Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

On this 9th day of May in the year 2008, let it be known throughout the land that today - THIS DAY - is “JUST BE GOOD TO ME DAY”.

Yes indeed. “Just be good to me”. That’s my focus today…being good to myself. You’re free to snag that thought if you’re feeling it.

There’s been so much going on in the world lately. The situation in Philadelphia. The Sean Bell case. Senator Obama and Rev. Wright. The election. Tornados.Gas prices. Job losses. And I haven’t even broached the things that have touched me upclose and personal. It can be overwhelming.

But…not today.

Today, I refuse to let any of that stuff weigh my spirit down, make my heart heavy, or linger too long in my thoughts.

Today, I’m embracing JOY. In spite of everything that’s going on, in spite of how things might look to the “naked” eye, Life is good.

And today?

Today is another opportunity to make it even better.

I woke up ready for that challenge. I skipped the gym this morning choosing to ease into my day another way. Woke up early and laid in bed for a few minutes, listening to the rain, thinking…smiling. Pulled myself into a seated position, reached over to light the candles on the nightstand, grabbed my journal and let silence serenade me while I wrote out my thoughts.

Ran myself a nice bubble bath and let myself soak while candlelight danced across the bathroom walls to some soothing music. Treated myself to yogurt, fresh fruit and acai tea for breakfast. Got dressed, pulled on some sassy sandals (yes, even in the rain. Ha!), some funky accessories, glossed my lips, ran my fingers through the kinky strands of my hair and declared myself beautiful. Yes I did. Hell, felt so good I just might repeat the process tomorrow. LOL

Life is short.

Much too short to let ourselves be unnecessarily burdened with stuff that doesn’t matter in the long run.

That’s where my head is today.

And so, I decree upon this 9th day in May in the year 2008 that my highest intention is to BE GOOD TO ME.

I’d say I’m well on my way. And you know what?

Not only does it feel GOOD….it feels RIGHT.

“Happy BE GOOD TO ME DAY!”

In JOY,
*~* Jayy *~*

A former babysitter in the Chesterfield County recently petitioned the court to allow her to serve the rest of her jail term at home…under House Arrest.

A young child died in this woman’s custody.

She put the child in his crib/playpen. She didn’t want him standing up (I guess she thought he’d hurt himself trying to get out of the crib when she wasn’t watching) so…

She then placed a board of some kind across the top of the crib/playpen.

She then placed a thiry-pound dog crate on top of the board which was across the top of the crib/playpen.

The child somehow got his head/neck caught under all of that crap and he suffocated.

*Sigh*

The babysitter, convicted of involuntary manslaughter in the death of the 16-month old child, received a 12 month jail sentence. TWELVE months.

*S-I-G-H*

Elizabeth Noakes, the babysitter, says she wants to serve out the rest of her sentence from home because “JAIL IS TAKING A TOLL ON HER HEALTH”.

Somebody smack the “shiggidity” outta that woman and tell her this: IMAGINE THE TOLL THAT DEATH HAS TAKEN ON THIS CHILD.
Ugh!

Well, at least she didn’t ask to have the sentence overturned.

Idjit.

Seriously.

Stuff like this? Makes my teeth ITCH.

Hmmm….word has it that in her recently released memoirs, “Audition”, Barbara Walters let it all hang out till it dragged the ground. The book has been called “explosive”. Interesting.

I caught her interview on Oprah. Am I surprised that she wrote such a book? Her memoirs? No. Am I surprised by some of the things she shared? A little. What I found most interesting are the things I’m sure made most folks stand up and take notice.

1. Her take on the whole deal with Star Jones Reynolds. Here’s what I don’t get – Barbara positions herself as this woman of integrity, a truth-teller. And she sits on national TV and lies for/with Jones? Over something like weight-loss surgery (oops! I meant pilates and portion control)? I don’t get that. If that’s the lie story Jones’ wanted to tell so be it but I wouldn’t have put my integrity on the lie for what folks already knew as a bold-faced lie. AND my :”friends” would know better than to ask me to lie in the first place.

2. Her take on the whole deal with Rosie. Again, Barbara says she went along with what O’Donnell wanted as far as her feud with Donald Trump. Why? What da hell? I can understand why Trump contacted Walters when the first “shot” was fired — it’s her show AND he and Walters are friends. I understand why Walters tried to squash it. But after that? I would have told O’Donnell she was on her own. “You f*d it up, you clean it up.”

3. Her affair with a married African-American senator. Not sure what surprises me more – the fact that she had an affair…or the fact that the man involved was African-American. And was it just me or did she appear to still be a bit goo-goo eyed when talking about the former Senator? I know this affair was a surprise to most people but it wasn’t as “undercover” as most of us think which is another reason Walters ended the affair.

An interesting interview. Pretty “fluffy” though. *shrug* I was a bit put off by the fact that Walters’ kept saying “I didn’t think we were going to go there” or “I’d like NOT to talk about that”. WTH? What did Walters *THINK* she was going to talk about?! I know she’s “Barbara Walters” but be for real. Sheesh!

Oh, and the “sistah” moment between Walters and Winfrey as they both declared that – even though they’d each had an affair with a married man – they have never been anyone’s “mistress”. Um. Ok. As if any other name that people attach to that type of relationship makes it better. Whateva.

Walters has led a most interesting life – from her affair, to the tumultuous “The View”, her family history and her career in journalism. I’m certainly not surprised she wrote her memoirs – I’m sure she’s been approached many times over to do just that. Walters admits that she was reluctant because in addition to writing about the hard climb she had in the field of journalism, she’d have to also open up about her personal life. Well…I’d say she definitely went there.

AND…ya’ll know Ms. Star Jones’ Reynolds was NOT happy with the Oprah interview or the book. According to US magazine, Reynolds had this to say,

“It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book,” Jones told Us. “It speaks to her true character.”

Star? Baby…Sistah…Girl…

I say this to you from a place of love: LET.IT.GO. Seriously.

Yesterday’s post was about replacing my need to understand with the ability to go with the flow and enjoy life as it comes. About how my mind wanders down that familiar road, “What’s this about?”, when I already know – clearly (or clearly enough).

Honestly, I’ve been “here” before – although the “landscape” is much richer, more beautiful this time around. I’m definitely handling it better now than in the past. Do questions like “What’s this really about?”, “Why me?”, “Why now?” still enter my mind? Yes.

Instead of trying to wrap my mind around those questions and wrestle answers to the ground, I shake it off. It doesn’t matter. What it’s about is enjoying what unfolds. Embracing life. Letting life be good FOR me AND good TO me. Without looking for guarantees. AND without my “crutch”. You know – “the other shoe”.

There’ve been situations in my life I didn’t enjoy fully because I was waiting for the other shoe to fall. So many blessings I pushed away thinking they weren’t meant for me or because I didn’t know how long they’d last.

Do you know how hard it is to truly LIVE your life while holding your breath? Not going deeper because you didn’t have a guarantee or a safety net? Feeling that at any moment, someone would knock on the door to repossess whatever piece of goodness you have? Classic case of SPIRITUALLY “LIVING BELOW MY MEANS”. None of us are meant to live that way. None of us.

This situation? I know what it’s about: growth, stretching, learning, enjoying the moment. Transparency.

Being who I am and watching who moves closer, who moves away, AND LETTING THEM.

It’s about SURRENDER. TRUST. FAITH. And JOY. Unmistakable, unshakeable JOY.

Surrender ain’t easy. Especially when you’ve had to fight for whatever you have. I was in that fight years ago, wearing myself out grasping something that apparently didn’t want to be “held”. The more I fought to hold on, the more slippery it became. And I was exerting all the energy. I pulled out an old journal and came across this quote: “Let Go and Let God.” We’ve all heard that before, probably even repeated it to folks a time or two. Can’t say I’ve always connected with it. But that day I did. The full quote that I read was this:

I did just that - I let go. I shed some tears. Letting go was scary. I cried, said my goodbyes and moved into the next phase: “Let God”. I’ve not been disappointed yet.

How did I surrender? There’s a level of “being tired” that runs spirit-deep and will zap all your energy, scramble your thoughts…the whole nine. It is NOT pretty. I saw it coming and knew what I was clinging to wasn’t worth it. More importantly, I knew I was worth more. Truthfully, that situation wasn’t what I needed OR what I wanted. It was simply “FAMILILAR”. A ‘rut’ masquerading as a ‘comfort zone’ – again. But familiarity ain’t love. It ain’t a relationship. It ain’t trust. It ain’t “knowing”. Hell, sometimes “familiarity” ain’t even “Familiar” enough!

I decided then and there to give up the need to figure it all out. “Knowing” didn’t always work in my favor. I stopped trying to control things. I gave up the need to be right in exchange for being heard, honored, respected.

I pushed myself to go with the flow. Stepping back, observing, listening, being detached. Does that mean I didn’t go into situations “hoping” for a certain outcome? No. I still “hoped”; I just remained open to however the situation played out.

I stopped resisting HOW things showed up, accepting them as they came. Took myself (and others) much less seriously. Invited myself to get over myself a few times (encouraged some other folk to do likewise LOL). Laughed a lot. Let myself just be open to life.

I challenge myself every day – every single day – to commit to what life is asking of me, what life is bringing to me, to trust that it’s meant for me and that it would be whatever it was meant to be for as long as it was meant to be.

Getting to this place has been quite a journey. It’s not over. But I can honestly and joyfully say that I love me some LIFE right about now. Even in the midst of twists/turns and not “understanding”.

How beautiful is that?

I was driving home yesterday when a wave of “What’s-this-about-and-why-so-intense?” hit me. I let it ride in the passenger seat for a minute. Then I popped the sunroof and invited it to get out…and stay out. I turned up the music, hit cruise control and let myself relax in the yummy-ness of my thoughts.

I’d say it was a good GREAT day.

Live Intentionally!
*~* J *~*

By nature I am very analytical. VERY. To the point that, between the end of one sentence and the beginning of another, in my head, I’ve already broken down the conversation, found the “real” issue and formulated the resolution in my head. LOL

Every once in a while, being THAT analytical really gets in the way. See, I have this *thing* about understanding situations. For real. I would turn a situation over and over until I felt like I understood it. I remember telling people that my thing was I didn’t have to like a situation or agree with it as long as I could understand it. Ha!

I’m learning now that sometimes, even understanding a situation isn’t necessary. It’s not. Some things aren’t meant for me to understand. At all. Ever. Some things can only be understood in retrospect. And sometimes? Sometimes I simply have to learn to go with the flow.

Today I’m having one of those “go with the flow” moments. Well, it’s not *just* today. It’s a “go with the flow SITUATION”. Yep, the whole darn situation. So you know that requires an extra dose of “get-out-of-my-own-way”. LOL

Don’t get me wrong. It’s a good situation, a very good situation…actually it’s D-E-L-IC-I-O-U-S. Yet, my mind tends to want to wander down that path asking ‘what is this about’ and in this case, I don’t need to know. Well, truth is, I already know.** What I *need* to do is simply enjoy it. For what it is. At this moment in time. And what it is right now is beautiful. Simply beautiful.

The kind of beautiful that has you sitting at a stop light with that silly smile on your face. You know the one - the one that makes other people smile when they see it on your face and then they have no idea why THEY are smiling.

The kind of beautiful that has you humming something pretty without realizing it until someone asks you the name of the song.

The kind of beautiful that makes YOU feel beautiful…from the inside out.

The kind of beautiful that makes you realize that nothing beyond this moment matters right now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow…just today, these tender moments.

Because today? This moment?
This is where something beautiful is planted.

Because today? This moment?
This is where something beautiful will bloom. Be nurtured. Thrive. Become what it’s meant to be.

Because….today is THAT day.
The day that something beautiful is born.

Live from your soul,
*~* Jayy *~*