Let me just state for the record that this is SO not the post I had in mind but….something about this song stops me every time I hear it. Musiq is pretty much hit-or-miss with me; I like a few cuts on each of his CDs but rarely have I loved the entire CD. This song? LAWDHAMMERCY. To say the message in the music touched a nerve is putting it mildly. I’m not sure if it’s because it’s coming from a Black man, or because it’s coming from a man in general, or if it’s just the fact that SOMEBODY is saying it. I’ve had that song on replay for a while now, just letting it wash over me…leaving little poetic goodies in its wake. (They’re not in a “shareable” state just yet…)

Part of me hears the lyrics and wonders, can we teach another person how to love? If it’s true that we teach people how to treat us, does that automatically translate to them being able to love you? Or is it simply a case of teaching them to treat you the way you want to be treated (not to make that a bad thing)? I hear this song and I also wonder if, when we ask someone to “teach me how to love” are we not in part asking them to show us that we ourselves are worthy of being loved?

I’m not sure about the first question - if you’re really TEACHING them to love you or just to be “courteous” and “respectful”. Gonna need to ponder that for a minute. The second point? I definitely think we’re asking the other person to show us that we’re worthy of love. Yes, you should come into the relationship with a good sense of who you are and a healthy dose of self-love. I also think that having someone show you that they love you and that you matter through their actions, their words, their attention can inspire you to a deeper love of both yourself and the other person. And who wouldn’t to sign up for that??

Musiq goes deep in that song - talking about the things he’s never seen people do, never been taught. I’m sure that rings true for a lot of people, myself included. It’s scary to stand before someone and say “I don’t know how to do this. I want to get it right but I need you to help me.” But you know what? You can’t be healed or helped if you don’t open up to someone. No one can SAVE you but someone else can help you heal the wounds to your heart and spirit. BUT it starts with you being ready to go there. It’s not for the faint of heart. Having stood on the edge of that very place, I can tell you it is scary – but definitely worth it if you just step into it with your whole heart.

For me, this song also speaks about finding a heart that understands you, someone who makes you feel so safe that you strip down emotionally and unashamed in front of them, someone who gets you - truly gets you - even when you DON’T want to be gotten, no matter how much stuff you bring to the table. Especially then. Someone who basically sees through that stuff and they’re still standing by you, waiting for you to realize what they realize: they aren’t going anywhere and that you’re worth it. I’m learning that the whole “emotionally nudity” thing is tricky, a double-edged sword so to speak. People say they want it but just like you being “physically” naked, it isn’t for everybody and not everyone will appreciate seeing you in the buff.

I think back to certain relationships (they shall remain anonymous cause um…they just shall a’ight?). Relationships that I *thought* had a degree of longevity…or the potential for longevity. When they ended, yes I thought the world had ended with them, that I had just curled up inside myself and died. But once I got to the other side of that pain, I had such an epiphany (yep, another “Beautiful Epiphany”). What was this new epiphany you ask?

It’s a two-part epiphany – a rich thought too. Part I: A relationship should minister to your spirit – on all levels. I’ve been blessed enough to have relationships that did exactly that, even if I didn’t realize it in the moment.

The deeper epiphany (Part II) is this: not everyone who ministers to your spirit is meant for a lifetime. “Traveling ministries”. Remember that. That epiphany is more difficult to deal with at times, especially when you have “forever” on your mind and are trying to will it into the relationship. What I realize now about those relationships, the “traveling ministries” is that they’re a lot like Revival – it’s an awakening of sorts, a deeper level of awareness. I think about these relationships, the “Revivals”, and remember that I “felt” broken (and probably would have said I was when I was in the midst of it) when in actuality, what we shared purified me in many ways. It unearthed issues, wounds that I thought I’d dealt with or that I didn’t even know existed. Having them placed plainly before me forced me to deal with them. Hiding was no longer an option.

I know, I’m all over the place so coherency will be a hidden blessing. This song just shakes some things loose for me, helps me connect the dots in other places. Isn’t that what “Revival” is about?

Live DELICIOUSLY!
~ J ~

Live DELICIOUSLY!
~J~