In the course of your travels this week, if you happen to see my patience just chilling in the cut, would you very politely tell her to get her arse back home?!?!

*Sigh*

I used to consider myself a very patient person. Extremely patient. I’d like to think I’m *still* that person. But some days….I’on know ya’ll.

Like last week. D gets a letter from one of the colleges that he’s interested in. They want a signed copy of his parent(s)’ tax return. Why? The information was submitted on FAFSA which goes DIRECTLY to the school. AND…in this age of electronic filing, there is no such thing as a “signed” copy. So I call to inquire “WTH?” According to the young’un who answered the phone, they MUST have a signed copy. Again I ask, “Of what? It was electronically filed.” To which said child who apparently just WORKS at the college, not ATTENDS the college, says “It still had to be signed for them to submit it.”

Now me is mighty confuzzled (confused AND puzzled) wondering if this child thought someone had magic powers and whatnot. Hmmm…so I ask how she thought that might actually happen. Seriously. How do you sign a document submitted electronically? She stutters. Sputters. Says the form had to be signed, gives me the place on the form where the signature goes and starts talking about the spouse’s signature. Now who said anything about a spouse? I take a deep breath. Close my eyes. And through clenched teeth I say, “Child - Get.Your.Boss.NOW.Please.Thank.You.” Stressing each and every consonant, chewing hard on the vowels. Trying to hum in my head while I waited.

Boss gets on the phone. I ask the same question – if taxes are submitted electronically, how does one suppose a parent would then send the school a signed copy? AND why is it needed when the information was submitted via FAFSA (mind you, they ASK if everything on the form is accurate before you hit *send*)? AND if the Federal and State governments were willing to accept said documents without a physical signature, why wasn’t that good enough for the school? Was I speaking a foreign language? I’m serious. Dang if the boss didn’t get all twitterpated. *Sigh*

FINALLY, after having to speak to them s-l-o-w, we agreed that what they wanted (which is quite stoopid if ya ask me) is for the parent(s) to sign a copy of the form that was submitted electronically and fax it to the school.

What a colossal waste of time. For real. A waste of precious minutes I will never get back. Just sacrificing brain cells all wily nily.

Seriously.

Can I tell you that twere it moi, this school would definitely have fallen to the BOTTOM of my list of choices. Hell, they would have fallen completely OFF my list. Mmm hmmm. Just like that *snap of fingers*.

Why? Cause I’on do stoopid. Not on purpose. And definitely not on da regular. It just doesn’t look good on me. Trust and believe.

At any rate, if ya’ll see my patience, tell her she needs to get her laid-back arse home befo’ da streetlights come on. Shoot, somebody just asked me to do some rework on something I’ve already “reworked” 6 times while waiting on answers/info that only THEY can deliver. And they say to me, “WE have to be done by Friday.” Looka-heah-Playa…I WAS DONE. You da one dragging ya arse.

So if you roll up on Ms. Thing? If she ain’t home soon, send her down to the lock-up. And tell her not to come without a 20oz Mt.Dew (um, make that a 2-liter), a bag of Cheetos, a journal & something to write with. Oh, and let her know that I came this close to getting in somebody’s bee-hind. She needs to stop her lollygagging. And it’s Monday morning too? Uh uh. She gon’ need to do better. And do so with da quickness!

:::mumbling to self while TRYING to chant:::

Be well!

Jayy