I love my mother. I ‘clare I do.

But….sometimes….when planning is involved….

….that’s when I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that…I…am….adopted. LOL

So….my mom calls me about a week ago to say that she’s catching the train to visit my cousin. Ok.

Now, for you that just might be “informational”. For me, it’s a “requirement”, meaning she needs me to pick her up and drop her at said train station. Hmmmm…..I take a quick look at my calendar, see that I have plans and gently “suggest” that she ask someone else.

Now, I know my Mom so, I know that she is ONLY going to ask someone else at the very last minute. Part of it is that whole thing about not asking folk to do things for you (unless it’s your single, childless daughter cause what else could she possibly have to do, right? *SIGH* Yes, therapy. I know. I’m on it.) Part of it is not being able to offer folk money for doing this favor.

Anywho, I rearrange my schedule SLIGHTLY. She tells me that her train leaves at 11am Saturday & she needs to be there at 10am. Cool.

Thursday evening, my mom calls to ask me what time I’m going to get there to pick her up Saturday AM. Not being smartalecky but not really getting the question, I respond thusly, “What difference do it make? Just be ready.” I remind myself to breathe.

OK. Saturday I’m pushing to get the door - it’s an hour drive under “good” traffic conditions and I want to allow myself some leeway. Tossing things in my bag for my weekend trip and heading for the front door. The phone rings? Who da heck?!

My mom. (I remind myself once again to BREATHE.)

She can’t find the reservation information she had. She wants me to call the train station and verify what time her train leaves.

*CRICKETS.*

I assure her that she’s getting on A train at 11am. WTH? (I slap myself out of my almost-out-loud “WTH” comment…and BREATHE.)

I get in the car, stop for gas, fill the CD player with some of my favorite music and hit the road, breathing slowly, rhythmically.

Ok….why…why….WHY in the name of all that’s travel-related….

WHY DOES MY MOTHER ANSWER THE DOOR STILL IN HER NIGHTGOWN/ROBE WITH CURLERS IN HER HAIR AND STUFF I KNOW SHE PLANS TO TAKE WITH HER STILL ON THE TABLE?!?!?!?!

**Jesus be a fence and a sense of timing!! **

I.Have.NO.Words.

None.

I walk down the hall, go to the restroom then back to the car to clean out some stuff. (It should be noted that by this time, I am BREATHING heavily…and it’s not deep, cleansing breaths either!!)

While I wait, D wonders into the kitchen, asks me to look over some papers and then my mom starts chatting like we don’t have anywhere to be. Then she starts giving him a list of things to do, yada yada yada, blah blah blah…talking about a few things she needs to do before she leaves, yada yada, blah blah.

I look at the clock. Look at my mother. Watch my mother look at the clock. (I’m tryna BREEVE ya’ll, I really am.)

I ask this question, “What time do you have to be at the train station?” (I breathe)

She says, “10.”

I ask, “And what time is it now?” (I breathe)

She says, “Oh.”

*SIGH*

I would LOVE to say that this is a rare occurrence. I’d LOVE to say that but that my lovelies, would constitute a lie on my behalf.

It happens every single time I go to pick my mom up for whatever the occasion might be. Why? I’on even have a clue cause ya’ll know she’s up at the durn crack of dawn. Heck, she wakes up the frigging roosters! LOL

Family. Gotta love ‘em.

So thankful my DNA marker is heavily laced with a sense of humor,
*~* MsJayy *~*

“To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun? ”
~ Katherine Graham ~

THIS - this is my goal in life - to love what I do and feel that it matters…to do what I love and KNOW that it matters. To live out loud, on purpose.

Living life like it’s GOLDEN…cause it is,

*~* MsJayy *~*

“Only Be Me”….

Without apology. Without compromising my “core” - my heart, spirit, mind, values. As boldly, as courageously, as beautifully as I am…being me.

It is a beautiful thing to behold when you wake up and realize that who you are is exactly who you’re supposed to be. When you fall so madly, deeply, truly in love with yourself that you wake up in joy each and every day. When you understand that who you are and what you’re capable of isn’t an accident and shouldn’t be taken lightly. When you wake up and realize that all that “stuff” you dealt with was meant for something - to sharpen you, to shape you, to grow you, to prune you. When you look up and realize that you’ve grown into all that He meant you to be…and…that the best is yet to come. When you realize that you are here ON PURPOSE and BY DESIGN.

Can I share this with you? I am LOVING the job description of “ME”.

Welcome to the EVOLUTION and REVOLUTION of me.

birthmark

I am…
Constant poetic motion.
God-blessed.
Lyrically endowed.
A breath of literary fresh air.
A perpetual work-in-progress.
Perfect imperfection.

I am…
LOVE
LIGHT
LAUGHTER

I am…
joy personified
wisdom wrapped in guiding light
purpose, passion, power

I am…
ME…
Mission Empowered,
Motivationally Encouraged,
Manifested Energy.

© Jackie Young

Loving this full-time gig of mine,
*~* MsJayy *~*

Came into the office this morning “pre-irritated”. LOL So….I’m sipping on some Asian Plum tea, noshing on apple slices, got some soothing tunes in my ear, and I’m staying way under the radar today.

This “irritated state”? 90% manufactured on the MsJayy assembly line. *sigh* I really, REALLY need to shut that factory down. LOL

I then compounded said irritation by rushing (again) this morning, unorganized, late and playing out all kinds of negative scenarios in my head.

Had a nice little talky-talk with myself as I was speeding um, driving up 2-95 this morning. Trying to readjust myself. And so, rather than the original post I had in mind, I thought I’d generate a gratitude list. Can’t be wound up, worn out, or worked up with a grateful heart. So…here goes:

1. Catching myself as I was easing on down that dead-end road to negativity. Caught myself right in a tight curve, at the last exit ramp. Whew!

2. A really great call with a coach the other night that confirmed and reaffirmed some things for me.

3. A really great conversation with FavCus#1 right after that coaching call that reconfirmed the confirmation and reaffirmed the reaffirmation. LOL Also reminded me of why I love my friends so much.

4. A beautiful bouquet of orange flowers.

5. Hand-blended coconut vanilla chai tea. Yum!!

6. Hearing my niece and nephew (the littlest ones) laugh.

7. Watching my nephew D handle a situation related to college the “right way”.

8. Taking positive steps to expand my career horizons – in Corporate America but more importantly, the “MsJayy Empire”.

9. Being able to share a genuine laugh with the A/C guy while writing out that big a**check. All things told, it could have been bigger.

10. Paying off my car. And doing so without calling up & cussing the company that financed it (even though they make my teeth itch to NO end) or mailing my last payment in all pennies. LOL

11. The sincere desire to be more, have more…where “more” isn’t money or possessions but rather joy, love, laughter, fun, courage, purpose, vision, health, etc. Um, I should say the “sincere desire + definite action plans”.

12. Good music.

13. An answer to a “dilemma” I told myself I was having regarding a craft-type project I have in mind. Now it’s on to creating the prototype!! Whoo-hoo!!

14. Planning a Girls-Outing for me and Princess So Fabulous…

15. Silly jokes that land in my inbox at *just* the right moment.

16. Understanding that “here” serves a purpose and not struggling against it.

17. Knowing that I do NOT have to apologize for being a strong woman. And knowing that there is a man out there who will never, ever ask me to. Knowing that, as strong as I am…he will simply show up stronger. *Sigh* And you just GOTTA love the thought of that!

18. The creative tsunami that is working itself o-u-t in my life right now. I say let it rain! (Which is QUITE different than “make it rain”. LOL)

19. Sexy sandals and a fresh pedi.

20. Visions of a serene evening starting with a relaxing bubble bath, followed by a delicious dinner, refreshing libations & a musical shuffle amongst my favorite CDs. What comes next t’ain’t nunya bidness. LOL

With a full & grateful heart,
*~* MsJayy *~*

“Live the life your soul intended.”
~ Rhonda Britten ~

Live from the seat of your soul,
*~* MsJayy *~*

“Freedom is the oxygen of the soul.” ~ Moshe Dayan

As you move about your day, as you move through your life…I pray deep cleansings breaths for you.

Waiting to exhale - whether it’s in love, finances, health, career, etc - waiting to exhale is NEVER, EVER an option.

Believe that.

Breathe deep,
*~* MsJayy *~*

At her 5th grade graduation ceremony, one of Princess So Fabulous’ teachers read a portion of a poem written by Maria Shriver in her book “Just Who Will You Be?”. I can’t say I paid much attention to it. Not then.

Earlier this week, I received a newsletter that referenced Shriver’s book and this excerpt:

“I’ve learned that asking ourselves not just what we want to be, but who we want to be is important at every stage of our lives, not just when we’re starting out in the world. That’s because in a way, we’re starting out fresh in the world every single day.”

Shriver goes on to say “I will feel my way into who I am becoming.”

Shriver’s book is short - 112 pages to be exact. And I can’t say that it’s necessarily anything new, earth-shattering, or ground-breaking.

What I can say is this: I was fully open to hearing her words (’the same old same old’) in a new way.
I’m at a place in my life where I am willing and able to simply listen differently. That was the key for me.

What brought this to mind?

Tuesday, after speaking at the 37th Anniversary celebration for the Cavalier Chapter of ABWA, I was wired. W-I-R-E-D. Excited. Enthused and ready to talk some more. LOL

It wasn’t so much the feedback that I received from people — although I must admit, confirmation from them that my words resonated was good. It was the fact that I was in MY zone - operating fully from two of my core passions: WORDS (reading them, writing them, speaking them…I stopped short of “singing them”. LOL) and sharing/encouraging others.

Friday, while at work, I was so drained. Tired. At the point where I’ve had more than enough. In pain and ready to ‘get off my nail’. I was so done that every little thing — and I do mean EVERY.LITTLE.THING — pushed me closer and closer to the edge until I found myself clenching my jaw, felt the tightness in my shoulders. I wanted to scream. Literally.

As I was driving home, this loose thought came to sit on my shoulder…light as a butterfly but packing one heck of a punch to my spirit: “There are 1001 worlds of difference between the person you were on Tuesday after that speech and the person you are right now after a single day at this job.”

And there was. And it was very clear. One energized me to no end…the other drained me completely. One had me working from purpose, filled with passion. The other seemed to have no true purpose (outside of claiming a paycheck - and there’s nothing wrong with that…BUT…if there’s a way to merge the two…get paid for purpose/passion…that’s the job I want, the one for which my spirit wants to apply).

Shriver’s book ends with a list of “Ten Things I Pledge to Myself”. Things that she pledges to do/be in order to stay focused and centered on who she wants to be. It includes things like showing up as herself, using her voice to help others, finding quite time, creating a mission statement for her life. She then encourages readers to write their own pledge….but to do so in pencil because we’re all works in progress.

I don’t think there are really any accidents in life. I don’t. I think every single moment in our lives — good, bad, indifferent — serves a purpose. Hearing a portion of Shriver’s poem was no accident. Neither was receiving and/or reading the newsletter that included her excerpt. Neither was actually picking up her book.

It’s just another chapter in the evolution of me.

To your evolution…and to the person YOU will be,
*~* MsJayy *~*

Yep. I am. A full-fledged “Led-Head”.

Do I need help? 12 steps or maybe more?

Nope. Not at all. Rest yourself with all that.

I love being a “Led-Head”. Been one for years now. Long before most folks even knew what it was, being a “Led-Head”…long before most folks even knew who “Led” was.

What’s a “Led-Head”? Who is “Led”?

*Sigh* I shake my head at your innocence and smile. LOL

A “Led-Head” is a die-hard fan of the one and only Ledisi (pronounced “Led-ah-see”).

I love this sister. Her sound. Her vibe. Her spirit.

She closed out the “Symphony Woods Stage” at Capital Jazz Festival this year and she tore it up. Ya hear me?

TO’.IT.UP.

Ripped it to shreds.

She sang. She testified. She performed. She entertained. She rocked it right off the dayum axle!!

If she is EVER appearing in your area, you need to RUN, plop down whatever the ticket price is (I promise she’s worth it), and get prepared to be left speechless, entertained and lifted. She’ll be here later this summer and you know what? I don’t care how hot it is - I plan to be front and center. For real. And ya’ll know I have GOTS to be feeling an artist to deal with extremes of heat or cold. LOL

Enjoy Ledisi performing “Take the Time” from her independently released CD…the one folks are now scrambling to find. What? Do I own it? Puhleeze. Both of them. LOL

Take Some Time,
*~* MsJayy *~*

What do you do when the weight of something you’re carrying around is too heavy?

What do you do?

If you’re me…

You simply stop piling more ‘stuff’ on top of it.

You simply put down whatever it is you’re struggling to carry.

You don’t beat yourself up for trying to be strong, for trying to make it work, for struggling under your own self-inflicted nonsense.

You simply stop. Drop. And Roll…roll that mess right off your back and THEN Roll right out of the situation. You accept the role you played in that madness, forgive yourself for getting it twisted and then move forward.

But then, that’s just me.

** Don’t mind me Folks – life under construction here. Who needs a “hard hat” when they have a “hard HEAD”? *smh*

I’m learning. I promise.

On Tuesday night, when I gave my little talk, one of the things I told the attendees is we need to live our lives ON PURPOSE…meaning that each of us HAS a purpose (even if we’re afraid to admit it to anyone, even to ourselves) and that each of us is here ON Purpose (none of us are “accidental” beings). I don’t believe much, if anything, happens in our lives as a result of an “accident”.

Need a “For Instance”? Ok…read back over the first part of this post. Done?

Now read the story posted below. It is no accident that while I’m in this frame of mind – this setting down of things, this letting go of “stuff”, this space that rewards my “lifting weight” – I just happen upon this story. It is not a new story to me. I’ve heard it before. I’ve read it before.

But you know what?

Like I also told the attendees on Tuesday, sometimes it’s not always about people saying something “new” to you (after all, they say there’s nothing ‘new’ under the sun)). Sometimes you just need to listen in a different way. (Ahhhhh, I love fresh epiphanies!)

Anywho, enjoy your weekend. Find some time for yourself. Give yourself over fully to those moments.

Here’s the story:

There was a dog that sat on the porch howling in pain all day and all night long. People in the neighborhood would always hear the dog, and wonder why he was always howling. One day a neighbor was walking by the house, and saw the owner on the porch with the dog.

“Why does your dog howl like that? He sounds like he’s in pain,” the neighbor said.

“He is in pain,” said the owner. “He’s sitting on a nail.”

“A nail,” the neighbor said. “Is he stuck?”

“Nope,” said the owner.

“So why doesn’t he just get up?” said the neighbor.

The owner replied: “It must not hurt that bad.”

How bad does it have to hurt before I get off MY nail? Before I stop piling “stuff” up on my own shoulders, weighing myself down?

Until something changes….NOTHING changes.

I’ve decided never to ask myself again “How bad can it be?”

I’m replacing that with “How good can it get?” (Just asking that question gives me the tingles. *giggle*)

But hey, that’s just me. And like I said, my life is under construction. Gotta tell you, I am LOVING the foundation.

Live Joyfully,
*~* MsJayy *~*

Whew! I’m home. Unwinding. Trying to calm down after tonight’s event. I recorded it - just finished listening to myself. (To the brother who tells me consistently that he loves my voice, that it sounds exotic to him I say this: “THANK YOU!!” I don’t get it but BayBee…as long as YOU like it, I love it. LOL)

Ok, months ago (MONTHS), a friend of mine asked me if I would speak to her ABWA chapter (American Business Women’s Association). The topic had to be business-related so I would speak around how I published my book. Cool. Oh, and it was their 37th anniversary. No problem.

Well, we got closer and closer to the date and I was dragging my feet about a topic, an outline, a bio, a picture….you know - all the PERTINENT information. (Ok, I procrastinate by nature however, there is something else going on that I need to get a handle on and it is showing up in every facet of my life. I’m hoping that now that this event is behind me & D is squared away college-wise I can deal with it). We finally settle on a topic which Ms. Thing *suggests* becomes something else. No problem. I’m flexible.

Wellllll…..Ms. Thing THEN tells me that there’s an article in the local paper about the event & me being the keynote speaker. *Gulp* Um….er…. *faint*

That’s what had me nervous earlier today — news coverage. And not knowing if my little talk was truly on point. And Ms. Thing was NOT buying the “laryngitis story”. LOL

I make my way over to the event and as I’m speaking with the lady at the table outside the room, I happen to catch a glimpse of some folks sitting front & center. Four of my friends. Ms. Thing invited them. I had no idea they were going to be there. LOL Talk about your jaw dropping open.

We have dinner and general chitchat amongst ourselves and then yours truly takes the podium. I have 30 minutes to share with the group, to inspire them.

My topic: “Live Out Loud - On Purpose”.

Ohmigosh. Ya’ll know what I just did????? Yes - I DELETED THE DARN RECORDING!!!! ARRRGGGHHH!!

Lawd! Not even the book sales from this evening can take the sting out of THAT mistake. *Sigh* Let me go see if there’s a way to recover or restore it.

At any rate, my topic seemed to have been well-received. It was a beautiful celebration of 37 years of doing what they do best - empower, educate, enlighten.

Guess it’s time for me to do the bubblebath thing and then head to bed.

Ciao!

Live DELICIOUSLY!!
*~* MsJayy *~*