**Shameless plug: Hop over to my friend Peggy Eldridge-Love’s blog for “A Minute with Author Jackie Young”. Don’t forget to leave ya girl a few comments.
Peggy Eldridge-Love
Now…where were we? Oh yes…**

It’s Friday! It’s Friday! La-la-la…it’s FRIDAY!!

Can you tell that I’m EXCITED to see this workweek come to an end?!?!

All in all, it’s been a good week. A few bumps here and there but such is life.

As we close out the work week, let me share with you a few things that made me smile and one thing that has me absolutely, over-the-top, straight up giddy.

Wednesday night, Princess So Fabulous and I had a lovely conversation about their impending move. They’re moving to a new house next month, not too far from where they live now but I’ve only been there once. And of course my brother went through all these sidestreets and whatnot. Sooooo, the Princess is freaking out because her dad hasn’t given me directions - as she put it, “this isn’t one of those FBI-witness-relocation-thingies”. LOL That kid cracks me up.

I had a few minutes to talk with my nephew “Peanut”, the four-year old. When he first came to my house, he was really concerned that I lived alone. His little eyes got all big and he kept saying, “Aunt Jackie, you stay here by yourself?” Yes. “For real?” Yes. “You gonna stay here when we leave?” LOL So we’re talking and he asks me again, “Aunt Jackie, you’re at home?” Yes. “It’s night time.” Yes. “You gonna stay there tonight.” Yes. “Wow”. Then he asks me, “Aunt Jackie, can I see you later?” which, translated into “Peanut-ese” means “can you come to Uncle BigBro#4’s house this weekend?”. It made me smile because, while he’s used to me coming to visit, I think this is the first time HE ever asked me himself. He even offered to let me use his ‘puter.

Now…on to Dat Dude D…the high school senior. When he was about 5 and wanted to have a “real” conversation, he’d always start the topic by saying, “Auntie, we need to talk serious bidness”. LOL He was sooo serious, his little brow all furrowed, hands going all over the place while he explained his ideas or issues. He called me the other day to talk about some college stuff and started the conversation with, “Auntie, we need to talk serious bidness”. I cracked up. He didn’t remember it but I sure did. That and the fact that whenever he, my mom and I were around and he’d ask a question, if I answered it, he would always turn to my mom and say, “Is that right Grandma?” cause you know Grandma knows everything. ROFL

Ahhhhh, kids. Ya’ll know Aunt Jackie loves the kids.

Now on to the giddiness of it all. This past summer I was crushed - crushed I tell you - when I saw the line-up for the Capital Jazz Festival. I decided I wasn’t going. Didn’t try to dissuade any of the crew. Just said I ain’t going. Wellllllll……guess what I got in the mail today?? Yes - the lineup for this year is so darn exciting, I’m ready to hit the road right now!! For real. Shoot, tickets go on sale next week and you know who is gonna be perched at her keyboard to pounce. Check out the line-up for yourself…..

16th Annual Capital Jazz Fest
June 6-8, 2008
Merriweather Post Pavilion
Columbia, Maryland

The 2008 Capital Jazz Fest will take place on June 6-8, 2008 at Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, Maryland. This year’s festival will be hosted by Grammy Award-winning vocalist Patti Austin. The talent lineup–just announced today–appears below:

16th Annual Capital Jazz Fest
Talent Lineup

Friday, June 6, 2008
7:30pm

Pavilion Stage
BONEY JAMES· Brian McKnight
Special guest host: PATTI AUSTIN
Plus…the 5th annual Capital Jazz Challenge competition
at the Hilton Columbia Hotel

Saturday, June 7, 2008
12 noon - 10pm

Pavilion Stage
CHRIS BOTTI · DIANNE REEVES· Spyro Gyra · Kim Waters · ROBERTA FLACK · Ken Ford · Wayman Tisdale
Special guest host: Patti Austin

Symphony Woods Stage
JEFFREY OSBORNE · LOOSE ENDS · PLUNKY** · Carl Thomas · FRANK MCCOMB
plus additional artist TBA
Special guest host: Tony Richards
(**Blog owner’s note - ya’ll know that’s Richmond’s very own James “PLUNKY” Branch, right? Go ‘head Plunky! Hmmm….I wonder if he’s bringing “The Oneness” with him. And if anybody out there knows what’s up with “JuJu”, holla atcha girl!**)

Sunday, June 8, 2008
12 noon - 10pm

Pavilion Stage
JOR SAMPLE· RANDY CRAWFORD · BRIAN CULBERTSON · DOWN TO THE BONE · R&R (featuring RICK BRAUN & Richard Elliot) · Four80East
plus additional artist TBA
Special guest host: Patti Austin

Symphony Woods Stage
LEDISI · AVERAGE WHITE BAND · The Jazzy Soul Collective (featuring Jimmy Sommers, Vikter Duplaix, GORDON CHAMBERS, & Lynne Fiddmont) · Howard Hewett · ERIC ROBERSON (**ERRO!! That brother puts on a show, ya hear me? If he sings “Softest Lips”, I’m done. DONE. D-O-N-E Done.) · Billy Kilson & BK Groove
Special guest host: Tony Richards

Tickets for the 16th annual Capital Jazz Fest go on sale Saturday, March 8 at 12 noon. For more details on the Capital Jazz Fest, visit www.capitaljazz.com.

I was so excited when I got that email, I hit FavCus#1 on speed dial and ran down the list for her. So…the call goes out to-mor-row to find out who’s in and who’s out. All I know is, me and FavCus#1 are ready to roll…THIS is gonna be GOODER than GOOD!

Who knows? Maybe we’ll be serenaded in the gas station again by some jazz loving Canadians. “What you won’t do…do for love…do you know where I’ve beeeennnn Baybee?” Or roll up on Biz Markie in I-Hop. “You, you got what I neeeeed..and you say he’s just a friend…and you say he’s just a friend…oh baby you….”

Happy Friday!

Today, I am reminded of something that I saw while flipping channels a few weeks ago. I think it was an episode of “Wife Swap”. When I flipped through, a young girl was praying for the “substitute” Mom. Her prayer was simply this – that she remain “teachable”.

That’s my prayer today – that I remain “teachable”.

That prayer/TV episode came to me as I was asking myself questions about certain situations in my life. I realized in that moment of asking that I, “the queen of powerful questions”, was asking wrong question. Well…not so much the “wrong” question but more importantly – the RIGHT question but in the WRONG way.

The way I was framing the question led to struggle and conflict being part of the resolution no matter how many different ways I came at it. Definitely not where I want to go. While I believe that conflict and struggle MAY be necessary in some cases, I recognized the struggle/conflict that I was brewing was part and parcel of my very own “private label”. LOL

Yes, I do have a small “factory” in my head that manufactures conflict where there is none, struggle where it’s not needed and drama as if it was some fabulous must-have accessory. I’m trying to shut the factory down completely. I’m making steady reductions in the amount of ‘products’ I manufacture daily so I know I’m heading in the right direction. I don’t know if today’s ‘special order’ was from a backlog or my head didn’t get the memo that we’re not taking any new orders.

And now here I am, praying this simple prayer – “Help me remain teachable.”

My quick breakthrough was simply this, instead of asking “How do I make them see that I’m right?!” (not exactly how I was wording it but once you boiled it down to the bone, that’s really what I was asking. LOL) – I asked the question this way, “How do we turn this around?”

Reframing it might not make the question different to anybody else but it does for me. In the first instance, I’ve taken the stance that I’m right, others need to acquiesce to that fact and do it my way. That kind of logic will keep me stuck. The second instance allows for “peaceful coexistence”. It shows that I’m open to hearing what others say, to collaborating, and making it win-win for everybody. This kind of logic gets us all moving AND…in a unified direction.

Ahhhhh….harmony is restored.

So, what’s in heavy rotation in your MP3? Right now, I am l-o-v-i-n-g Emily King’s “Eastside Story”. You’ve probably heard the first cut from this CD in radio rotation - “Walk in My Shoes”. Got a nice old school funky bass line to it. I’m playing this CD so much, I can’t even remember what other CDs I picked up the same day. Here’s one of my favorite cuts, “U & I”:

So there’s a bill before the VA General Assembly. According to said proposed legislation, a person would be allowed to carry a concealed weapon into a bar…provided that person went to the barkeep and said, “I have a conceealed weapon, a permit to carry it. Please don’t serve me any alcohol.” You’re laughing? I’m serious.

Voters turned out in record numbers to vote in the Democratic Primary a few weeks back. It was a beautiful thang…regardless of who they voted for. Now, you’da thunk that folks were watching what was going on across the nation and prepared accordingly right? *SIGH* Oh no. Not “The Commonwealth of VA”. The number of ballots made available in polling places was derived “simply” by looking at previous turnout and doing a basic extrapolation. That might have sufficed except for the fact that folks are fired up about the Democratic race and are turning out in droves. Why oh why did folks in Chesterfield County - upon finding out they were running out of ballots - instruct people to write their choices on a piece of paper and place it in the ballot box?!?! Why?? Now the whole process is being reviewed.

*sigh* Apparently VA isn’t just for lovers….it’s for foolishness too….

I was half-watching “Quarterlife” tonight. In one scene, there’s a chick who’s videoblogging about her life (including the foibles of her friends…unbeknowst to them) who’s watching a guy she’s in love with watching her roommate who he’s in love with as she dances with her boyfriend who happens to be the guy’s bestfriend. Got it? ‘K. Point is, she’s watching them and thinks to herself something like, “I’ve always been able to “see” other people, to know what they’re thinking and feeling. How come no one ever sees me?”

*SIGH*

Been there. Done that. Felt like I was wearing a cloak of invisibility. (Ironic considering how much of my life I TRIED to be invisible…but that’s a whole ‘nother post.)

Let me see if I can tie that scene and her sense of invisibility into a thought I had on the way home today. Remember this post, Beautiful Epiphany? That was a case where I “saw” someone so clearly it scared the stuffing out of him. Honestly, it freaked me out a first too but…I held myself in place, made myself stand up under all of it…cause I knew what was on the other side of that minor discomfort was worth it. Well, you know when folks who try to hide are found out, chances are that someone might just get hurt. I did. Licked my wounds. Moved on. With my vision clear. Or so I thought….

And then today I realize that God had orchestrated another situation in my life just like that Only this time? I was the person being seen through. It was…different…challenging…somewhat scary…but never once did I doubt that it wouldn’t be worth standing up under. Why? Cause better than being good “TO” me, that brother was/is sho’ nuff good “FOR” me. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I shared a poem with one of my writing groups that talked about a man who is the kind of man I could grown into, whose love is the kind that I could grow into. Yes, that was my poetic ode to you. (Ok, I confess - it was ONE of my poetic odes to you.)

Isn’t that the ultimate? To be in love with someone who challenges you in all the right ways? Who won’t let you cut corners or sell yourself short? A person who you can grow INTO? I remember a conversation from years ago with someone I was ending a relationship with and we talked about relationships/growing. It too became poetic fodder…including a reference to him saying we were breaking up because we’d outgrown each other and me pointing out the real truth - ironic though it might have been: we’d never grown INTO each other.

To YOU is say, “Thank you.” Thank you for seeing me completely naked and never once flinching. For reflecting my worth back to me in every way possible. Know that I’m standing still. You…are…a love song.

Let’s just end this post on that note shall we? Oh, here’s another of my favorite songs from another of my favorite artist - Lizz Wright singing “My Heart”.

Lizz Wright - My Heart

Last week ended on a very good note for me. Found my momentum and just rolled with it. Got some writing done. Tied down some loose ends work-wise. Found out I was more than on the right track with some things – I was halfway home while some folk were just getting started.

Momentum is a beautiful thang. Yes indeed. Yes indeed. But momentum coupled with some serious focus? Add in dedicated, persistent action? Now that’s a true triple play were talking about. That’s the triple play Com.cast needs to sell!

I want to replicate that level of momentum, focus and action as I move further into this week. To not only get some things done but to get them done WELL. It’s interesting because I’ve already run into a few things that are trying to get me off balance. And I remind myself in that instance that all that nonsense - all that madness - is simply not part of my plan – not today, not tomorrow, not even next week. Not eva. EVA EVA.

I found myself scurrying around in circles last week, taking my cues from folks around me. And I had to snap myself back to reality – it was sheer madness. Now, there are some folks who can live IN madness. Matter of fact, if there’s no madness, no confusion or drama, they don’t even know they’re alive. That’s not me. And guess what? It’s not GOING to be either. There’s definitely a difference between living IN madness and being able to FUNCTION in madness. I have no intention of having the madness be my place of residence so I pulled myself aside for a little talky-talk-talk.

Said to myself, “Self. Some folk put the “func” in ‘dysfunctional’; other people make it down right ‘funky’. Let’s not be either one of those people.”

How am I going to live above the madness?

1. Recognize it for what it is. Sometimes it’s a cry for help. Sometimes it’s someone’s need for attention. Sometimes it’s a security blanket. Sadly enough, for some…it’s a way of life. Question is do I have to let it become mine? NO.

2. Stay centered. I remind myself of the goal, the path I’m taking to get there and assess the potential roadblocks. The roadblocks? I use them to sharpen my skills, to hone my climbing skills cause I’m heading to the top. Get in the way if you want to. I remind myself that much of this is simply a means to an end and in this moment, that MEANS the madness must END.

3. Don’t take it personal. The madness generally isn’t about YOU. And when it is? When you find that your hands are the ones stirring the pot, smack yo’ self if ya must. Now, know that sometimes? It is ’bout you. Own that. Deal with it. Then move on.

4. Know that nothing lasts forever. Madness and drama normally wear themselves out, especially if folks don’t play into it. At the very least, it has to take some downtime to recharge. When it comes back thinking it’s full strength, I’ve already moved on. And I’m not making any U-turns.

5. Stop struggling against it. Madness is like a strong current of water. Get caught up in it at the wrong moment, and you will be sucked it. When I find myself pulled into that whirlpool, I stop. I simply stop. Stop struggling. Stop trying to make sense of things. Stop trying to reason with folks. Cause folks caught up in madness are like folks that think they’re drowning – a drowning person has the capacity to drown their potential rescuer. Find another way.

I’m sure I could add to this list (and I probably will) but like Vanessa Williams sang, “I got work to do!”. I best be on it.

Enjoy your day!

ANTICIPATION….

I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL 8PM TONIGHT!! I am SOOOO looking forward to this movie. I know fans of “The Wire” are in mourning over last night’s episode but you might have to put a post-it in your grieving until tomorrow. Phylicia Rashad is absolutely phenomenal in this movie. If you’ve never seen her in anything other than either of the Cosby Shows, you are truly in for a treat. She’s a long way from “Clair Huxtable” in this movie.

Ok…off to work I go! Happy Monday!! Oh and um….if you call/email me tonight between 8-11pm please know that I am NOT answering you - unless you use the “Bat Signal”. For real. I’ll catch up with you AFTER I’ve let this movie digest. Enjoy!

Sanaa Lathan, Phylicia Rashad, Sean Combs, Audra McDonald and Justin Martin.

photo by ABC/Peter Stranks

Audra McDonald, Sean Combs, Sanaa Lathan and Phylicia Rashad star in the ABC television adaptation of Lorraine Hansberry’s A Raisin in the Sun, which airs Feb. 25 at 8 PM ET.

Kenny Leon, who staged the recent Broadway revival, directs his original stars for the ABC-TV movie, which also features Bill Nunn, Ron Cephas Jones, Sean Patrick Thomas and John Stamos.

“The ground-breaking drama portrays a brief period of time in the life of the Younger family as they anxiously await the arrival of a $10,000 life insurance check,” reads an ABC release. “Everyone in the family has their own ideas about how they plan to use their new-found wealth and are eager for their new lives to start.”

The film features the cast of the 2004 revival, including Combs as Walter Lee Younger, McDonald as Ruth Younger, Rashad as Lena Younger and Lathan as Beneatha Younger. McDonald and Rashad earned Tony Awards for their performances; Lathan was Tony-nominated.

Stamos (Nine, “ER”) takes on the role of Karl Lindner, Jones (Gem of the Ocean, Our Lady of 121st Street) appears as Willy, Thomas (”Save the Last Dance,” Much Ado About Nothing) plays George and Nunn (”Do the Right Thing,” “Spider-Man”) reprises his role as Bobo. The ensemble also features Justin Martin (The Lion King) as Travis and David Oyelowo (”The Last King of Scotland”) as Asagai.

The three-hour, small-screen version utilizes a script penned by Paris Qualles, based on the original Hansberry play. Craig Zadan and Neil Meron (the TV versions of “Cinderella,” “Annie” and the films “Hairspray” and “Chicago”) produced the work for Sony Pictures. The work made its world premiere at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival.

A Raisin in the Sun premiered in 1959. It was the first Broadway play written by, directed by and starring African-Americans. Lloyd Richards directed a cast that included Sidney Poitier, Claudia McNeil, Diana Sands, Ruby Dee and Louis Gossett — who also appeared in the 1961 film version. The play was also adapted for a 1989 TV movie starring Danny Glover and Esther Rolle and also served as source material for the musical, Raisin.

Life Changes.

Whether you’re ready for it or not, Life just does what it does – change, evolve, keep moving…until it becomes it’s complete opposite.

In between those times, so many of us struggle with and against change. Myself included. It seems as if I struggled hardest when life wasn’t all that kind to me. But I was struggling to keep things the same. My philosophy then was “The devil that you DO know is better than the devil that you DON’T know”. Wisdom and living has taught me that, either way, it’s still the devil.

I think we struggle against change because we have no guarantee about what’s on the other side – is it going to be better, the same or worse?

I’ve learned over the years that, for myself, it’s probably best that I don’t always know what change is bringing. If I knew things were going to be worse, I wouldn’t choose the change. If I knew things were going to get better, I’d worry about how long “better” would last or if somebody made a mistake in assigning “better” to me and would come to reclaim it later. If I knew things were going to stay the same, I’d fret about that because I had no guarantee and because I knew I’d become bored. Having come to this realization, I decided to move in the direction of the change, to flow with it – not against it. To conserve my energy for adapting to the change while holding my core values intact rather than struggling against what was going to happen anyway. To exercise my faith each and every day knowing that if God brings me to it, He will most certainly bring me through it.

Expect change. It’s part of life. It happens. Nothing stays the same. Change can be a tremendous growth opportunity if you stop struggling against it. I had to accept the fact that I couldn’t control change – not the fact that it existed, not when it showed up, and certainly not how it showed up. I simply had to be cordial to it, make friends with it, find my peace while it swirled around me, and learn how to live the truth of who I am in the midst of it. Trust. Believe. Surrender. Move.

For years, I was the person who had to have day mapped out, every day of her vacation, etc. Not in terms of minute details but certainly at a high-level, I needed to know what was what. I wasn’t much on surprises. But, as much as we like to live with the illusion that we’re in control, we aren’t. I had to learn to relax into the mystery of change, into the mystery of life, into the mystery of His Will and trust that His Will would never take me where His grace couldn’t find me. Faith in action.

Relax. If you’re in a relaxed frame of mind, you’ll be able to see your blessings more easily and quickly as change comes. You’ll have your wits about you so that you can adapt, get the lay of the land. Be kind to yourself, be gentle, be patient…be at peace as much as you can.

Listen for what change is telling you. There is a message in the midst of all that movement. Whether it’s insight from the past, clarity about the present, or guidance about your future. There’s a blessing in the midst of change. Be still. Calm your spirit, your mind AND your mouth.

Most importantly, be alive, alert, awake. Don’t sleep through your life. Unless you’re a bear, hibernation is NOT the look. ENGAGE. You don’t have to be in the thick of things – sit quietly, sort it out but don’t hide. Watch for the clues. Make no judgments. Don’t declare things not to your liking. Move into the change with ease and see how it feels. Ask yourself powerful questions:

1. Can I stop this change? Even if I could, should I? How would remaining as is serve me?

2. Am I prepared for this change? CAN I prepare for it? How?

3. Is this change a sign that I need to do something? (Seek a new job, go back to school, start my own company, end a relationship, relocate, etc.)

4. How can I make this change work for me?

5. Have I missed any important clues or signs?

6. How can I maintain my peace of mind as I move through this?

I also had to learn to be mindful of what I question or how long I question it. I had to make peace with moving forward without knowing all the who’s, what’s, when’s, whys and how’s. Sometimes I’m not meant to know. So what do I do? Surrender to that. Go with it. Flow with it. Conserve my energy – mental, physical, spiritual – for what lies ahead.

Don’t struggle with change - not through it, not against it. Struggle is a choice – remember that it’s not your only option. Change might look and feel “bad” (newsflash: most of the time it’s not “bad” you’re feeling, just “different”) when it approaches but your response to it determines how it looks as it leaves. You have choices. Remember that.

As a friend once said to me, “Hide your pain, hold your peace, and heighten your praise”. That should be all the seat belt you need to move through ANY change in your life.

Live DELICIOUSLY!

Copyright 2007 - Jackie Young

They say that life will teach you, if you let it. I say Life will teach you whether you “let” it or not – whether you “pass”, “fail” or doom yourself to remedial classes is up to you.

Can I tell you that in the school of life, I am sitting front row center, taking notes, trying to get the extra credit, hands up asking questions.

So, I’ve been contracting for 1.5 months now. Took on a 6-month possible temp-to-perm position that I *thought* had not only a great blend of the things I like to do, things I’m very good at, and still yields lots of opportunity.

So how come I’m bored? B-O-R-E-D. Perhaps in my desire to find something “familiar”, I’ve walked into something much too familiar and instead of it becoming a “comfort zone”, it’s actually a “rut”. Perhaps in my desire to find something “familiar”, I forgot that as vital as this kind of function is to an organization, it always – without fail – gets treated like a step-child. Not the best situation for a person who, despite knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that the layoff of 2007 was in her best interest, still finds her career-ego a bit bruised. (What? Are you surprised by that statement? Say what you will about me – I am honest, especially with and about myself. It’s one thing to tell a lie, it’s a whole ‘nother set of circumstances to try to LIVE that lie. But um, I digress.)

What’s bringing all this to the surface now? Well, first, I’m bored and being bored for me means I become disengaged which never works out in anyone’s favor. Secondly, there is much too much a need for my skillsets in the organization for me to be bored or have a string of do-nothing days. Third, I’m still getting calls/emails from other consulting companies wanting to place me in other jobs. As a matter of fact, I got one such call yesterday and it is tempting – more so than any other teasers I’ve gotten in a long time. So, I’m reviewing my contract. Then I’m sitting down with my manager for a “where-are-we-heading” conversation. Cause honestly? With all that I’ve seen here (and I have seen A LOT in 1.5 months), there is no reason that ANYONE is sitting stalled. If you don’t know how best to put my skills to use, let me show you. If we can’t get some things on and popping in the next couple of weeks, I need to be on to the next episode.

So, what to do? What to do? Do I tough it out? Do I sit down with the client and have a “look-a-heah” conversation (again??)? Do I sit down with the consulting company and have a little tete-a-tete? Murky waters. Both cases. See, I work for the consulting company who ultimately works for the client. Who’s working for me? Don’t get me wrong – I like this consulting company and the recruiters, account managers. But ultimately, their job is to meet the client’s needs, to fill a seat and one warm capable body is just as good as the next. So….who’s working FOR me? ME. Little ol’ me.

How do I work through that? Who do I have the conversation with? A friend of mine told me I should be very careful about initiating conversations – whether it’s with the client or with my consulting firm. Why? The issue isn’t “initiating” the conversations – the issue is being clear as to what the conversation is about. Making sure I’m having the RIGHT conversation in the RIGHT way with the RIGHT person(s). There’s a good deal of history and personal rapport between the consulting company and the client which adds to the “who’s-working-for-me” conundrum. How do I work around that?

Simple. I have one conversation with the client (that’s where I’m going to start – to go to the consulting company without first trying to work it out seems childish, tattle-tale-ish, too me). During that conversation, I clearly state my concerns, reiterate how I can help them become more effective, more efficient, and press gently for license to do my thing which includes the nod to proceed with multiple assignments. Not once during this conversation will I say anything to the client that I would be bothered to have someone else repeat. Say it in such a way that it can’t be misconstrued. And at the end of the conversation, document what was said, what was agreed upon and then roll up my sleeves and do what I do. No emotions. No extra skin in the game. Just the facts. And at the end of that, if this turns out to be NOT the place for me, I know there are other opportunities to be had (as evidenced by the calls/emails I’ve received this week alone). AND my resume has already been updated. Ha!

So, game on. And guess what? Whether I go or stay – I still win. Why? Because being here has really given me a chance to work on some “softskill” things that could only come to the surface in just such an environment. And any situation that gives me a chance to learn more about myself, to sharpen my own personal saw is worth more than just a paycheck and benefits to me. Believe that.

Want to hear something ironic?

I need to let go of my need to know “HOW”…but…I don’t know HOW to let go. *sigh*

I’m talking about the “HOW” of getting something done, of reaching a goal…of knowing and planning each step. For example, I’m working on a craft item – a line of products – but…I don’t know “HOW” to get an important step done so I’m spinning my wheels. Asking myself all kinds of “HOW” questions.

“HOW” was kicking my butt last week in a big way. I was driving home Thursday mulling it over, letting it marinate. I felt that familiar nudge in my spirit followed by this simply statement: “ Let go of HOW”.

Now you know my immediate response was to ask, “HOW?”

How exactly do I let go of “HOW”? It’s a hard habit to break – I’m not saying impossible – just that it can be hard. Add to it the fact that my career is centered around “HOW” – how your system/processes currently work, how to make them more efficient/effective, HOW it broke in the first place, how to create a system/process where none exists, how to meet project deliverables, how to make your deadlines. See? HOW just all up and THROUGH my life. Those same kinds of “HOWs” show up in my “real” career too. So, how does the “Queen of HOW” learn to let go of “HOW”.

I know that I don’t have to have ALL the answers…but I’m quite fond of having the ones that pertain to me. LOL

I thought about this “let go of HOW” off and on all night Thursday. Surprisingly, when I got to work on Friday, I had some kind of breakthrough because I was working it o-u-t OUT like nobody’s business. Things I’d wrung my hands over just the day before and relegated to the “I-don’t-have-a-HOW” graveyard.

Looking back at it now, I think the trigger was that I wanted/needed to get this task done and I wasn’t going to let anything or anyone get in the way. AND in this case, I knew that whatever I came up in the end would be 1000% better than what I started with. So to paraphrase Nike’s slogan, “I Just DID It!”

Ever since that initial call to my spirit to “let go of HOW”, I’ve seen/read articles speaking to just that. It’s even shown up in my horoscope for the last few days. LOL (OK Lord, I can take a hint!)

It’s still a fresh struggle – old habits die hard. But I read a quote that really helps me push when I want to put out an APB on my missing “HOW”:

“People hide behind the question of “HOW” and it becomes a defense against them living their lives.” Peter Block

Wow.

What a way to undress my greatest fear and stand it naked and unashamed in front of me. If THAT doesn’t push me to let go of “HOW”, I don’t know what will. I am not going to get to the end of my life and realize I didn’t live the life I wanted/was destined for simply because of ME. Nope. Not gonna happen.

“HOW” can be a great thing. As a guide. A flexible tool helping you get from Point A to Point B. BUT when used “incorrectly” (translation: the way I was using it), “HOW” becomes a barrier, a way to confine your creative self. “HOW” will keep you so mired down in what you DON’T know/have, you don’t trust yourself to get it, keep it, or deserve it.

I guess I convinced myself that “HOW” was a guarantee of some kind. That it represented stability and security, both of which are big for me. But how secure or stable can a “HOW” built with blinders be? If I’ve got it mapped out to the nth degree, if I have all steps to reaching the goal mapped out….my goal isn’t big enough. Having it ALL worked out to that degree (in addition to being unrealistic) limits my choices because I’m not open to anything other than what I’ve envisioned…even if what life brings to me is a better option.

Ohhhhh! I just had an “AHA” moment. “HOW” is simply a form of procrastination, another way to dress up my fears. It’s like birth control for whatever goal or dream I’m trying to achieve. It gives me permission to tell myself no, to keep living small….when in actuality, all I need to say to the question of “HOW” is simply this - YES.

YES leaves room for the true “HOW” to show up unencumbered by any of my personal constraints (like my breakthrough on Friday).

So today I’m practicing answering every “HOW” with a simple “YES”.

In the process of cleaning house (partly in preparation for Christmas, and partly end-of-year routine), I stumbled across my 7-Habits day planner that my former employer sprung for back in the day when 7-Habits was all the rage.

I had to laugh at myself when I saw all the things I’d taped to the inside cover – front & back. Judge for yourself. Did a sistah have an “Emergency Motivation Kit” or what? LOL

- “No one can take you peace or your power unless you surrender it.”

- Jesus cured 10 lepers in one day. Only one came back to thank Him. Why should YOU expect more gratitude than Jesus got?

- ACCEPT WHAT GOD ALLOWS

- When you come to the end of all the light that you know, and you are about to step off into darkness, FAITH is knowing that one of two things will happen: there will be something solid in the darkness for you to stand on…OR…you will be taught how to fly!

- Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. There was no one there.

- May God steal from you all that steals you from Him.

- The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.

- Begin to weave and God will give you the thread.

- I am the daughter in whom God is well pleased.

- The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.

- Prayer: don’t bother to give God instructions, just report for duty.

- We are responsible for the effort, not the outcome.

- God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

- Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm

- Let Go (Surrender) & Let God (Believe)

- If you don’t take responsibility for your conditions, you cannot change them. Nor can you grow through them. That which you cannot GROW through, you will GO through…again and again.

- “Every man is guilty of all the good he didn’t’ do.” – Voltaire

- “The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.” – Patricia Swerda

- “Action is eloquence.” – William Shakespeare

- “Oh if my children would leave my work to me and occupy themselves with the task I give them!” – Philippians 2:13

May today there be peace within you.
May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing and dance and to bask in the sun. It is there for each and every one of you.

“The Will of God”
The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot keep you, where the arms of God cannot support you, where the riches of God cannot supply your needs, where the power of God cannot endow you. The will of God will never take you where the spirit of God cannot work through you, where the wisdom of God cannot teach you, where the army of God cannot protect you, where the hands of God cannot mold you. The will of God will never take you where the love of God cannot enfold you, where the mercies of God cannot sustain you, where the peace of God cannot calm your fears, where the authority of God cannot overrule you. The will of God will never take you where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears, where the Word of God cannot feed you. — Author Unknown

- While you are in the “NOW”, God is in the “NOT YET”.

3 Keys to Real Peace

o FRET NOT – because God loves you
o FAINT NOT – because God holds you
o FEAR NOT – because God keeps you

- We can’t take any credit for our talents. It’s how we use them that counts – Madeline L’Engle

- There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein

- The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. – Henry Boye

- Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. – Judy Garland

- Teach yourself to work in uncertainty. – Bernard Malamud

- Don’t grow a wishbone where your backbone should be.

- Each day is a gift, not a given!

- BREATHE

Ya’ll know it’s one of those small day-planners right? LOL And the goodies above don’t even include the things I had on my cubicle walls…my screensaver…

Just another day at work….as they used to say back in da day, “Life is GRAND at the PLAN”.

Happy Monday!!

“Is it the way you love me Baby?”

Yes. If you’re doing it right. LOL And by “IT” I mean on EVERY level, not just the physical.

Anywho, Happy Valentines’ Day also known as “Just another Wednesday” to those folks who get bent out of shape by the events of the day.

Oh, how cute is this?

It’s a Valentine’s Day Bouquet…made from fruit…the orange center of the flower is cantaloupe, the yellow flower is pineapple. Yum! Pineapple. My favorite.

However you spend your day, make it enjoyable.

Live Deep….
Love Deeper….

*~* J *~*