Yesterday while working in my pile of “Career Playdoh” (ie., my new “work opportunity), I found myself a tad bit frustrated. I’m still “green” but apparently some folks are straight color-blind. That’s cool. They can’t possible be harder on me that I am on myself. Trust and believe. (If we could convert that to money, I’d be able to retire permanently living the lifestyle I dream of AND bail us out of the mortgage crisis!)

So, I stopped long enough to catch my breathe. I slowed down and asked myself, “Do I have what I need to succeed?”

Hmmm…the answer? In this instance. N-O.

What comes next?

Laying out my options….

How do I go about getting this elusive SUCCESS FACTOR?

Let’s see…I could….

1. Ask for it. Sometimes folks don’t know what you don’t know. Sometimes folks are busy. Sometimes folks forget. Now, sometimes folks are just ornery, worried about you outshining them, etc. but guess what people? There isn’t always some giant conspiracy. Sometimes you just need to ASK.

2. Tell them what “IT” is. At some point in the game, you’ve asked all the questions you can. You’ve waited on all the answers you can afford to wait on. Sometimes? You just have to TELL them what it is you need and keep it moving.

3. Find it. Every once in a while you have to become an excavator and start digging for information. Sometimes you become a gold medalist at putting together pieces of a puzzle.

4. Create it. Every now and then you simply have to build it yourself. DIY. Seriously. It happens.

5. Go with what you know. One of my favorite sayings is, “Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust that your wings will be built on the way down”. This was a hard thing for me to learn – this ‘go with what you know’. By nature I am not a risk taker. I’m much better at it…NOW…and in some areas of my life, I do it better than in others. Yet, it happens. Waiting until you have it all lined up can cause mucho problemos. You have to learn to take risks, to make the best possible choice based on what information you have at the moment and remain flexible enough to adjust as more information comes up.

6. Whine about it. I EXCEL at this one. For real. Most days, I’m a “recovering” whiner but a potential relapse is just an issue or slight irritation away. LOL

Having lived through a couple of these situations where I would have swore and placed large bets that someone was setting me up, I realized that, in addition to laying out my options and picking one (or a combination of options), I also had to redefine my definition of success. Sometimes the TRUE success is simply in coming out of the struggle wiser. Not necessarily unscathed, not necessarily without having to do some rework…but simply having learned a valuable lesson that you can apply next time.

At the end of the day? MY success is just that: MY success. MY success is in MY hands.

Others may share in it, others may reap the benefits…sometimes others might take the credit.

Doesn’t matter.

MY success is up to ME.

And if I’m clear about what success looks like for me? And I get there on MY own terms? Regardless of who might take credit or share in the credit? It’s still success. AND…it’s STILL mine.

Believe that!

Live DELICIOUSLY!

*~* J *~*

Have you ever seen “CRAZY” upclose and personal? Ever seen “CRAZY” on steroids?

Seriously. It’s like they pipe that crap in through the ventilation system.

*Sigh*

“Hold your PEACE – Hide your PAIN – Heighten your PRAISE”

That was my mantra Monday. And “It’s almost payday.” And an oldie but a goodie – “It’s all about the Benjamins Baby!”

You know, “CRAZY” wears through some stuff. Stuff that folk seem to think of as unbreakable. You know that saying, “Black don’t crack”? Hmph. “CRAZY” will split it down to the white meat…with the precision of a scalpel in the capable hands of “Dr. Burke”. (Homage to “Grey’s Anatomy” & Isaiah Washington).

Have you noticed how, as you mature, your wardrobe changes? Things that you used to wear and wear well just don’t work for you anymore? That’s how I’m feeling right now about ‘stress’. I don’t wear it as easily as I used to, as casually, as indifferently. Before I could add it to whatever “life ensemble” I was wearing and not even flinch if it didn’t ‘cooor-di-nate’. I made it look good. But these days? I don’t have the time, patience, or need to make it work. I just don’t.

I know it’s not for me so I don’t even try to pull it on. One thing I’ve learned is, if you’re going to wear it – literally or figuratively – it should enhance you. And that kind of stress? That level of stress? It’s like spandex to me – I can put it on…but Lawd knows I ain’t go no bidness in it. LOL

Today I noticed I was trying on some stress…wearing it real tight up. Seriously. I found myself clinching my jaw many times today. MANY. And each time, I’d force myself through some suspicious looking exercise to get rid of that stress-induced “lock-jaw”. Not a good look at all. Craziness.

I started working out again about a week ago. It was way past time. So, I worked out before heading to the office yesterday. While performing my “pseudo vocal exercises” to work the stress out of my jaw…my body…my mind, I decide to stroll around the office. Well….’member I had said…what I had said bout working out?

See. What had happened was….I realized after my morning workout that I hadn’t stretched enough. So it was a s-l-o-w walk. LOL Still did the trick…but it was s-l-o-w.

Hmmm…I think about a couple of other situations in my life (yep, including the “jaw-tightening one) and realize that maybe…just maybe…I haven’t stretched enough….

For those of you in the Maryland/DC/Virginia area, don’t forget to vote. Good luck to your candidate!

By now you know that ERY’BODY has an opinion on the matter of YOUR vote…but trust and believe, in “matters of opinion”, YOUR OPINION is the only one that MATTERS. Believe that.

Remember: THE ONLY VOTE THAT DOESN’T COUNT IS THE ONE THAT DOESN’T GET CAST!

Update: Got to the polls at 6:10am…I was in my car heading home to have breakfast before 6:30am. Not bad huh? Woulda been quicker but the ladies at the desk checking id need to work out their process. Let’s hope they get it down pat before the crowds hit.

Happy Voting!

Dear Elliptical Machine,
I’ve been watching you. Checking you out on the low-low…seeing how you operate. You shady. Ain’t no other way to describe it – just straight shysty. You just wrong and you know it. Just wrong. WRONG.

With your sneaky little ways…all quiet and unassuming. I’m not falling for it. That’s why I don’t talk to you – I plug in my iPod and put the “ig” on you big time. Cause I’ve seen how you treat folk that try to befriend you – you pull them in all sweet like, let them work up a little sweat then you start whispering in their ear, “Add your arms – grab my poles, push ‘em!”, “Stay with me. Don’t go. Just give me a few more minutes. Don’t stop now – it’s getting good to you”. And befo’ they knowed what had hit them, BAM – you done upped the juice on them and they’re left panting looking all dazed and confused. Uh uh. Not me. Not gonna happen. We are NOT friends. And trust me when I tell you, we don’t have to be – you do what you’re supposed to do and I’ll do what I’m supposed to do. We ain’t even gotta be “friendly” – we can keep this strictly pro-fes-sion-al. Specially since only one of us has skin in the game. (Oh my bad…you do have metal in the game. I should at least recognize that.)

Look a’ heah - I just wanted you to know that I see you. No…I SEE you. I know who and what you are – you are the spawn of satan. You may have won this round but BABY, I got news for you: before it’s all said and done? You my lovely will be nothing more than an overpriced clothes hanger! (Ask ya cousin the step machine!)

Oh yes. It’s on. AND popping. Um, well…my knees are popping right about now but never you mind that. Cause in the end? I win! I’ll give you ya props – right now, you working a sistah ova but the tides are going to change. Remember that I said it. Remember the date cause some time in the not too distant future (I’m praying Lord. LOL), we gon’ have us an anniversary party and celebrate the day (the hour, minute second AND nanosecond) when the tide shifted and you became my flunky.

Oh yes. I mean that. Mmmm hmmmm.

What? See, I’m not gonna keep talking about it. Cause for real for real? I can show you better than I can tell you.

Oh yes. It’s on.

Trust and believe….

….soon as I catch my breaf…..

8 hours of “CONFUSED CHAOS”
x 5 days
————
= 40 hours of “WIDH??!” (translation: What in da he**??!)

15 minute commute home…..check

5 minutes to change into something comfy…check

Bottle of chilled wine….CHECK!! (No I didn’t “stutter, stammer, hesitate, whisper or pause”…I said “BOTTLE” …I meant “BOTTLE” LOL)

Ever seen crazy on steroids? LOL

And can somebody please tell me why the heck “white noise” is so frigging LOUD!?!?! Ya might as well pipe in alternating rock & rap music. Dang!

You know what? Forget the “RELAX, RELATE, RELEASE”….

I’m going skraight fa’ da “RELAX, RELEASE” part cause I’m not gonna “RELATE” to crazy not nay one mo’ minute this week….well not until tomorrow when I hang out with FavCus#1, “Bubbles” & her sidekick.

Happy Weekend!

PS…every sip moves me that much closer to a place like this….

I know, I know…it’s only in my head….for the moment.

I read an article yesterday that talked about how opportunities are all around us, how they show up in our lives all the time. How we’re presented with opportunities to do, be or have whatever we want on a daily basis. And all we have to do? Be prepared. Be ready. When you’re prepared, when you’re ready – you’re ALWAYS at the right place at the right time.

Hmmm…. Interesting.

Are you ready? I know some of you are thinking, “Define ready”. Oh. Maybe that’s just me. Yeah. Right.

Let’s say you get clear, certified, authentic documentation that the opportunity you want most at this moment in your life is going to show up in exactly two minutes.

Are you ready?

One of my uncles used to say a lot of people miss out on things because we’re always “getting ready to get ready” . LOL Always getting ready to do something…getting ready to go to school…getting ready to look for a new job…getting ready to leave that bad relationship…getting ready to lose weight…getting ready to get dressed…

Getting ready to get ready. Always THINKING about doing this, that or the other. Studying it. “Researching.” Always ‘about to’.

Enough. In 2008. E-N-U-F-F. (Personally, I’m adding it to my list of things I’m declaring a MORATORIUM on in 2008.)

So…are you ready? Am I ready?

“Get ready! Get ready! Get ready! “That’s one of TD Jakes’ battle cries. (Don’t know why that popped into my head but there you go!)

Today – and moving forward – I’m challenging myself not to ’simply’ GET READY but to go deeper and simply BE READY. I know, you’re thinking I’m on some “semantical”
tip again. I’m not. For me, there’s a definite difference between “GETTING” ready and “BEING” ready. “Getting” means that you’re still gathering information, still working it through in your mind, still preparing. Still riding the fence. Still anxious, afraid, doubting.

“BEING” means that if the opportunity showed up in the next two minutes, you are in! “BEING ready” means you’re prepared as best you could based on what you know and you are not going to let this chance pass you by because you “might” not know ABC. “BEING ready” means that you trust the knowledge, information, or resources you need to be sharper at your game will show up when you need them.
Sometimes BEING ready isn’t as difficult as we make it out to be. We think we have to have every single angle nailed down, have uncovered all the risks, know every single part of the outcome.

In the past, I missed out on some really great opportunities because I was “getting ready”, or because I wanted to know every detail. Life doesn’t work that way. Whatever opportunity comes your way is not going to wait for you to “get ready” and it certainly isn’t going to wait while you “get ready to get ready”.

Go into the situation with realistic expectations – expect to do your best; expect to learn something new; expect to share something with someone else; expect to grow from the experience; expect to make the best of the situation.

“Getting ready” is training. Learning. Gathering.

“Getting ready to get ready” is procrastination. Pure and simple. Fear. Doubt.

“Being ready” is doing. Applying. Using what’s inside you. BE-ing.

That’s what being ready is all about.

So…are you ready?

Am I?

YES.

Live DELICIOUSLY!
~ J ~

PS. You gotta BE ready for the DELICIOUSNESS of it all! LOL

“You just don’t care do you?”

“You act like you don’t care one way or the other.”

“Don’t none of this matter to you or bother you?”

In some form or fashion, those statements/questions have been asked of me repeatedly over the last twelve months or so. (Hmm, maybe their frequency really hasn’t increased; maybe I’m just noticing it more. That’s neither here nor there though. On with the post…)

Folks call me up or drop by with news about something someone else has said/done that they don’t agree with. News of a choice someone else made. A reaction someone else had that, for whatever reason, seemed “wrong” to the person relaying the information to me.

When they come to me with this news that seems to have them perplexed or upset or worried, I listen. Most of the time. Sometimes I have to stop them upfront cause I know their motives in “sharing” aren’t right. Sometimes I stop them upfront because I simply DON’T care about whatever it is they want to talk about. But um, I digress…

So, they’re sharing this perplexing, upsetting “worration” with me (“worration is what my Granny ‘nem used to call it) and I listen. And then I get back to whatever I need to do. In other words, however I respond is NOT the response they were looking or hoping for so now I’ve ramped up their “worration” factor.

It’s not that I don’t care.

It’s simply that I’ve had to learn to care in a different way.

With all this talk about “going green” and saving energy, I’ve had to look for ways to save energy in my day to day life, beyond what I use in terms of electricity, fuel, etc. I’ve had to find ways to conserve my personal energy. And that means insulating myself from things that truly don’t impact me or don’t affect me the way it appears to impact others.

We had a death in the family recently and I got calls about how some folk didn’t respond this way, or how some folk didn’t seem to care one way or the other.

My response? At the end of the day, what does it matter how anybody responded? Nothing they say/do or undo will change the fact that we’ve lost a loved one. Take it a step further – people don’t grieve in the same way. Take it even deeper – you can’t judge someone else’s reaction to news like that on what YOUR relationship was with the deceased; you don’t know what their relationship was like.

Another friend Q called me “worried to def” that a mutual friend was about to “ruin her life”. Um. Ok. A bit melodramatic but I’ll bite. I started listening to her tale of woe and stopped her about ¼ in. Here’s the deal –I’m sure our mutual friend appreciates Q’s concern (to some degree) but at the end of the day, it’s HER life. It’s HER choice. Nobody else has to live with it. Q was wound up and my response didn’t help her any. She goes off (a bit too loud for my taste) talking about how “THIS ISN”T WHAT SHE WANTS!” Ok. BUT…it IS what SHE chose. She made the choice, she has to learn to live inside that choice, however that look looks to her. Would I have chosen that option if I were in her place? Don’t know. I don’t think so but again, I’m NOT her, I’m NOT in that position so how much time or energy do I need to give to the situation? I certainly wish her well and as her friend, I’m here if she needs me…calm, cool, and collected.

So please, if you think I don’t care - you’re wrong. (Well, in most cases.)

It’s not that I don’t care. I simply care in a different way.

Ever have one of those days (or weeks…or months…) when you could clearly see through people?

Could tell who was talking in circles…?
Who was talking loud and saying nothing…?
Had their “spin cycle” on high. Constantly….?
Talked a good game but hugged the bench with a death grip…?

Ever been in the midst of one such day (or week….or month…) and realize that it wasn’t you seeing THROUGH them but rather you seeing YOU?

As in the other person is merely reflecting YOU and yo stuff back to you? Where what you *thought* (or told yourself…or better yet, tried to convince yourself) was a “TRANSPARENCY” was actually a “REFLECTION”?

One of those days where you’re like “Morris Day”…and God is your “Jerome”…complete with that ornate mirror?

*sigh*

Don’t mind me…

….Life under construction….

Live DELICIOUSLY!
J

Recently, I had a conversation with some folks that spanned all kinds of topics and somehow landed on the fact that Oprah Winfrey is getting her own TV network. Personally, I’m happy for her – if she likes it, then I love it for her. (You might need to be old skool to get that saying.) I’m very curious to see how it unfolds, what she’s going to bring to the table.

Of course there were some detractors in the group with the usual moaning and groaning. “Who she think she is?”, “She already has a TV show, radio show, a magazine, etc. How much more does she need?”, “How much money does any one person need?”

*Sigh*

Not long ago, I saw part of a story about Floyd “Pretty Boy” Mayweather. Someone asked a person in his camp why Floyd kept pushing…”how much money does he need to make?”. The trainer looked at the person as if to say, “You too stupid for words” and asked them this, “How come nobody ever asks Bill Gates when he’s gonna stop making money?”

Ha! Ain’t that the truth! Does anybody ever ask that of Bill Gates or Rupert Murdoch or Alan Greenspan, etc.? No. Hmmmm….

In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter to us if someone is “still” making paper? The person in my conversation acted as if she was personally put out by Oprah expanding her media empire. Why? Were you trying to get that network for yourself? Uh huh. Didn’t think so.

Newsflash: it don’t cost you nothing to dream. Matter of fact, if you were to evict some of those people and jacked up thoughts that live rent free in YOUR head, you might have more room to dream. The beauty of a dream is that, until you’re ready, until you want to, no one has to even know about it. You can make it as big as you want, color it as boldly as you want, dress it up any way you want…and who – other than you – can say whether it’s right or wrong? If you invest the time and energy in building it in your head so that you’re clear about it, so that you’re sure, so that you’re unshakeable (not inflexible), when your dream hits the light of day, nothing that anybody else says to you, about you, around you will knock you off your path.

What gets me most about this conversation and others like it is that people who don’t have a dream or choose to dream inside a tiny little prescribed box seem to get really agitated when other folks explode their dreams and let their vision for their life run free without borders.

I used to be that person. Yep. Some days that’s hard to believe…other days, I simply pray for an end to the ‘relapse’. It was as if the edges of their dream was literally pricking me. And in some ways it was. It was challenging me to dream my own dream, to let it breathe, to flesh it out in my head then on paper before putting energy into giving birth to it and living it out loud.

I used to think that part of the problem was that we don’t teach or encourage people to dream. Or maybe we don’t challenge them to dream bigger. I still think that’s true to a certain degree. But maybe what’s really missing is that we don’t teach them or encourage them to actually bring their dream to life.

One thing I’ve learned and I share with people all the time is that it isn’t so much what you’re looking at, it’s what you see. I believe that. Some folk have let things in their lives blind them, to leave them with spiritual cataracts, to abort their dreams. Don’t let that be you. My greatest fear in this life is getting to the end of it, finding that I didn’t live it to the fullest and knowing that the reason behind that was ME.

Get your vision checked. And then remove the boundaries of fear that are stifling your dream. Stretch yourself. Challenge yourself. If you can accomplish your “dream” with easy, you aren’t dreaming big enough. Remember, “Dream a Little Dream” ain’t nothing but a song lyric.

Dream big. Dream bold. Dream beautifully. Dream in color. Dream out loud.

Live DELICIOUSLY!

J