ‘b’-word. You know the one. Sisters, it is NOT cute. It is NOT empowering. You think I’m a strong woman (or too strong)? Say that. Just like that. Cause swinging the B-word my way warrants what my friend’s grandmother calls a “repentance type of cussing”. For real.

* Rationalizing crazy. Can we just stop trying to do this? Crazy is just what it is. If you KNOW you dealing with a crazy situation, just deal with it. Stop trying to make it make sense to other folk. It ain’t gonna happen. AND guess what? In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? Yo’ brand of craziness doesn’t have to ‘work’ for anyone other than you. Confine & control. That’s what your game plan should be: confine & control. Let’s see if we can work that out.

* Looking around asking where “our” leaders are. Asking where is “this” generations MLK Jr, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Sojourner Truth, Madame CJ Walker, etc. Stand your butt in front of a mirror. If you don’t see none of that in YOU, we got a problem. AND…if you have no intentions of doing anything to further the cause, if you simply plan to sit and tell those doing the dayum thing why it isn’t going to work, stop asking about “this” generations leaders when you have no intention of following them even if they show up with clear documentation & ID. Ugh!

*Blame. Last year, there were lots of ’studies’ and newstories along the lines of “are your friends making you fat?” or “are you friends keeping you broke?”. Take responsibility for YOUR life. Take responsibility for the decisions YOU make (or don’t make). Hell, it’s YOUR life. Folk can’t “MAKE” you do/say/be anything. If something about your life isn’t working, CHANGE it.

* Before you tape your little one singing Bey.once’s entire catalog of songs, before they sing all the latest rap songs…teach them their name, their address and phone number. Make sure they know YOUR real name too.

*Stop dressing your child “sexy” when she’s 4 or 5 and then weeping and wailing when she turns up pregnant at 16. Stop telling her to ’shake whatcha Mama gave you” before she learns her ABC’s.

* Talking ’bout folk under the guise of “helping them”. It don’t matter how many “bless their hearts” you lace the conversation with, how many times you SAY you don’t mean any harm…youse a gossip. Stop it. Stop being so messy. Or at the very least, stop trying to act indignant when your words came back to bite you. Same way YOU talk, folk will talk ABOUT you.

*SPEAKING love but not DOING love. Not BEING love. Not SHOWING love. How long do you really think Love is gonna let you call it out of it’s name before you get tangled up in some ish that will clearly define for you what Love is NOT? I’m just saying….

* Living your life to please other people. Living your life according to someone else’s needs. This is about YOU. Recognize that and get on with the business of living YOUR life according to your needs, your purpose, your needs. Stop skating around the edges of your life - live from the very center of it regardless of what’s going on.

* “Wishing in one hand, spitting in the other”. In other words, what are you waiting for? Who are you waiting for? JUST DO IT! Live. Today. Stop wishing your life away. Just do it. DO something. No matter how small the steps may be, move. Build momentum from those small steps. It’s still progress. Stop waiting for the magical moment and create it, make it happen.

I’d say declare a moratorium on hating on other folks but perhaps that’s too optimistic even for a chocolatey pollyanna like myself. Besides, I see some value in having haters…you can sharpen your skills, your drive, your determination against the jagged edges of their words/actions. Polish your shine against their rough edges. Make it work for you.

So…that’s my quick list of things we need to bury, to let go of, to stop dragging around like a raggedy security blanket. What’s on YOUR list?