Finding myself awake at 12:30am, I tell myself to breathe. Slow. Repetitive. Deep breaths. Close my eyes. Will the stress, anxiety, pain and whatever else is robbing me of sleep to leave my body, limb by limb. Starting with my toes, working up to my head. I try to visualize it leaving my body until I’m left cuddled up with those cute little counting sheep from the commercial.

Nope. Not working.

Crap.

I’ve had enough of this. Really. Monday through Friday. Same thing. I find myself awake in the wee hours of the morning. WIDE AWAKE. This morning? I woke up at 12:30am. I’m not in any pain. No headache, no tummy ache. Not feeling tired. Not “feeling” stressed or anxious. But something is clearly amiss. Isn’t it? I mean, really - waking up weekdays between 12am-4am can NOT be normal. Can it?

Nevertheless, here I am. And so, I’ll try a brain-dump but be warned - at this time of morning and this little sleep, I can’t be held accountable for what comes up. Yep. That’s my disclaimer.

* Still haven’t seen “Good Hair”. Not sure I want to. I know I don’t “need” to but I’m a little curious. Just not sure I’m ‘full-movie-price’ curious (or even matinee price curious). For now, I say this: a movie was made about Black women and hair and there’s no footage of natural hair? So…are we all born with perms and weaves? I remember when talk of this movie first started and Chris Rock said he was doing it for his young daughter who asked why she didn’t have “good hair”. Sorry but if he’s not starting at natural hair AND including a bit of the politics re: standards of beauty in this country, he failed his daughter AND everyone else.

* I have an ex who people ask about from time to time. Decent guy but still, an ex. It never fails - whenever someone asks about him, I get a phone call. Someone asked about him Tuesday. Saturday? Phone call. Says what he always says after we muddle through the “how’s-your-family” stuff. That he’s different now, that he’s changed. He misses our friendship. Can we hang out? Translation: “Can we give this another try? My plea for “friendship” is simply a form of “layaway” for the relationship I really want us to have.” *sigh* I say none of that from a place of vanity or ego but a place of fact. Ask him and he’ll admit it. Why he can’t simply START there is beyond me. My answer will be the same (NO. Thanks. But seriously…NO) but I would appreciate the lack of subterfuge. He may be right - that he’s different. So am I and my different definitely doesn’t fit him. Press on Brother. Be blessed but Sweetie, be gone.

* Read a quote recently to the effect of women who are truthful create room for more truth around them. When I first read it (the actual quote cause what I just typed is lacking something), I thought, “Wow. That’s powerful.” But now…I’m thinking, “OK. And what about men who speak truth?” Seriously.Is the person saying men DON’T speak truth or that if/when they do, nothing happens? Or um…am I just in too deep (in terms of everything but sleep? LOL)

* It’s a shame that, waking up as early as I do, I still find myself rushing to get to work on time. Sad. But true. (Did I create more space for truth with that statement? *sigh* Ok maybe that is a sign that sleep is trying to woo me)

* “Balloon Boy” - ok, normally, I would simply let this non-story pass but it is 4am and if anything needs to be dumped from my brain, this non-story would be it. So riddle me this: how exactly was this little plot going to lead to a TV show? About what?

* The Louisiana judge/justice of the peace who wouldn’t issue a marriage license for an interracial couple. Wow. It IS legal for interracial couples to marry in Lousiana right? Who cares about dude’s personal feelings? Hell, issue the license and skip their gift registry.

* Got a new cellphone. In the process of trying to get used to it, I accidentally dialed and hung up on my mom and BOTH my sisters last night. Yes, I said “accidentally”. No I didnt stutter. Keep it moving people, keep it moving.

* Can’t remember what’s on my calendar for work today. Hoping it’s light. Probably light-ish since I found a few problems with system changes I tested before leaving work Friday.

* Does anybody know where I can get a “weekend reset button”? You know - if you press the button before 7pm on Sunday, the weekend rolls back to Friday evening and you start again? I need another day. Just one. Please and thanks.

* Last week, I attended a function at my old job. You remember, the almost 20 years job? The function? Inducting 20yr employees into the “Cornerstone Club”. Ironic, huh? LOL Especially since I was 5 months shy of MY 20th yr anniversary. Nevertheless, I had a BALL. Got to see lots of folks I don’t run into these days. And even a few people who didn’t know I no longer worked there - they thought they didn’t see me because I was either working in another building or working from home. LOL

* I was supposed to shop for airfare this weekend. I’m a slug. And yet, this needs to happen. Soon. The shopping for airfare. The solidifying of schedules. The booking of a flight. The packing of suitcase…and butterflies. *blush* Annnnddddd…..the magical equilibrium-restoring, soul-nourishing hug that awaits. LOL (I need a nap. Clearly. BUT…I do believe the equilibrium-restoring, soul-nourishing part hug. And the packing of butterflies (I will wrap those lines into a poem. Soon) Re: the hug, no pressure. Just speaking truth. Making room for more & whatnot)

And just like that…I find myself sleepy. All it took was me clearing out some emails, cutting out Sunday’s coupons, cleaning out my “briefcase”, cleaning the bathroom, watching “Life After” (2 episodes), a few glances at Twitter, the watching of late night reruns of CSI leading to ABC News and “suddenly”?

I’m sleepy.

LOL

Alarm will go off in less than an hour.

Seriously, I need to do better. (#sixwordstories)

Good night/morning!

*~* MsJayye *~*

Oh yeah - I’m really starting to dislike this font size. Has it always been this small? I really need to get on top of the site redesign. Forthwith!

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Ok. Dem “P-to-da-E-to-da-T-to-da-A” ta folks is ALL DA WAY LIVE ya hear me?

Seriously?

“…swatting a fly on TV indicates he’s not perfect”, Friedrich said.

Yep, that’s a direct quote from the article. Ha! All I can do is shake my head and laugh.

The POTUS & the Fly

(I know - I haven’t posted in a minute and then when I do, it’s about flies and what not. LOL I’m working on it. Much going on & I’m trying to get back to my ‘normal’ post/schedules. I’ll get there. SOON. For real. Why you laughing? I’m serious.)

Enjoy your day!
*~* MsJayye *~*

The Keystone Cops were known for bumbling everything related to policework. EVERY.THING.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say I’ve stumbled on to the 2008 version of “The Keystone Cops”…only they’ve switched industries, branched out so to speak.

Still messing stuff up. Royally.

Personally? I fail to find the humor. And I refuse to play their “straight man”.

These folks truly make my teeth itch. I promise you that.

Ha. And I used to think a certain cable company was my “Keystone Cops”. Ahhhh, but they have been replaced. LOL

I’ve been told that I scared the little rep I spoke with last week. *shrug*

You tell me: you have services that are supposed to start on 10/1. You call in September to ask what’s up. They respond. AFTER 10/1. THEN try to tell you they have to take ‘extra steps’ and do things ‘manually’ because YOU didn’t meet the deadline. AND get this, YOU will need to pay for the month you should have had services but didn’t because if they change your start date to 11/1 THEY have to pay a fine.

All I said was, “Wake me up when you get to the part that you think has meaning to me. You know, that part where I’m actually liable to take action. The reality of the situation. You know.”

Chile please.

I am NOT the one.

And trust me when I tell you that TODAY? TODAY is NOT the day.

:::: going off to sip some pineapple ginger tea and let some smooth jazz wash over me::::