** It should be noted that yours truly is in a foul mood. Correction: a foul a** mood. Not brought upon by the subject of this post; howsomever, the subject of this post is NOT helping said mood. Me gwin’ quarantine myself shortly. No fear. **

‘Member when we were kids and all the books/stories we read ended with “THE END”? Thinking about that makes me laugh - like we were too young and/or naive to grasp that the story was over.

And then…I get a call from an ex. And suddenly, not recognizing “THE END” isn’t funny anymore. *sigh*

Clearly he misunderstood “THE END”. A-frigging-gain.

Let me point out a few things. This particular ex is someone I dated for quite a few years (though if we were to subtract all the ‘down time’…it would probably be a very short relationship). This particular ex is someone with whom I’ve not had a relationship since the late 90’s. THIS particular ex is making my teeth itch…and we all know that THAT is not good.

Here’s the deal. Over the holiday weekend, I ran into a friend who happens to be the wife of my “adopted” big brother…and the man who introduced me to “the-man-formerly-know-as-my-boyfriend”. We did a little catch-up and exchanged numbers. I knew then that I’d get a call from him - it was just a matter of time. Actually it turned out to be a matter of hours. I think a day passed before he called. (Now the fact that she gave him my cell number is slightly irritating but oh well.)

No big deal. I harbor no ill-will. I can certainly be civil & carry on a conversation. But Dude called me as I was getting ready to head out so I didn’t have a lot of time. And when he’s nervous, he does way too much hemming & hawing. I used to say to him “stop fluffing me - say it.” And this day, I needed him to get to the point & get off my phone so I could get moving.

We talk about the usual - family, work, yada yada yada. And then…he asks…what he always asks when he works up the nerve to call….”Can I stop by?” Nope. Followed by “Can I call you again?” Nope. Of course he doesn’t “understand” why I say no. Of course he doesn’t.

*Insert INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH S-I-G-H*

No. For what? And my saying “no” wasn’t a signal to begin negotiations - it was yet again another “The End” that he failed to recognize. I’m trying to be civil but when I tell you I know what he’s thinking, believe me. Am I psychic? No - well, mayhap to some slim degree but I don’t need to be. Calling him “PREDICTABLE” would be the greatest understatement known to man. He thinks that “claiming friendship” will be a placeholder of sorts for something else to resurface. It’s not. I’m not big on TV reruns so you KNOW I’m not big on entertaining them in my personal life. No thank you.

He goes on about something I said to him way back in the day that he didn’t heed or think meant anything. Now he realizes whatever he realizes. My patience is worn O-U-T. Not thin. OUT. I’m tired. And as much as I love to dance, THIS particular dance is one that I willingly sit out.

So I take a deep breath and tell him as calmly as I possibly can that while I appreciate the fact that my words hold some value to him, I don’t see that as cause for his feet to rest under my table in this lifetime. I don’t. I don’t see any reason for us to “hang out”. We are NOT friends. We don’t need to be. And honestly? I don’t want to be. What we are is “FRIENDLY” meaning if I see you out somewhere, we can do about 3-5 minutes of casual conversation, wish each other well and be on our way. It’s just that simple.

The fact that I could accurately anticipate every morsel of conversation he pulled out of his bag is NOT a good sign. It means that he has not grown any in all this time. That is bigger than a red flag for me. Don’t get me wrong - he’s a nice enough person but…I need something DEEPER than “nice”. He does not personify that something deeper. At all.

And me letting him think that he can call me anytime or drop by now and then would do nothing to help him swim into his particular brand of “deeper”.

He gets a bit testy. I laugh. Not loud. Not even maliciously. Well, it was a wee bit on the evil side but he should be astute enough to heed the flashing lights. He has a mini-episode of some kind mumbling about how I can’t be friends with him but I’m still friends with some other folk I’ve dated. I assure him that he’s crossed the line into what is CLEARLY “nunya”…and the fact that he’s not friends with ANYONE he ever dated (or married…*sigh* me not gwin’ dere…not today…) CLEARLY says more about HIM than about the women. *shrug*

Lawd! Why can’t folk just let “ovah” be “OVAH”? Dang! I’m not trying to hurt his feelings but I told ya’ll I was in a mood. I gave him ample warning. He tells me that something about the fact that he’s still calling me/thinking about me after all this time should mean something to me.

Ha! Is this the part where I’m supposed to be flattered? Without getting into too much of the history of this mystery, I tell him that I’m in no way flattered. He didn’t call me cause he wanted to necessarily go back down memory lane. He called cause he’s lonely. He called cause when you’re alone AND lonely and no one appears to be coming across the horizon, what you “had” looks so much better.

LET.IT.GO.

Wait, try this: LET.IT.GO.AND.MOVE.ON.

Double up on it if you must. Just get’r done. Just do it. Just…be blessed….but….be….gone.

** It should also be noted that this post was written a couple of days ago so…my “foul arse mood” has been downgraded to “lightly foul”. And I’m about to rectify that with a ROAD TRIP. Capital Jazz Festival, here I come. Just point me in the direction of Ledisi and Eric Roberson…and some French-Canadian men willing to sing love songs to me in the middle of a gas station right ’round the midnight hour. LOL **

Happy Weekend! Stay cool!!
*~* MsJayy *~*

Is it just me or do you hear Mint Condition singing “Nothing Left to Say”? Alternating with CeCe Peniston’s “Walk On”? Oh. It’s prolly just me. *shrug*