Missed me?

Maybe you did. Maybe you didn’t. And yes, it DOES matter. To a degree. But more importantly, I miss me. The “me” that somehow shows up in this space open, vulnerable, truthful, optimistic, ready to love and be loved, growing, evolving…the “me” I tend to keep hidden from myself. The “me” of me.

I tell myself that my blogging mojo has weakened. And maybe it has to some degree. It’s a theme that’s not foreign among bloggers. And while it may right true for me in some ways, there’s something else (or some THINGS) at play though I don’t seem able to name them at the moment.

I believe part of it has to do with itchy people. You know, those people who brush up against your life, against your spirit, and leave you itchy like rough fabrics. Generally you can wash the clothing and remove the itchiness but I’ve yet to see a washer - even industrial sized - big enough to hold itchy people. Now, don’t get it twisted - itchy people aren’t a new phenomena to me or anyone else. It’s just that, depending on where you are in life and what you’re going through, they can affect you negatively. I’ve had them slow me down before but they have yet to stop me. They can’t. I know this.

So…why am I stuck in terms of blogging or writing in general? The “itchies” have NEVER impacted my ability to write. EVER. And so, I know there’s something else at work. I tell myself I’ll recover that blogging/writing feeling after my sites are redesigned. But more importantly, I know that what’s keeping my fingers from caressing the keys as I capture the poetic images that flood my mind is me. Me resisting the emergence of the woman I keep hidden even from myself. She wants me to tell the story, to let the light hit it, to let the breeze ruffle the hem of her tattered dress. She wants me to be brave, to be open. To be naked. And sometimes, I hate her for that. LOL

And so, I hide her behind 140 characters on twitter. (Hi, my name is MsJayye & I’m a twitterholic. Don’t even THINK about an intervention - it ain’t gonna happen.) I try to hide her but she is there. Filling the space of each and every tweet I send. I see her. I feel her. And she gives me that space in which to coach myself out loud but still hidden. The grace to coax myself out of myself at my own pace. Maybe I don’t hate her. I’m intrigued by her, fascinated…beguiled. I envy her and want to study her sense of freedom, her ease in being. I yearn to replicate it from a place where she and I have merged, our beings fused as they should be. She gives me patience - this woman I keep hidden from myself. She gives me tenderness, acceptance, understanding. And love. Lots of love.Unwavering.Unconditional.Love.

And in exchange? I will give birth to the naked truth of us. In time.

But today? Today I string together a series of “six word stories” that interrupted me yesterday and revealed themselves to the “Twitterverse”. Who know a wordy chick like me could find a whole other level of being - first within 140 characters and then within six words?

Enjoy these morsels of my poetic buffet!

Enjoy your weekend! Find ways to noursish yourself - mind, body & soul! You deserve it.

SoulFULLY,
*~* MsJayye *~*

Last night was….nothing…short…of….A-MAZ-ZING. (Yes, with TWO Z’s!)

If I close my eyes…just so….I can still see it, feel it…experience it. A-MAZ-ZING. (YES, TWO Z’s!!)

It still takes my breath away. *sigh*

I managed to tame the “jungle” also known as the desk in my home office.

Whoo-hoo! Go me!

Cleared it off. Stacked my “currently working on” items under my elephant paperweight. Lit a candle. Stirred up my diffuser and its ocean-scented reeds. Kicked back and enjoyed the view. LOL

I really like my desk although it could use a shelf or two…for convenience. Actually, they have a version that has built in shelve but I can’t justify that purchase - there’s nothing “wrong” with the one I have. And that is the ONLY reason for a replacement at this point. So, I’ll continue with my plans to have additional shelving added to the closet. That’s probably a better idea because it will keep “stuff” off the desk itself.

I am considering a wireless keyboard and mouse. Heck, I need to figure out my whole wireless network situation to be honest. I need to be MO-BILE. None of this being shackled to the spot. Oh no. That just won’t do. Let’s see if I can make all that happen before the end of May…it’s important to me but not important enough to trump some other tasks on the To-Do list.

Anywho, I am loving the fact that my desk is clean and organized. Next up in my office? Reinventing my bulletin board. All I need is some chocolate fabric, some cowrie shells, two small nails and some glue. Ah yes, another weekend project.

Clean desk might seem like a small victory to some and maybe it is but I gotta tell ya, from where I’m standing? It’s still SWEET.

Besides in the ‘war on clutter’, the battle to reclaim your space & your peace? There is no such thing as a “small” victory.

Breathing easy,
*~* MsJayye *~*

…still a li’l salty that a certain online photo thingy wouldn’t let me size the pic I wanted to include with this post….

*~* QUOTABLE *~*

“Don’t agonize - ORGANIZE.” ~ Florynce Kennedy

“When there is too much, something is missing.” ~ Hasidic Saying