I’ve recycled this poem a couple of times. It was originally born in support of a dear friend who suffered an unimaginable loss. Before I could share it with her, I misplaced it and sought to recreate it from memory. What you read here, this final piece, in the days following the horrific shootings at Virgina Tech.

Haiti deserves a fresh poem. A gift that belongs to Haiti alone. And it will come. But…for now, I find it hard to string words together that will convey my feelings. No, I’m not Haitian. But I am human. And my heart is heavy for Haiti. Make no mistake about it - while my heart is heavy, it does not wrap itself in pity.

After all, if the history of Haiti has taught us nothing else, it will forever leave us with a hymn of strength, resilience…a psalm of praise for the overcomers. We mustn’t forget - it was Haiti who first said NO to slavery. And while the world exacted an economic price for that bold decision, Haiti will forever remain free in a way that the rest of the world will never understand.

Who could pity that?

Life changes, moment to moment. Nothing remains the same. Each and every moment brings with it a change, a revision to what we think of as “normal”. An everyday occurrence that we take no notice of – after all, it’s “normal”. Sometimes, events come together, ripping the very fabric of “normal” such that it ends up looking like a patchwork quilt. And so it is this week. There is a hole in the fabric…but not in our soul. We cry, hold onto to each other, sift through our memories as we wade through the hurt, reminding ourselves that beauty lies on the other side of the pain that has come into our midst, uninvited.

When hope stutters. We have to reach deep inside ourselves – give thanks for the foundation that holds us up even in the midst of such a tragedy. We hold our family/friends tighter, vow to call or visit more often, volunteer more often, offer random acts of kindness to those we pass every day because…moment to moment, we do not know. And so, we promise to live better, love deeper, be present, pay attention, build the dream.

When hope stutters. We remind ourselves that pain is real. And we must remind ourselves that so is healing.

The Haiti you see on the news today is not the Haiti of tomorrow. Rest your understanding and healing on that. Let that become the bass line accompanying your grief.

Haitians are resilent, beautiful people with a rich, deep history.

Trust and believe…Haiti will reteach the world the story of its loveliness.

As Haiti works to restore itself, to reach for a new and higher glory, I urge you to not only GET involved but to STAY involved. Not only in Haiti but in issues that may be closer to home for you. Tutor a child. Teach an adult to read. Donate food to local foodbanks. Do what you can where you can and know that nothing you do or give from a sincere heart is EVER too small.

Walk in Love,
*~* MsJayye *~*

I pray each of you as peaceful a Friday as your heart can stand.
~ J ~

** Yes - it is almost time to flip the page on the calendar and land on the bright, shiny new landscape of February. HOWEVER, there is still time in January to have a check-up. Or take it over into February. Bottom line: “Just do it!”. Let’s love ourselves in 2010 and beyond to take care of ourselves mentally, physically, financially, spiritually, etc. You can’t be at your best or give your best to others if you do not first give that to yourself. You are worth it. **

January is National Cervical Cancer Awareness Month: Women’s Health Advocates Urge Women to ‘Take the Pearl Pledge’ to Protect Themselves and Other Women From Cervical Cancer

UPPER MARLBORO, Md., Jan. 6 /PRNewswire/ — The Pearl of Wisdom Campaign to Prevent Cervical Cancer wants women to protect themselves - and their mothers, daughters, sisters and friends - from this preventable disease. Thus, in honor of National Cervical Cancer Awareness Month in January, this coalition of leading women’s health advocates today launched its “Take the Pearl Pledge” initiative, which asks women to: schedule their annual gynecologic examination, wear a Pearl of Wisdom in support of cervical cancer prevention, and encourage 5 friends to do the same. The campaign aims to secure 4,070 pledges - the same number of U.S. women who were projected to die of cervical cancer in 2009 - by Mother’s Day (May 9, 2010). Women can participate in the “Take the Pearl Pledge” effort at www.PearlofWisdom.us/Pledge.

“Cervical cancer is the second leading cancer in women worldwide. This year in the United States, more than 11,000 women will be diagnosed with cervical cancer and more than 4,000 women will die of this disease,” said Tamika Felder, cervical cancer survivor and founder of the nonprofit organization, Tamika and Friends (), the lead U.S. partner in the Pearl of Wisdom campaign. “Cervical cancer, however, is almost always preventable - with the Pap test, the HPV test and the HPV vaccine. We want women to know this, to ask for the prevention tools that are appropriate for them, and to help us get the word out to other women by wearing their pearl and starting the conversation.”

Following, according to the Pearl of Wisdom campaign, is what every woman should know:

* Girls and young women: Ask your healthcare provider about the HPV vaccine, which protects against the two types of HPV (human papillomavirus) that cause the majority of cervical cancers. The vaccines are recommended for girls 11 to 12 years old, and are approved for girls and young women up to age 26. Even women who have been vaccinated will still need to be screened.

* Women age 21 or older: Get the Pap test, which detects abnormal cells that can lead to cervical cancer.

* Women age 30 or older: Get the Pap test and the HPV test together as part of routine cervical cancer screening. The HPV test detects the virus that causes cervical cancer, identifying those women at increased risk who will need to be monitored more closely.

“Unlike other cancers, cervical cancer is almost always preventable because we know what causes it - HPV infection - and we have the tools available to prevent this cancer,” said Susan Wysocki, WHNP-BC, FAANP, president and CEO of the National Association of Nurse Practitioners in Women’s Health (), a partner in the Pearl of Wisdom campaign. “With proper screening and vaccination, no woman should lose her fertility to or die of this disease.”

For the “Take the Pearl Pledge” initiative, women can purchase a Pearl of Wisdom, the global symbol for cervical cancer prevention, at . All proceeds go to the U.S. Pearl of Wisdom Campaign Fund, which supports U.S.-based cervical cancer prevention activities. Women can also wear their own pearl to participate.

Pearl of Wisdom campaign partners are also sharing information about cervical cancer prevention and the “Take the Pearl Pledge” with their members. National campaign partners include American Association of University Women, American Medical Women’s Association, the American Social Health Association, the Asian Pacific American Labor Alliance, the Association of Reproductive Health Professionals, the Balm In Gilead, Black Women’s Health Imperative, the Coalition of Labor Union Women, the Global Summit of Women, Gynecologic Cancer Foundation, HealthyWomen, the Hicks Foundation, the National Association of Nurse Practitioners in Women’s Health, the National Council of Women’s Organizations, the National Family Planning and Reproductive Health Association, Planned Parenthood Federation of America, the Society for Women’s Health Research, Tamika and Friends, Women In Government, the Yellow Umbrella Organization, and others.

About Cervical Cancer

Cervical cancer is the second most common cancer in women worldwide. In the U.S., the American Cancer Society estimated that in 2009, 11,270 women would be diagnosed with cervical cancer and 4,070 women would die of the disease. Cervical cancer is caused by persistent infections with high-risk types of the human papillomavirus (HPV). HPV is a very common sexually transmitted infection that 3 of 4 adults will have at some time in their lives. Most of these infections go away on their own without treatment. Infections that do not go away on their own can lead to cervical cancer.

A Pap test is the traditional method used for cervical cancer screening. An HPV test identifies women who are infected with high-risk types of HPV that could potentially lead to cervical cancer. Clinical studies suggest that screening with both a Pap test and an HPV test offers women aged 30 and older the best protection against cervical cancer. HPV vaccines, recommended for 11- to 12-year-old girls and approved for young women up to age 26, have been shown to be highly effective at preventing infection with the two most common types of HPV that cause approximately 70% of all cervical cancers. HPV vaccination does not protect against all the HPV types that can cause cervical cancer; thus, women who have been vaccinated still need to be screened.

About the Pearl of Wisdom Campaign to Prevent Cervical Cancer

The Pearl of Wisdom Campaign to Prevent Cervical Cancer is a united, global effort to raise awareness of the opportunities now available to prevent cervical cancer. The campaign increases awareness of the new means of preventing cervical cancer, encourages women to take full advantage of these methods, and advocates for the implementation of these tools for girls and women everywhere. The campaign promotes the Pearl of Wisdom as the global symbol for cervical cancer prevention. All profits from purchases of the Pearl of Wisdom go to the U.S. Pearl of Wisdom Campaign Fund to support cervical cancer prevention activities. The Pearl of Wisdom campaign was launched in the U.S. in 2009, where it is led by the national nonprofit organization, Tamika and Friends, Inc., and includes more than 20 national partner organizations. The campaign is supported by an unrestricted educational grant from QIAGEN, Inc.

SOURCE Tamika and Friends, Inc.

RELATED LINKS

**This is a modified post from last year around this time. Nothing would have made me happier than to no there was no longer a need for this post or any others like it. One day. I pray. Be sure to check out my girl Princess Dominique’s post on Domestic Violence. Click here **

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. So many people suffer at the hands of an abuser, keeping silent, hiding inside themselves.

It is a disgrace to the word “LOVE” to physically or mentally abuse someone – all in the name of love.

Last week in one of my writing groups, we played around with limericks. Here’s one that I shared with them:

For the record, it’s my left leg.

One incident. ONE. And I was out.

You may read this and think, “Mmph, she calls THAT domestic violence? She ain’t got a clue.” I call it domestic violence because it was. Measure it against whatever you want to. It changes nothing.

A “trick knee” is a small price to pay given how badly the situation could have turned out. There’s more to the story. No one has ever heard it though. EVER. Actually, no one has ever known how my ‘trick’ knee came to be. Until now. So, for those of you who know who I know, it’s okay that they DON’T know the story. If they stumble across this blog post ON THEIR OWN, it’s all good. ‘K? Thanks.

Domestic violence is deceptive. It will have you believing that you made someone else beat you, curse you, treat you badly all the while professing to love you. It will have you believing that no one else will want you, that you can’t do anything on your own, that you won’t make it without that person. And if you have kids, the stakes are higher – do you stay to keep the “family” together? Do you subject your kids to that?

A friend of mine ended an abusive marriage last year. When her husband became abusive towards the oldest son, trying to get him to disrespect her as well, she decided enough was enough. Leaving was ugly. But she did it. She left. And she left the church that “encouraged” her to stay, to be more docile, to “stop pushing his buttons”, that cautioned her against leaving since he was the breadwinner. (Sidebar: I’m not condemning the “church” as a whole. But I have no respect for people in positions to help others who counsel them to stay in situations that could be physically harmful to them when viable options exist. They never once spoke to her about other options. NEVER. So, I’m condemning the folks in THAT church who were counting this couple’s tithes instead of saving their souls and HER life.)

Years ago, I visited a friend who’d volunteered to keep a mutual friend’s son on a Friday night. Mutual friend dropped him off while I was there. As she was leaving, this little boy said to his mother, “Mama don’t let him mess with you. ‘K? Mama, you hear me?” He was 4 years old….4. Cautioning his grown mother not to let some man hurt her. She was supposed to pick him up Saturday but asked if he could stay until Sunday.This kid cried himself to sleep. When his mom came to get him the next day, he ran towards her then stopped and asked her in this tiny voice, “Can I hug you?” She said “Not today” so he held her hand. The whole time she was trying to snow us about her weekend, this kid sat holding her hand. I didn’t see her for years after that. She married her abuser. Had two more kids with him. The last time I saw her was at her funeral.

Domestic violence is a horrible, horrible thing. It can scar you – physically, mentally, emotionally. We say “I don’t know why they stay.”, “Why doesn’t she/he just leave?” or the infamous, “I don’t understand.” I used to say those things. Now when I’m tempted to say “I don’t understand”, I catch myself.

I don’t NEED to understand. I just need to be supportive when and where I can. Sometimes that means distancing myself from people who can’t find the strength, courage and/or wisdom to let go of the pain and the abuser. If you choose to stay, don’t ask me to watch.

I pray that the stigma of domestic violence disappears so people realize they don’t have to suffer in silence, that they have options. That they’re worth more than that. I pray that we teach our kids that love doesn’t hurt - not like that. That love doesn’t hit. And not only that we TELL them these things, but that we SHOW them through our actions. That we model right relationships, HEALTHY relationships for them. I pray that people learn to discern between behavior labeled as “cute” and warning signs of possible abusive tendencies.

More importantly, I pray that those places that are supposed to be safe, where people are supposed to be able to go if and when they need help, truly become the sanctuary for hurting people that they were intended to be and not breeding grounds for silence. And more abuse.