My manager has a bucket full of training dollars for next year so she invited the team to think about what classes/workshops we might be interested in moving forward. For the first time in a very long time…I have nary a clue. Still trying to figure out the lay of the land so to speak and where I am in location to where I want to be. But…I’ve got time to really think it through so we’ll see.

“Baby? We need to talk.” A woman in Hartford took “We need to talk” to a whole OTHER level. She handcuffed herself to her husband while he was sleeping. I’ve been told that she changed the locks on the bedroom door beforehand. Wow. Baby We Need to Talk

Overheard this conversation last week: Guy A seeks employment; Guy B scouted out an opportunity for him and was relaying the details and ask when he wants to start. Guy A says, “I can’t start right now. I need to get some rest.” Guy B is confuzzled (and rightly so - turns out Guy A hasn’t worked in quite some time, he’s practically homeless and ’bout to turn down a legitimate job). Guy A says (quite seriously), “Naw Mahn…you can’t start no job until you have some rest and a sense of peace.” Yeah…who needs a steady paycheck and rent money? *smdh*

I saw a 3yr old in the grocery store last week with his pants bagging & sagging. Unbelievable.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran into a guy that I went out with a few times last year. During the course of our little ChitChat, he told me that I “date like a guy”. Wow. And I didn’t even have to read Steve Harvey’s book to get there. Ha! (More about THAT fascinating interlude in another post)

It’s SPRING!! Yea!! (Still chilly but nevertheless, it’s Spring!)

I’m going to see my babies this weekend. I miss those little munchkins. Gotta think of something fun to do with them…maybe some Easter crafts and/or baking.

Me and my “9 Things”. *sigh* I am definitely on point for the end of the month in terms of the number of items I’ve donated or tossed. Gotta ‘nother stash to drop off next weekend. I know the guys at the donation center can’t WAIT to see me pull up. LOL

Had a most delicious e-versation with a friend yesterday. *sigh* I do love mental stimulation.

Talent line-up was announced for this year’s Capital Jazz Fest. And you know what? I don’t know if I’m going. Not overly excited by the lineup but not bummed either. We’ll see.

I read a headline somewhere a couple of weeks ago that alluded to the fact that as long as hip-hop was alive, we would have more Ch.ris Bro.wn/Ri.hanna situations. *SIGH* Yeah. Cause domest*c vio.lence didn’t start until hip-hop was born. (Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know…the imagery of black women in hip-hop is off-skew but seriously…can we truly blame this behavior on hip-hop? Or any other musical genre? A contributing factor? Maybe but to place the blame at the base of the hip-hop microphone truly oversimplifies the issue and moves us away from deeper conversations about the issue itself)

I also read an article where the Future Farmers of America (I think) are up in arms about the First Lady’s plans to plant a garden at the White House. It is funny. They’re going on about child labor laws like somebody is really gonna have kids skipping school all day to plant tomatos and green beans. Chile please.

“Chin Checked”. Was that a “chin check” last night during the President’s address? In response the CNN guy’s question about why President Obama waited so long to address the A.I.G. situation? I didn’t take it as such but apparently a whole lotta folks did ’cause they have been clowning Dude ALL.DAY. Wow….

I’ve been soda-free for almost a month now. Except for those weekend cravings, it’s been smooth sailing. Guess the weekends were generally when I indulged. *shrug*

Been fast-food free for almost a month too. Not a biggie since I didn’t indulge much but…removing the option definitely made me plan better.

My weekend eating habits are ATROCIOUS. Seriously. My doctor would pass O-U-T if he had to bear witness. I give a whole new meaning to “undereating”. And you know that does NOT go well with trying to manage my blood sugar. I know - I’m on it. For real.

Stopped to get some coffee this AM and a guy in line told me I had a very nice smile. So…I smiled and said, “Thank you, that’s a nice way to start the day”. His response, “And an even nicer voice” which made me smiler wider cause…it reminded me of someone else. *sigh*

Off to wolf down my lunch before my 4-hour training session. Fun times people. Fun times!

Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential.”

~ John Maxwell ~

Just a little food for thought…hope it sticks to ya mind.

Happy “Nibbling”!
*~* MsJayye *~*

As 2008 ended, I started this series of posts about improving my health. 2008 was all about getting my money straight and I did that – in a big way. So, standing on the threshold of 2009, I decided to take that same “money” mindset and apply it to my health.

“Financially speaking”, I took a long look at “what was” – the current state of my finances as of 1/1/2008…pulled credit reports/scores, determined who I owed, how much, pay off dates, interest rates, savings, investments, upcoming expenses (home repairs, auto repairs, vacation, etc), where I was spending too much, etc. A detailed “financial snapshot”.

I set SPECIFIC goals for 2008 – what I wanted to pay off & when, savings goal for 2008, etc. I broke all of that down by quarters and then by months. I experimented with different methods of tracking my progress until I found a combination that worked for me. And I stayed on top of it. The end results were well worth the effort – the planning, restructuring of plans, the tough decisions (saying “no” to those gold sandals was NOT easy…at all! LOL). There were times when I slipped but rather than beating myself up or giving up, I stepped back, reviewed the plan and made adjustments. I never changed the goal. I NEVER CHANGED THE GOAL. It wasn’t always easy but it definitely was worth it. ALWAYS.

That’s the mindset I decided to transfer to improving my health. Why not? I deserve it. After all, “HEALTH IS THE FIRST WEALTH”. And then…I crashed and burned. A little bit. Instead of breaking old habits and creating new ones, I let myself be lulled back into the “same old same old” by everyday distractions. Thankfully, I’m at a place in my life where I know that “SOSO” doesn’t work for me and so, I went back to planning mode.

I thought about one of the tenets of personal finance and realized that is so very applicable to my health:

PAY YOURSELF FIRST.

That has become one of the mantras for improving my health. What does that mean to me?

* I make myself a priority. I’m at the top of my own To-Do list EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. Without apology, explanation, or second thought. It simply is. (I would say “It is what it is” but if you know me personally, you know how & why that phrase makes my teeth itch. And…you know her name. LOL) No more “penciling myself in”. (Sidenote: if you go through life penciling YOURSELF in, others will follow suit. Remember – YOU teach people how to treat you.)

* I make healthier food choices. Less fried foods. Less sugar. No sodas. More veggies. The key for me is not only making healthier choices but pushing myself to eat 4-6 small “meals” daily.

* I put my workouts on my calendar. There is no such thing for me as “finding” time – I make the time, INTENTIONALLY. I’m a morning person so AM workouts win hands down. Plus, very few things just “come up” at 5am; can’t say the same is true for 5pm. And as I deal with bouts of “fibro fog”, I find those AM workouts help clear my mind for the workday. AND I start the day with more energy. On days when I don’t make it to the gym, I try to get in more movement during the day and/or workout at home.

* I get the right amount of rest for me. This was another area that I had to play around with before finding what works for me. Sleeping 8 hours is ok but I feel a little groggy afterwards and it takes me longer to get geared up so generally between 6-7 hours of sleep is my “sweet spot”.

* I use the power of “NO” - I don’t obligate myself to do things because others “expect” me to. I’ve become very protective of my time and energy and refuse to take on the world. I can’t be everything to everybody. Don’t need to be nor do I want to be. And I don’t apologize or explain that either. I’m still helpful but within reason. No more automatically giving up things I want to do or need to do for self for the sake of others. No my loves, when it comes to my schedule and my health, you will have to “get in where you fit in”.

* I clear space in my day to reconnect with Spirit, to just sit in peace, doing nothing…just “being”. We’re always rushing, running, doing. We don’t always give ourselves time to just relax and unwind until life tosses us a few curves that force our hand. I don’t jump up in the morning starting my day in a rush. No more “eyes-open-automatically-scrolling-through-the-mental-to-do list”. I ease into my day, giving myself a few minutes to just be still, to just breathe and then I turn my thoughts to the kind of day I want to have followed by what I need to do to make that day manifest. I work towards that day steadily, adjusting my focus & energy as needed. I pause throughout the work day to just stop and breathe, maybe take a quick walk or utter a quick prayer. When I get home, I take 5-10 minutes to decompress before I tackle whatever needs to happen. Before bed, I give myself 15-30 minutes to strip away the remnants of the day. That might mean journaling, meditating/praying, listening to some calming music, a bubble bath, etc.

* I prepare for the next day the night before. I pack my breakfast, lunch and gym bag. That removes the morning rush. To streamline the gym process, when I buy personal care items (lotion, body wash, moisturizer, etc), I buy two of each so I don’t have to transfer things from my bathroom counter to my workout bag. Less chance of getting to the gym and realizing you forgot something. When I get up on “gym day”, I grab a bottle of water & a breakfast bar, snatch up my gym bag/clothes and I’m on my way. Sans rushing.

There are lots of “little” things that we can do every day that will help move us towards better health on all levels. It doesn’t have to be an all or nothing deal, especially if you know that’s not who you really are. There’s no shame in starting small. There might be in not starting at all. *shrug*

Here’s to YOUR health!
*~* MsJayye *~*

I…I’m not sure what….who…um….

Sweet Jesus part the sky.

Who is responsible for this brand of fooliwog? Or as a burn-out English singer would say, “this f-ery”.

I thought seeing the 4yr old little boy in the store with his pants sagging was the end but this?

Oh, guess I could show you the “what” huh so you can judge for yourself.

You ready?

You sure?

Ok….but I’m telling you - it is as Clair Huxtable would say, “Sad, pitiful AND pathetic!”.

Introducing…..

BABY WIGS

Baby Wigs: Luxury or Ludicrous

Jesus be a fence…a case of Dr. Miracle and some Do Grow.

Parents, Aunties, Godmothers, Big Mamas, all those in the village….

please…

I implore you -

JUST SAY NO!!

This warrants a PSA don’t cha think?

*~* CLEAR YOUR CLUTTER, CLEAR YOUR MIND *~*

Dear Friend,

Next week, as spring rolls in, I’d like to share this reminder of the power of clearing your clutter. Clutter doesn’t just impact you physically, but it can drain you mentally. If you are feeling stuck in some area of your life, start clearing some clutter and notice how your mental clarity improves and momentum starts to build. Where is your clutter starting to accumulate?

Clutter is one of the greatest thieves of clarity, focus, energy and productivity - and it has a tendency to creep up on you. Have you ever noticed how much easier it is to get things done and think clearly when your environment is free of clutter? Enlist the help of your family, co-workers, or employees to clear clutter at work, home and in the car - the three areas where you spend the majority of your time. Most importantly, schedule some time in the next seven days - even if it is only 30 minutes - to clear your clutter! What specifically should you clear and why?

1. Stuff you don’t use anymore.
Are you holding on to things you don’t use? Look around your office, home and car. What could you give away (if it’s in good condition) or throw away (because it’s broken or in bad shape)? Many people hold on to things out of fear that they will need them in the future. It’s a fear of not having enough. Don’t allow that fear to cause you to clutter your environment. Be willing to let go of things when you no longer need them or use them.

2. Projects you are procrastinating on.
You may not think of it as clutter, but that old to-do list that keeps rolling over in your head everyday is clutter for your brain. Either drop the projects, complete them now, or give yourself a new and reasonable deadline.

3. Too much stuff in too little space.
If you are one of the many who crams everything into your space, it’s time to make room in your environment. From your desk at work to your bathroom counters, overcrowding your space can leave you feeling mentally overcrowded. Psychologically speaking, when you make space in your environment, you make room for more of what you want in your life.

4. Mess, junk, and stuff that is in disarray!
When things are completely out of order, it is more difficult to plan, strategize, think or take action effectively. Before ending your day, take five minutes to put things in order - at work, home and in your car - so that you can start fresh the next day.

5. Things you don’t like.
Is there anything in your car, home or office that you simply don’t like? Your environments should inspire you, not depress, frustrate or irritate you. Make sure your environments are filled with the sites, scents and sounds you love most.

My challenge to you this week:
Set aside some time (whether it’s five minutes or five hours!) to clear clutter in your environment in the areas that stress you most.

Journaling assignment:
What specifically causes you stress in your environments (home, work, car)? What are you willing to do to enhance your environment so that it energizes you rather than causes you stress?

Until next time …

Warm wishes,
Valorie

Inspire, Inc. Copyright (c) 2008 Valorie Burton. www.valorieburton.com.

This article definitely speaks to me. One of my goals for this year is to truly be ruthless with myself in terms of the “stuff” that’s cluttering my house, my car, my computer….my entire life. As a matter of fact, I’ve challenged myself to get rid of 9 things a day every day this year until either (1) all my ’stuff” is gone or (2) it’s the end of the year, whichever comes first. (If you could have seen the faces of the guys at the donation center when I pulled up to unload my stash. And when I started showing up WEEKLY? Priceless! LOL)

More about my “9 Things” in future posts….I gotta go play catch-up since I was out and about yesterday.

Here’s to less “Stuff” in the near future!

*~* MsJayye *~*

Every three weeks, I’m on call. Tomorrow’s my last day on-call for this rotation. Hooray! Hip Hip Hooray!

All things considered, it isn’t THAT bad…except, I’m still feeling my way through and trying to figure out when I need to respond to any issues, etc. For the most part, it’s just another weekend. But….this is week two of a change in process on the part of the IT staff.

What does that mean?

Every night morning around 1am, I received a page. Did I need to do anything about the page? No. Shoot, the complete message doesn’t even show up on the pager.

So….why page me?

*sigh*

During the week, a coworker was testing changes to the process. You know what that meant right? Every time he executed a test case, my team (the 4 of us) got an email. And lucky me being the person with the pager this week? I got the added bonus of a page. Every.Single.Time.

We generate a cycle of bills every night. Most mornings when we get to work, batch is almost finished. BUT…there are a few big cycles that don’t always finish before the next cycle is supposed to start. When that happens, we have to delay the next cycle and then monitor the current day’s cycle so we know when to kick off the next day. (Sounds like fun, huh? LOL)

Well, guess what Thursday night was? The BIGGEST cycle so yours truly had to put Friday’s batch on hold then come home to monitor it. Ok.

‘Cept, to get online via my work pc, I have to use an aircard. Guess what? It had been deactivated. (That is a WHOLE other story LOL) So while I’m “kinda” oncall this weekend, my manager is actually monitoring the batch. *sigh*

BUT, least anyone think I’m “maxing and relaxing”, oh no. Remember I still have the pager.

Yep.

The one that went off at 6:30pm, 11:40pm, 11:58pm, 12:38am, 12:44am, 3:24am, 5:30am, 7am….

The one with all the “FYI” pages.

*SIGH*

Monday morning can NOT here fast enough. Trust me.

Then I get to delete the corresponding emails that go with the pages. LOL AND reactivate the darn aircard.

Fun times. Fun times.

SET YOURSELF FREE
Letting Go of Perfection

It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.

This doesn’t mean that we don’t strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection—especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness.

In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood—an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else’s approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.

– Daily OM

J-Factor (translation? “MsJayy’s loose thoughts): Someone shared that excerpt with me earlier today and I thought I’d let my loose thoughts tumble out on this blog page.

I’ve been told before that I’m a perfectionist. I’m not. I do like things to “flow”, to run smoothly and to be “right” yet I’m flexible and wise enough at this place in life to know that “right” does NOT equal “perfection”.

I can recall being in situations – personal and professional – where I was working myself into a tizzy trying to make sure everything was ‘perfect’. I literally wore myself out. I suppose that was my initiation into the ‘Art of Perspective’. Perspective is a beautiful thang. Yes indeed. Once you gain a little, you understand that perfection (like so many other things) is subjective. Everybody has their own standard for what’s “perfect” and too often, we are trying to measure our energies by someone else’s scale. Can I tell you something? No one else’s “perfect” meter is calibrated for you.

Can I tell you something else? Seeking perfection is a crutch for a lot of people. Some transform it into a form of procrastination. (*ahem* What? Why ya’ll looking at ME?) Until every little thing falls into place, they can’t do X, Y, or Z.

Or better yet, we let it become a gateway to usher in or orchestrate our own failure…self-sabotage at its finest. No sense in even trying when you already know you’re going to fail, right?

This is real life. And in real life, stuff happens. You have to learn to roll with the punches. And the pinches. When we focus on being perfect, we give ourselves a severe case of tunnel vision. This can slow (or freeze) our reaction time if an issue comes up. Most of us try to plan for known risks and have a back-up plan in mind. But…like I said, this is real life and we can’t possibly plan for it all. The best we can do is plan well, do our best and give ourselves room to maneuver.

In the end, the ultimate goal isn’t really perfection but rather a level of personal excellence. To always do your best and walk away knowing that you gave it your all. When you operate from this perspective, you realize that as long as what you’ve done is perfect enough for you, that’s truly all that matters.

Free Yourself!
*~* MsJayy *~*

Just a string of loose thoughts on my part…started Friday while at the 9-2-5…allowed to “simmer” to perfection over the weekend. Stirred slightly on Monday. Served up (FINALLY!!) on Tuesday Morning. Think of it as a “gumbo” of sorts…you can’t rush good gumbo. (Or…think of it as me dragging my a**. *sigh* )

1. It is ab-so-frigging-lute-ly insane that it has taken THIS many days to complete a post on “random” thoughts. For real. Sheesh!

2. I am the chick who did a post about “No excuses – Only results” right? Grrr!

3. YEA for SNOW DAYS!! Whoo-frigging-hoo! More please! (Um, yeah, this was from Monday) (Looking at #6, you’ll note that I was on “watch” last night – also know as Sunday - while the snow was still falling. At 5:45am, we were on a 2-hr delay but then “Da Man” came on TV and announced that we should just stay home. Whoo-hoo!!)

4. Booo! No extended snow day on Tuesday although we did get a two-hr delay. And bless their hearts – with the exception of 3 people (including yours truly), everybody in my office came in at their normal time. Bunch of darn workaholics!

5. I was sooooo glad to see Friday come. Especially 5pm.

6. My “gladness factor” was elevated by the fact that I wasn’t on call this weekend. Whew!

7. After being away from home for two weekends in a row, I was home this weekend (YEA ME!)…and I was an absolute slug. LOL

8. I did manage to take the car in for the what I hope will be the last repairs in a long, long, LONG time. Can’t stress the “LONG’ enough. Now I’m telling you, when I take the car to be inspected in May, if anybody even HINTS at a repair - I don’t care how small - you might just see me on the evening news so…don’t spend all your tax refund — I might need bail money. LOL

9. We finally got some snow (THIS was Sunday night). Actually, it’s still snowing. We’re talking I’m gonna need to dig myself out in morning. Why am I watching the list of “snow closings” like I’m in elementary school? LOL

10. Oh how I wished I worked from home. Or had some vacation time built up. Darn newbie status! Ugh!

11. I was very tempted to cut my hair about two weeks ago. AND…I was tempted to…perm it. *GASP* Yes, I was tempted to go back to the “creamy crack” as they call it. I did neither - the haircut or the perm. I’m good. For now. But you might wanna check on me from time to time.

12. My neighbor’s boyfriend (the “good” neighbor) cleaned my sidewalk & around my driver’s side door. Bless his heart! I had given up on some kids coming through the neighborhood trying to make a few ends and was heading out to do the deed myself. “The-man-formally-known-as-my-boyfriend” used to clean my sidewalk and the neighbors back in the day. One of the things I miss about me. One of the FEW things.

13. Ya’ll still mad at Tavis Smiley, huh? LOL Dang, let it go. Seriously.

14. I was wracked with some major cravings this weekend….soda (Mt. Dew specifically. I fought it off with 2 huge mugs of pineapple ginger tea with honey. Yum!)…a big, juicy burger (THAT was dinner. Again I say to you YUM!)…and some really great conversation (still waiting on that to come to fruition. *sigh*).

15. My cellphone has lost its mind. I’m so not feeling it right now. I’m pushing one button or trying to scroll and the phone does what it wants to do. Arrrggghhh!

16. Oh, and my house phones are on the blink too. Actually, they’re stuck on “do not disturb” so I’m not getting calls OR messages. And the user’s guide? I can only find the version that’s in Spanish. Me trying to interpret it? Hilarious. I CAN tell you this – there are NO curse words in it.

17. I really need to get those 2 craft projects off my dining room table. By Sunday evening, they WILL be done. For real.

18. I’ve been trying to cook more. Got out of the habit a few years ago. I made a black bean/corn salsa last week for our team luncheon. Quick & easy & tasty. I’ll use less onion next time - it was too strong for me. My teammates loved it. That and my spinach dip. Now to find some tasty dishes that will fall in line with my “pre-diabetic diet”.

19. Hmmmm….I wonder if I’m still “PRE-diabetic”. Guess I need to schedule an appointment with Dr. Z.

20. I need to try something different where the job is concerned. Was gonna try a little experiment this week but the snow put a tiny crimp in things. I suppose I can do “Plan B” Tuesday and go back to original plan on Wednesday.

21. Speaking of “Plan B”, I need to talk with my nephew D about his backup plan. *sigh*

22. After last week, I was very tempted to call the recruiter who offered me a 6mo temp to perm position in my old industry. VERY tempted.

23. What is li’l “Laura Winslow” doing on “Clean Sweep”? Wonder how long she’s gonna be filling in for Niecey Nash? I’on know but I’ll be glad when she finds her zone cause all those hand movements (that darn ‘cobra’ thing is annoying), that licking of the lips and stilted vocals is not working.

24. What is up with Gmail? Why is my email flaking out on the regular? It’s acting very much like my cellphone. Ugh! And Lord knows I do NOT want to switch email addies again.

25. Because I was a slug this weekend, I didn’t make it to the grocery store. Oops! Hmmm, me thinks me might regret that later today (this was Sunday and actually, things worked out well enough. It’s not like I didn’t have food in the house so…I just cooked what was handy. Delish!)

Ok….that’s a nice sum of “randomness”. Off to get some “work” work done.

I’m a people person. I am. Very much so. I know this. AND…I like this about myself. I do. I really really do.

Howsomever….

Please let the record show:

If you are a person with a “GET OVER” mentality, I’m gonna need you to do the “CeCe Peniston” and “Go…keep on, walk on…keep on walking”.

For real.

Please, PLEASE, PUHLEEZE miss me with ALL of that nonsense.

Once a person has shown themselves to have this type mentality, I try my best to walk wide circles around them. I do. Cause I know me. And yes, I will do the whole “Be-blessed-but-be-gone” thing but catch me at the wrong time and that “Be-blessed-but-be-gone” will most likely come after a long, strong string of bad words and unvarnished truths about your mentality and its irksomeness. Not in an attempt to get you to change – that’s on you and if that mentality works for you, then by all means – do you - but in an attempt to clarify MY boundaries and tolerations. Like I said - do you, just do the do where I’m out of bounds.

Thanking you in advance….

MsJayy
*and just like that…I’m breathing easy…*