Come this time tomorrow, my family will be planted front and center in the stadium at my high school…watching my nephew D (“Da Dynasty”) take that walk across the stage and grab hold of his high school diploma.

Lawd! Just typing that makes me teary-eyed.

When they say “Time flies”, they ain’t NEVA lied.

I remember his parents bringing that little bundle of future badness home from the hospital.

All I can do now is shake my head and smile. That kid cracks me up. Most of the time. Er’y now and then…he gets a li’l beside himself. And needs a quick “reminder”…or two.

Yep, “Da Dynasty” is heading off to college this Fall. A college selected him and he selected back. Before tomorrow’s festivities begin, we’re sitting down to review his financial aid packet. That kid got $22K in grants/scholarships on a $26K bill and both he and his mama had the NERB to ask me “is that good?” Um…HELL YEAH!! And it’s renewable for the entire four years, as long as he maintains his GPA? Da hell you think??

So while they scratching their head, worrying over the $4K, I’m celebrating. Cause it was a l-o-n-g climb to this point and I’ve learned to take my moments where I find them. And baby, finding just such a moment at the foot of $22K in funds for college is DEFINITELY the right time.

I’m thinking that before the rest of the crew assembles tonight, he and I will spend a little time talking (translation: “I’ll talk to him while he’s detailing my car”).

I’ve got my list of names of “alleged” graduates that I’m gonna check against the graduation bulletin tomorrow. At the start of the school year, I went to his convocation ceremony. I told D & my band of “adopted” nephews that I better see each and every one of them standing in that same line, reaching for diplomas come the end of May. Guess what? Times up.

It’s gonna be a tear-filled event. I’m gonna sit on the row BEHIND his mother and his grandmas. Maybe I’ll sit next to “Uncle Playa”. Ha!

Live JOYFULLY~
*~* MsJayy *~*

So, Will Smith was on Ellen Degeneres the other day. Ellen, who’s planning to marry her partner, Portia de RossiDegrassi, noted the Smith and his wife (Jada Pinkett Smith in case ya didn’t know) have been married for 10 years which is HUGE for Hollywood. (And becoming “huge” for the “rest” of the world as well.)

Hearing either Mr. or Mrs. Smith talk about how they make marriage work for them is not a new thing. Will’s comments Monday had me smiling and nodding my head…kinda like the first time I heard “Parents Just Don’t Understand”.

Here’s what he said:

“What I found is divorce just can’t be an option,” the actor explained. “It’s really that simple. And I think that’s the problem with L.A. – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success for [Jada] and I is that we just removed the other options. We’re like listen, we’re going to be together one way or the other so we might as well try to be happy.”

Love it! LOVE.IT!

I do think some folk take marriage, relationships, commitment much too lightly.

Some years ago, a friend and I were shopping with another friend who was getting married. Again. We were picking out bridal headpieces. The ink on this chick’s divorce had barely dried before she was heading down the aisle again. Mind you, she got married straight out of high school the first time and to say that her first marriage was “abusive” would be an incredible understatement.

I didn’t get the feeling that she really WANTED to get married again. I didn’t even get the feeling that she was in love with the guy. I don’t think she knew how to tell him no. Don’t act shocked – it happens more often than you think (that’s a whole other blog post). Anywho, she was being very lackadaisical about the whole deal and then she said, “Well, I figure if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just get another divorce.”

See? Too easy to exercise that option. Instead of opting out before it became legal. And I’ve heard that same kind of sentiment from other people about to walk down the aisle.

Since his appearance on Ellen, I’ve heard people criticize what Will said, saying that “oh so if they miserable as hell, they just gonna stay together and be miserable.”

Check YOUR “filters”. I don’t think either Will or Jada are advocating anybody be miserable.

Can I tell ya’ll something?

“Miserable” does NOT sneak up on people.

I’m serious. You don’t wake up one day and realize that you’re “miserable”. You feel it coming. It festers. It grows over time…if you aren’t proactive enough to head it off.

The trick is learning to get in front of “miserable”, yank up the welcome mat and get it to keep moving?

THAT’S what I think Will’s point was – divorce “can” be an option – but it should be the LAST option…not the first choice.

Know what else I liked about his “Options” statement?

It’s transferable to other areas of your life..

Like…
…how much farther along would you be towards whatever your dream is…f you removed the option to do anything BUT succeed?

That book would be written (*ahem*), that movie made, that line of clothing launched, that business opened, that child on the dean’s list, that money saved, that home purchased, that degree hanging on the wall, that weight lost AND maintained.

Make no mistakes about it – having options is a good thing.

The tricky part comes in knowing WHEN to exercise that option…AND knowing WHICH option to exercise.

Live DELICIOUSLY!
*~* MsJayy *~*

I.HAVE.NO.WORDS.

They say a picture paints a thousand words. This picture (particularly the second one) must have swallowed my words whole.

Check this out:

Enjoy the tunes….

Enjoy your weekend! Be safe!

*~* MsJayy *~*

*Sigh*

Seriously.

*S-I-G-H*

So…who’s got the patent on THIS?

Sweet Jesus part the sky! Take me higher Lord!

Sad thing is…I know someone who would ABSOLUTELY do something like this…complete with making it “stereophonic”. Shhhhhhh! LOL

Clearly a case where SOMEBODY ANYBODY shoulda just said NO!

How do I make the best use of “SPACE” in my life?

That’s the question at the forefront of my mind today.

How do I make the best use of “SPACE” in my life?

Saturday, I had all KINDS of technological meltdowns in my house…cellphone, ‘inna-net’, cable, landline. I took that little bit of “technological turbulence” as a sign that my time and energy should be focused elsewhere and so, I got off my butt and got some housework done.

Cleared the hallway, my nightstand, the kitchen, 1/2 bath, etc.

Ahhhh! Space where there used to be…”stuff”. I’m still cleaning (I’m in “deep” cleaning mode or as I like to call it “delayed Spring Cleaning”). Every time I clear a space, no matter how small, I feel myself breathe more easily. I love having “space” (though, sadly, there are times when you’d never be able to tell it. *Sigh* What can I say? I’m a work in progress…)

As I cleared my nightstand of “stuff”, I thought, “How can I use this space?”. I didn’t want it empty per see - just not cluttered.

I thought about how that space made me feel and figured I’d put something there that would enhance that feeling. So now, I have a clean space holding things that help me stay centered, that speak peace to me - candles (big surprise right? LOL), a mini water fountain, a plant, my journal (with the requisite PURPLE ink pen), and whatever book I happen to be reading at the moment. Perfect.

I move on to other spaces, clearing them of clutter. As I move through each room, I find myself asking “How can I use this space? How do I make the most of this space?”. Various things come to mind - candles, pictures, plants, etc.

And then I catch myself - it’s not necessary to fill every “empty” space. Some of those spaces are meant to be “empty”.

Sometimes “Space” is meant to be “empty” for aesthetic reasons - maybe it’s in a high traffic area, or an out-of-the-way area.

Sometimes “space” is meant to be “empty” because the ‘thing’ you truly want to occupy that “space” isn’t ready yet. Or maybe YOU aren’t ready yet.

Sometimes “space” is meant to be “empty” because you have to “GROW” into it.

I remind myself of these things as I clear another space.

And in that moment?, I have to wonder….

Does this peekaboo revelation apply to my cleaning/decluttering?

Or…to my life in general?

Live from the Inside Out,
*~* MsJayy *~*

Today I’m reminded of that gospel song that Carlton Pearson used to sing. You know the one with the mother of the church always asking him if he’s “Yet holding on” and when he says yes, she says “Well, just keep on keepin’ on then Baby”.

…I’m yet holding on….

…guess I just gotta keep on keepin on then.

Live Graciously,
MsJayy

*SIGH* I think I may need to get my eyes checked. ‘Cept…I just had them checked last month AND walked out with new ’scripts. Hmmm…well, then either I need to clearly clean all the “sleep” from my eyes before I try to read…OR…I need to stop sleeping with my contacts in. (Prolly both.)

Anywho…I was skimming through emails early this morning and came across THIS piece of “psuedo-spam” with the subject line “Are Past Life Romances Affecting You Today?”. Me and my icky-contact-wearing-crust-in-my-eye self read it as this: “Are Past Romances Affecting You Today?”.

Either way? I hope not.

See what I called it a “HORRORSCOPE”?

It’s only “Baggage” if you’re willing to carry it. Remember that, ‘K?

It’s only “Baggage” if YOU are willing to carry it.

Me?

I left it where it lay.

I moved on.

AND…

I let go.

*Sigh*

Enjoy the music…and the rest of your weekend!

Live DELICIOUSLY!

*~* MsJayy *~*

** This was actually written Saturday but um…see…what had happened was…my neighbor was fencing in her backyard & spliced MY cable line. Don’t. Ask. Please. Thank you. I’m actually “publishing” it from work (Shhhhh!) and now I’m scratching my head cause I can’t “see” the video & can’t remember what song it is. Oh wait - Adriana Evans, “Calling Me”. I wish I could *hear* that song right about now. *SIGH* **

Welcome to Friday my lovelies!

What is “Be-Good-to-Me-Friday”? WHY “Be-Good-to-Me_Friday”?

It’s certainly NOT because I’m ONLY good to “me” on Fridays. Trust AND believe.

I used to send a motivational email to some friends/coworkers weekly and every Friday, I’d close it with something like “Find some time to be good to YOU this weekend”. We get so caught up in doing what we need to do for our families, our jobs, our friends, etc. Some of us give until we’re tapped out. When push comes to shove, we push OUR needs aside and ride to someone else’s rescue. We shove what OUR wants aside to keep the peace.

(Let’s add THAT to the 2008 Moratorium list too. That whole thing about putting ourselves last, not treating ourselves as a priority.)

Years ago, someone I was dating called me selfish. “WE” hadn’t made any plans for the evening BUT “I” had made plans…with myself, to give myself some much needed “quality” time. Dude told me I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. LOL While that might have been true, it certainly wasn’t for the reason HE cited. For me, the BEST way to be in a relationship is to know what you need and go about getting those needs met in a honest, straightforward manner. That includes knowing when you need “ME” time and claiming it - without explanation or apology.

With all the things we have going on in our lives, it can be easy to get caught up in “movement”. The “doing” of some thing. Which doesn’t always equate to making strides, getting somewhere…progress. “Moving” doesn’t always equate to progress. Just ask a rocking horse. (*giggle*) Sometimes the best way to move forward is simply to stop. To be still. To rest. To recharge. Refill your cup.

You can’t give from an empty well.

So today, I’m taking some time off. Taking time to honor me. Why? Cause I kept working at “it” - at life, at being better, at being open, at being honest…at being me. Cause I didn’t let the nonsense knock me off my square. Cause I didn’t struggle with or against any thing that happened my way – work, the back pain, the plumbing issue, the “minor” gas leak, the personal drama, etc. None of it. Cause when I look back over the past week, I’m farther along that I was at the start of the week.

You don’t need a rearview mirror if you’re not moving.

Progress - positive, forward moving progress.

It’s been an interesting week. Things pretty much came at me the same way they did before (chaotic AND crazy) but this time, I showed up differently. That was the key. And that is the thing that has me excited, encouraged and most importantly, empowered to repeat the process.

So this weekend, I’m holding myself open. Open to whatever possibilities come my way. Open to what Life brings and more importantly, HOW Life brings it. Holding myself in a space that Life will read as open, accepting, and maybe even vulnerable. The vulnerable part is my challenge.

It’s not easy to hold yourself in a space that leaves you feeling “open”, “exposed”, “vulnerable” but sometimes that’s exactly what Life expects of us, what Life NEEDS us to do. Life – the one that I’m destined to lead – is worth it. And so am I. So are you. We just have to get past ourselves.

The day is in high gear. Things are…things. But it’s all good.

I’m sitting outside the fray, above the chaos. Because even in the midst of madness, life still tastes sweet. Actually, life “TASTES LIKE SOME MORE”.

Slow down long enough this weekend to at least check in with yourself. Feed YOUR soul. Refill the cup. Find ways to nurture YOU. Honor the person you are. Make room for the person you’re becoming.

Enjoy!
*~* MsJayy *~*