Has this ever happened to you? You finally decided – deep down inside where it really matters most…deeper than cellular level – what you really and truly want and you commit yourself to getting there. You start taking consistent actions toward that goal, making progress…some days big steps, some days small…but still - progress. You finally are bold enough to say to yourself and to others that THIS is what I want and I’m going for it! I’m talking Serious bidness!

Just as you get into swing of things, God (or Life, the Universe, the Creator or whatever spiritual force you recognize) says to you, “Put up or Shut Up.” And then turns around and challenges you by putting what you SAY you want directly or indirectly in your path? OR challenges how much you truly want what you SAY you want by throwing you a curveball?

I can honestly say that YES, He has done just that to me. As recently as yesterday. LOL

I had a couple of ‘minor’ (in retrospect only) health scares recently. Neither of which was the worst situation a doctor can tell you but for someone who’s never had any health issues, it was a bit much. To be honest, one of them freaked me out for a minute. (To those who know, thank you for praying. Keep ‘em coming – I’m at the edge of the woods, but not completely out.) The other situation had to do with a relationship, a friendship and um…Let me say it this way – sometimes you need to go slow, sometimes you just need to dive in and swim like crazy. I was considering letting go of something that I’d just gotten up enough courage to hold on to and I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t. I don’t. I backed up a little…moved myself out of the way so that things could just “BE” how and what they were meant to “BE”.(And on THAT subject, that’s ALL you need to know. That and the fact that I did get confirmation to hold on just a little longer LOL)

Before the affirmation and confirmation, I found myself standing on the edge of that old mental cliff. You know the one…right off of “Woe-is-me-hill”? Next to “I’m-sick-and-tired-bluff”? After you get off of “When-is-it-gonna-be-my-turn” Boulevard?” after you take the “Heavy-Sigh” ramp?

I’m standing there remembering the goals that I set for myself coming into 2008. How determined I was (am) to do things in a new way, to be about ACTION. I’ve been very consistent in some areas, not so much in others (BUT still better than I was). I was on a roll for a while and then…I let “stuff” creep in and challenge my intentions. And for a minute, I let “stuff” take the reigns.

But as I was on the edge of the mental cliff thinking, I realized those things – those health issues, that hold on/let go scenario - were simply God’s way of telling me “Put Up…or Shut Up”. And I’m not mad with Him in the least for bringing it to me the way He did. Sometimes it has to be “in ya face” (or “in MY face” as it were). I’d just finished telling myself that fear had cost me the last thing I was ever gonna be willing to pay. Enter in God, the Universe, etc to call my bluff…to up the ante…to tell me to PUT UP…or SHUT UP.

Ahhhh, but see, the tables have turned. Life is much too short for the nonsense and while I know I’m make many fashion changes in this life, I don’t ever, ever want to wear an ensemble of regret, accessorized by “what-might-have-been” that was manufactured by that crappy a** designer FEAR.

So now I’m asking myself, how much do I really want to change my health situation? How much deeper am I willing to go given what I know now? How firm am I willing to stand in my commitment to me, to my health and relationships in the face of whatever “Stuff” happens to show up? How am I going to weigh what truly matters most when “stuff” around me tries to convince me that it’s all priority?

DO I REALLY WANT WHAT I *SAY* I WANT…OR DO I JUST WANT THE LUXURY OF *SAYING* IT?

AM I WILLING TO GO OUT ON THAT LIMB…AGAIN?

The answer is YES. Just YES. By nature and career choice, I am a “HOW” kind of person. But you know what I learned climbing off the mental cliff? The answer to “HOW” is simply “YES”. No hesitation, no reservation, no wondering about the details. Simply a strong, unwavering YES. Say YES – from the heart, from the soul – and “how” will fall into place.

THIS my friends, THIS is where the rubber meets the road…the treadmill…the elliptical…the weights….the risk, vulnerability….

Me? I’m in it to win it. I’m playing for keeps. I’m playing for my life.

In more ways than one.

Live SoulFULLY!

*~* J *~*