Today marks the first day of Lent which runs for 40 days…..

In the past, I’ve given up chocolate, caffeine, fried foods, cursing…

This year?

I thought I’d try something different….

Told my boss yesterday that I was giving up my job….but just for LENT. She said it was cool, as long as she could do it too. Bwaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaa!

NOTE TO SELF:

NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS

That’s it.

No excuses - only results.
Period.
Finito.
End of story.

No matter what the undertaking….

1. Finish poetry collection #2. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
2. Completing the draft of novel #1. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
3. Finish my framing projects. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
4. Drop that first 10 pounds. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
5. Get phase one of home repairs done. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
6. Finish training documents. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
7. Declutter my house…and my life. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
8. Mail T’s book (*sigh* Sorry Sweetie….). “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
9. Maintain “great” numbers (from blood pressure to cholesterol, to A1C, to credit rating, to weight, to bank balances, to book sales, etc.) “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”
10. Push through whatever obstacles come up….or the ones I dream up. “NO EXCUSES - ONLY RESULTS.”

No matter what the undertaking - getting to the gym, making time for writing, getting that business plan polished, networking, more QT with friends/family, paying down debt, saving money, losing weight, letting your hear grow, taking a class, cleaning out your closet, etc - don’t give yourself the time, room or energy of an excuse.

Go for results. Every time.

Wow. My first RandomNESS/MESS post of the year.

Why is it that I wake up at 3am but I’m still 10-15 mins late for work?

I’ve decided my 3am wake-up call is my spirit’s way of pushing me to get some writing done.

Why did my company-sponsored deferred comp plan send me a letter saying I hadn’t listed any beneficiaries? Cause um….I did…two of them as a matter of fact.

AND…why did they say my allocations didn’t equal up to 100% so they just put me in a specific fund? Um…lemme see if I get this right. I split my allocations among 4 funds, none of which even REMOTELY resembles the one they “placed” me in (in terms of how it operates or name). Why not just put that remaining percent (or should I say that IMAGINARY percent) in that whacked out fund?

Dear “Keystone Cops” — this is how benefits are handled: person enrolls, turns in paperwork on 1/27; person has health insurance & dental cards by 2/9. Take THAT & rewind it back.

I just turned down a job opp in my former industry. It was hard. I love that work and you woulda thunk that job description was written specifically for me. But….times are much too uncertain right now to take that risk. I passed it on to a former coworker who was laid-off last week. Hopefully, it’ll work out for her.

Princess So Fabulous told me that she’s never seen me in a skirt/dress. What?!?! Madness I tell you! Sheer madness! I directed her to the photos lining the stairway at her house. Hmph!

In my decluttering efforts, I found about 4-5 day planners. Including one of those “Executive” type dealings that had been used. And then…I found a single page turn from a 1987 dayplanner. Why was I holding on to that month? I mean, I know why the month was important to me but why did I literally save that piece of paper? I tossed it this morning.

Know what makes me laugh? Folks keep saying there must not really be a recession cause every time THEY go to the mall, movies, on vacation, out to eat, etc. the parking lots, stores, restaurants, etc are packed. Ok….so YOU the only person that can have money to spend? Sheesh. Get over ya self. P.D.Q.

My coworker/walking partner and I tend to come to work dressed very similarly more days out of the week than I care to remember. Seriously. Last Friday, we both had on jeans, with black shoes, jackets - only difference was my top was a pastel blue, hers was pastel green. LOL Tuesday we both had on black pants and tops with red print.

We haven’t walked in about 2 weeks. Shhhhhhh!

I’m still mad about my dental benefits - my favorite dentist is STILL not within my network. Waaaaah!

I said I was going to cook more this year. Um…see…what had happened was….
*sigh*

I said I was going to read more. Well, I’m proud to say that I’m SMASHING da heck out of THAT goal. Whoo-hoo! Finished another book over the weekend. Now I just need to figure out how to mesh my reading with my writing time….

My sister wants to do a cruise next year. With our family. For seven days. Girl….I don’t think they have a ship big enough. Bwwwwaaaaaahhhhhaaaaa!

Why you calling me two years after the fact to apologize for some raggedy behavior on your part? I’ve over it…and you. NEXT!

Roland Burris….*Jesus Take the Wheel!*

Chris Brown….*Sweet Jesus Part the Sky!*

My nephew D asked me what I thought about the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna thing. I asked him what HE thought — they’re in his age group, you tell me. You know I was curious about it cause of my nephew’s age AND because he’s in a mentoring/peer counseling group at school. I still haven’t talked to Princess So Fabulous about it. She is (was?) a huge Chris Brown fan. Ugly situation to put it mildly BUT…if used properly, it will make for a great teachable moment for “our” kids.

So, I caught a newstory the other day about how dentists are asking Mt.D.E.W. to do something about all the sugar. They showed this kids who were Dew drinkers and their teeth were BEYOND jacked up. Hmmm….ok, as a Mt.D.E.W. drinker (trying to become a “former” Dew drinker, well actually trying to become a “former soda” drinker), how much soda are you drinking for your teeth to get to THAT condition? Seriously. That looked like a whole lot of something else, including a serious lack of attention to dental hygiene beyond the Dew.

My manager’s not in the office today. She’s out sick. The technical team manager isn’t here today either. He’s working from home. I’d love to goof off but….I gots mad amounts of work to do. Plus I’m on call this week. I pray it’s a smooth one.

I found the end tables I want for my lving room. Trying to convince myself to wait until after I finish my car repairs and a few home repairs before purchasing them. I’m trying. I’m trying. Found some really unique tables that i’m going to buy and use as plant stands too. *wink* Yes, the sanctuary is coming along quite nicely.

IT’S SNOWING!!
When I came out of the house, it was just starting to sleet the tiniest bit. By the time I stopped of the cappuchino I shouldn’t be drinking, it was icing rather noticeably but more wet than frozen. Now? IT’S SNOWING!! Man….I wanna go home. Hmph!

A’ight. Lemme go earn money for my new tables.

Peace! Stay warm!

*~* MsJayy *~*

“Being Deeply Loved by Someone Gives You Strength While Loving Someone Deeply Give You Courage.”
~ Lao Tzu ~

**What can I say? I had the best of intentions for dropping a Valentine’s post but circumstances forced a change of plans. Nevertheless, I thought this article by Valorie Burton was worth sharing. After all, greeting card companies, chocolate manufacturers, florists, etc may hype THIS one day up in terms of “LOVE” but REAL LOVE is day-by-day, moment-by-moment…that ooey gooey stuff that fills in the crevices of our lives. Enjoy the read!

Are You Easy to Love? Seven Keys to Love and Be Loved

Dear Friend,
Since February is the month we talk most about love, I’d like to share a column that I wrote previously and think you may enjoy it this week.

I bought a cute card for my then three-year old goddaughter. Her birthday falls on Valentine’s Day and the card jokingly said, “People born on Valentine’s Day are easier to love.” It occurred to me, “Some people really are easier to love, aren’t they?” Why is that? I think it is because some people are better at loving others. Because they express love in healthy ways on a consistent basis, they also attract love into their lives. It is a simple principle most of us have been taught repeatedly: What you sow, you will also reap.

This week, I would like to serve as your loving reminder of what it means to love someone. These are seven straightforward, at times difficult, but always effective strategies for loving others - and experiencing more love in your life. Saint Paul wrote them in the 13th chapter of his first letter to the Corinthians. We often hear the scripture recited at weddings. This week, meditate on these seven principles. Find news ways to express love on a daily basis and strengthen your daily interaction with others — whether loved ones or strangers, co-workers or neighbors. The greatest use of your life is to love. When you apply this kind of love to a situation, it never fails:

1. LOVE IS PATIENT.
People won’t always do what you want when you want them to. Practice being patient - whether with your children, your significant other or the grocery cashier who takes too long to ring up your order. Everything happens for a reason - and that includes the timing of when things happen. Be patient and learn the lesson that comes in the process of enduring the wait. Sometimes the lesson is simple: Slow down and enjoy life.

2. LOVE IS KIND.
Every single day, choose to be kind. Ask yourself each morning, “How could I be a blessing to someone today?” Whether it is a kind word, a loving gesture or helping someone in need, seek ways to be kind daily. Not only will it be a blessing to those you encounter, but it feels good to your soul.

3. LOVE DOES NOT ENVY.
There will always be someone who appears to have “more” or to be doing better. Make a decision not to be envious of others, but in every circumstance of life to find a reason to be thankful. Jealousy poisons your attitude, builds resentment and can ruin relationships. Rather than envying others, learn from them. Even be inspired by them. And simultaneously, choose to be content with what you have while you journey towards something better.

4. LOVE DOES NOT BOAST AND IS NOT PROUD.
Resist the temptation to boast about yourself, your accomplishments or your loved ones. It often only makes others feel “less than,” which of course, is not an expression of love. Practice humility. Allow your accomplishments to speak for themselves. Others often notice your good work and deeds, even without you having to make a big deal of them. In fact, it is far more attractive to simply “be” great than to try to convince others of your greatness.

5. LOVE IS NOT RUDE OR EASILY ANGERED.
We’ve all had our moments when our behavior has been less than considerate. Next time you feel the urge to be rude, inconsiderate or to jump to conclusions, stop yourself. Take a deep breath and ask, “What would be a more loving response to this situation?” That doesn’t mean that you allow others to walk all over you. You can speak the truth to people in a very matter of fact way, without being rude. Be considerate of others feelings and be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt.

6. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS.
Have you ever known someone who remembered every mistake you ever made or everything you ever did wrong? As you have grown and become a better person, all they can remember is the person you used to be. It is very frustrating and you may even find yourself ready to distance yourself from that person. Learn from the past behavior of others - and protect yourself accordingly, when necessary - but resist the temptation to continually bring up everything someone has done wrong. Love others by encouraging them towards a better future, not defining them by their past.

7. LOVE REJOICES IN THE TRUTH.
So often, it seems we are afraid of the truth. When something is wrong, we pretend everything is OK. Often both parties will pretend even when both parties know there is a problem. One of the most important love skills you can learn is to be honest. Refuse to live lies or to accept lies as truth. Have truthful conversations with yourself and others. It allows you to get to the core of issues faster. It empowers others to trust you. It relieves the stress of tiptoeing around the real issues. Learn to speak the truth in a spirit of love and kindness, and your life will be richer and more fulfilling.

Until next time …

Warm wishes,
Valorie

“When people show you who they are, believe them.” ~ Maya Angelou

Mama Maya nailed it on that one. Yes indeedy, she did.

As a huge admirer of Ms. Angelou , it shouldn’t surprise you that chief among the many quotes/affirmations I “collect” would be many wisdom-filled gems from Maya Angelou. But this little goodie shown above? CLASSIC. Among my all-time faves.

Never have truer words been spoken.

Quite simple when you think about it: “When people show you who they are, believe them.”

Simple right?

*sigh*

Then why do so many of us then do the opposite? We doubt what’s repeatedly shown right before our eyes. We excuse it. We downplay it. We chalk it up to a “bad day”. We say it must be something WE did, that WE somehow brought this on ourselves. We insist (even if it’s just in our minds) that we can change the person/the behavior. Or worse - we accept it as all we deserve.

Foolishness. Plain and simple.

What has me pondering these “face value” issues? Having had someone recently show me who they truly are. And you know what? From my perspective, they are truly an M-E-S-S. And not in a good way. They seem to think it works for them so to them I say, “Good for you, be blessed but my dear, be gone”.

When I tell people how truly drama-free I intend to be day-by-day, they laugh. Oh but when I show them by removing myself from what some feel is the magnetic pull of drama? It is plain and simple: I mean that ish. Fo’ real.

Drama is not cheap. It always comes at a cost. Whether it’s in terms of my time, energy, peace of mind, sanity, other relationships, etc.

And trust me, all of those things are much too precious to me to be squandered over some drama – most of which is poorly manufactured. So when the curtain comes up on some drama, I’m the one you see sneaking out before the first act gets underway. You gots to be MIGHTY important to me to catch me still front-and-center when the credits start rolling. And even then, I’m hanging on the periphery of the dramatic sketch that is your life.

So yeah, I found myself walking around the edges of some drama. Looked back over my interactions with the person in the lead role of this piece of faux dramatic cinema and realized that the role they wanted me to play wasn’t one I was suited for.

So…

…without fanfare or apology…

…I bowed out.

Gave MYSELF a standing ovation, left the stage, and kept right on living.

I love a good drama as much as the next person - I just don’t need to have a starring OR supporting role.

Oh how timely this little goodie is! I love it when there is such serendipity, such synchronicity in my life…and when I recognize it - and why it appears when it does. Honey, hush!

Sweetening A Sour Apple

When A Bad Apple Spoils the Bunch
Because life requires that we interact with different personalities, it is not uncommon for us to encounter a situation where there is one person whose behavior may negatively impact the experiences of others. Someone who is loud and crass can interrupt the serenity of those who come together to practice peace. A disruptive worker can cause rules to be imposed that affect their colleagues’ professional lives. A team member who is pessimistic or highly critical may destroy the morale of their fellow members. And one “bad apple” in your personal life can be a potent distraction that makes it difficult to focus on the blessings you’ve been given and the people who love you.

There may always be people in your life who take it upon themselves to create disruption, foster chaos, stamp out hope, and act as if they are above reproach – even when, in doing so, they put a blight on their own experiences. But you don’t need to allow their negativity and callousness to sour your good mood. Often, our first impulse upon coming head-to-head with a bad apple is to express our anger and frustration in no uncertain terms. However, bad apples only have the power to turn our lives sour if we let them.

If you can exercise patience and choose not to respond to their words or actions, you will significantly limit the effect they are able to have on you and your environment. You can also attempt to encourage a bad apple to change their behavior by letting your good behavior stand as an example. If your bad apple is simply hoping to attract notice, they may come to realize that receiving positive attention is much more satisfying than making a negative impression. While you may be tempted to simply disassociate yourself entirely from a bad apple, consider why they might be inclined to cause disturbances. Understanding their motivation can help you see that bad apples are not necessarily bad people. Though bad apples are a fact of life, minimizing the impact you allow them to have upon you is empowering because you are not letting anyone else affect the quality of your experiences. You may discover that buried at the very heart of a bad apple is a seed of goodness.

— Daily OM

Sidenote: While I recognize that sometimes a “bad apple” is simply crying out for help, attention, etc…..sometimes a “bad apple” is straight rotten to the core. Once the core is goine, it’s all over Baby. No amount of ANYTHING that you do (or anyone else for that matter) can change that fact. Trust me. Don’t feel guilty for recognizing and removing yourself from the situation where that happens to be the truth (from your perspective).

When I was in elementary school - or maybe it was middle school (*shrug*) - one of my teachers told me she found it interesting that I was “academically inclined” as well as largely “artsy-fartsy”. Hmph! ‘Round my way, we call that VERSATILE…WELL-ROUNDED…SKILLED. LOL

It’s not secret that I am a lover of words…writing them, reading them (finished another book this week! Woohoo!), speaking them….

But, I am a bit “artsy fartsy”…love music, played flute for a minute in school, can draw a little, had a few dreams of being an actress (but I was a bit too shy for all of that & a wee bit afraid of…well…neva mind…that’s a whole ‘nother blog topic)…

Anywho, I find that many creative-minded people have more than one creative outlet. Writing would be primary for me but…I’m a bit “crafty” if I do say so myself.

Here’s a project (ok a “prototype”) I completed last year.

Not bad huh? Got a few more to work on. Hopefully, I’ll get to them in the near future. It was supposed to be a gift of sorts but um…well…you know…

Right now, between doing “deep decluttering” in my house and getting some major writing done, I’m looking forward to completing a craft project involving these plates:

I snagged the set on clearance during the holidays as a bday gift to myself. i could very easily prop them up in plate-holders and put them on the counter. Or put them on a plate shelf. But…I’on wanna do that. I could hang them on the wall without a case but they didn’t come with the hook/wire attached and I don’t want to take a chance of adding that and having them fall off the wall. I would cry. For real.

What I *think* I want to do is create/buy a shadow box to house them in. Add some black cloth to the background, maybe toss in some shells and then add them to the wall in the kitchen/dining room.

Love those plates. Very colorful. Just wish there was some menfolk in them. *sigh*

After THAT project is complete, I need to move on to displaying potholders my brother snagged while in the Philippines. They’re made to look like the logos of certain products (like Pork-n-Beans, Welch’s grape jelly, etc). Pretty cool. I have some “bamboo-ish” frames that the potholders will fit into BUT…I need to find something to cover them with…some glass, plexiglass….something. that’s going to be very tricky because the glass would need to be EXTREMELY thin to fit in the sides of the trays. I think I have 6 potholders. When I figure out the cases for them, they’re going on the wall in the kitchen above the stove.

I won’t even begin to tell you how many other projects I have. (In all my decluttering, I have yet to tackle the basket of crafting supplies). Because I craft in spurts, I generally try to create a prototype so I’ll know what I was trying to do when time permits and I can get back to it. (Like my “idea” file for my writing cause I can NOT hold all that in my head. Don’t have enough room. Not with all the voices that live in my head. LOL)

Anywho, I think getting back to crafting this year will provide additional balance to my life. When I’m stumped on a writing project, I can rest my ‘writing mind’ and go crafting. When I need a break from both of those, there’s always a good book to be read. Or…good music to be found and listened to.

So….how do YOU sharpen YOUR creative edge?

Wow. I’ve listened to her rendition several times and each time, I’m more in awe than the last.

She looks great.

She sounded FANTASTIC.

She.Nailed.It.

Love me say Lalah Hathaway. Very talented artist. Soooo underrated. But Sistah-girl just keeps doing what she does - making great music.

I know I bought her latest CD, “Self-Portrait”. I know I did. (Didn’t I? I had to…right? *sigh) But I haven’t been able to put my hands on it and that frustrates the heck out of me…especially since I’ve been wanting to hear it for the last few days. Arrrgh! I hate when that happens. Oh well, I’ll just have to put something equally as mellow & soul-feeding in the CD player. ::::grumbling & mumbling to self, “Whateva THAT is::::

Peaceful Sunday blessings to you….

*~* MsJayy*~*