Are you a “Go-Getter”? Or has your “Get-up-and-Go” gotten up and gone?

I used to think of myself as a “go-getter”. Without question, hesitation or reservation. I still do. In some instances. And to certain degrees. What’s different now as opposed to “then”? Me.

Maybe I have more clarity where certain things are concerned, their true importance to me. Life has definitely shown me that even when I told myself to chase it all, I didn’t really want or need “all” of it. So it took some trial and error, some down time, quiet time to sort through things and come to a better understanding of what being a “Go-Getter” looked like…for me.

See, I had to come through some things to realize that what looked like a “Go-Getter” to me wouldn’t necessarily fit the next person and vice versa. In some instances, I had to make peace with that because there were some things I was chasing hot and heavy that I just KNEW I wanted or had convinced myself they were meant for me. Not.

I’ve been mulling over this whole “Go-Getter” concept since I signed on for another “cruise” on the CSS. Sometimes you land in a position that you can mold into whatever you want it to be (within some constraints). It works well if you’re a “Go-Getter”. I’m looking around, surveying the lay of the land and truly having to ask myself, “Inside these walls, am I a go-getter? Do I want to be? Do I need to be? Is that someone’s expectation? How far off the mark are they? How long before they figure that out”? (LOL)

Still mulling those things over. I know that I’m going to get the job done. No doubt. But am I climbing mountains, fighting wildfires, angling for that next level? I don’t think so. It’s not that I CAN’T do that…it’s that I don’t think I want to…not in this instance. I’m not angling for a promotion or a permanent job (at the moment). I’m simply angling for next week’s paycheck, experience that represents growth, and great references. I’m angling for this “full-time TEMPORARY job” to fund my ‘full-time PURPOSE’. Now THAT part? The “Full-time PURPOSE”? I’m DEFINITELY a “Go-Getter” in that arena.

What I find even more interesting is the things other people think or say in regards to whether or not someone else is a “Go-Getter”. We tend to forget that how we see other people is based on our own filters, whatever experiences we may have had in life…not necessarily what’s true for that person. People tell me all the time that I’d make a great manager. *shrug* Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t want to BE that person, not with a long-term team anyway. I can do it. It’s not my thing. And ultimately - in this case - it is SOOOO very much all about me. Listening to what others think you should/not do or be will have you tied up in knots. Let that go. Be you. Do you.

One thing that I’ve learned & absorbed into my spirit in all my working towards being a “Go-Getter” is that I’m not called to be or do everything I’m capable of being or doing.

Let that marinate a while.

I’m out!

What’s good? Thought I’d come rescue my blog from cobwebs and tumble weeds before it became completely unrecognizable. It’s been a busy month…some “good” busy, some “not-so-good” busy but I’m rolling with it. My Mom lost her oldest living sibling so now it’s just her and Aunt H.

Still trying to get my footing were the new job is concerned. Interesting thing about that is that folks always SAY they want structure, order and processes…until you deliver them. LOL Oh well. To paraphrase that old Calvin Klein commercial, “Nothing comes between me and my paycheck!” Definitely an interesting place. On many levels. Great place for a go-getter. Having that dialogue with myself lately. I’ll be blogging about it shortly…

I’m looking forward to some big things in 2008. Two of the biggest? My nephew D FINALLY deciding which college he wants to attend and his high-school graduation. Whew Lawd! I cannot WAIT until he is ready to sign his name on somebody’s document that says he will matriculate there for the next four years! LOL Can ya’ll tell that I’m a bit wo’ out by the whole process? LOL I am. Don’t get me wrong, I like helping him work out what he wants to do with his life. And I enjoy our little roadtrips too. We get a chance to talk without interruption about whatever’s on his mind. And I get to see how much of what he’s been told or shown is actually sticking with him. But at the end of this little adventure, I’m tucking an IOU in his graduation card for the gas alone. Sheesh!

While I was at my Mom’s this weekend, he tells me that he got invited to this “Make It Happen” session next month. They pull about 12-15 male high school students - African American juniors and seniors - together from various schools and talk about life, college, career aspirations, etc. He participated last year and enjoyed speaking to the other students and whoever else was present. Then he tells me in an “oh, by the way” fashion that he’s part of the Principal’s Advisory Board at his high school…which is a pretty big deal. So I’m asking him exactly what it means to be part of the PAB and he tells me they get together and talk about “things”. Now ya’ll know I need a breakdown of what “things” means. That child was like, “Naw, you tryna make fun of me” so I had to “GENTLY” cuff him ‘round the neck and assure him that my teasing him was definitely NOT the case. I need him to be able to articulate what he’d been involved in so that he could speak on it in other instances. ‘Member that little blemish he got into last year? The PAB and “Make it Happen” are just the kinds of things that can counteract that blemish…sorta like Pro-Active. (I need a nap right? LOL)

Took Mom to Wally-world while I was home. That little lady got “lost” & I kept telling folk I was gonna leave her. Normally I go home and don’t run into anybody but not Saturday. Ran into one of my classmates’ sister and her mom. Found out that she (the sister) is a grandmother - twice over. Man! Then ran into the mother of three guys who growing up were best friends with Brothers #4-6. I hadn’t seen her in YEARS so that was cool. And then…funniest moment of the weekend. Ran into a guy who lived next door to my Mom when we were growing up. He was friends with my nephew T. He had a twin sister but you’d never know they were twins by looking at them. She was always taller than him and they didn’t look that much alike (to me). Anyway, he was a cute kid. Now? Lawd. That kid MAN is foine. About 7 years ago, I found out he had a crush on me growing up. I never knew that but BigSis#2 did. (How? I don’t know. She was grown & out the house when we moved into that house.)

Anyway, I’m standing in Walmart talking to him and people are passing by. He speaks to those he knows. This one guy came down the aisle with his girlfriend and turned down the aisle near us. He spoke to the guy & we kept talking. Dude & his girl come back by. I’m still focused on talking to “Midget” (yeah, that’s what we used to call him when he was younger cause he was a tad bit short) and he gets this look on his face. I’m like, what’s wrong with you. He goes on to tell me how the guy that passed us twice came in the store with a woman but is all up in my face. Bwwwwwaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaa! Was he? I really wasn’t paying any attention to him. When that man & his girl passed us again, I started laughing cause he did look our way. “Midget” said, “See?! Like I’m not standing here talking to you! He gon’ disrespect me, you by staring AND his girlfriend.” My Mom thought that was soooo funny. *smh*

Anywho, I’m back on the grind. Putting some writing projects together, looking to revamp the blog, putting legs on some personal projects. You know…my focus word for 2008 – ACTION.

I’m on it.

Dear 2008,

Just wanted to drop you a quick note. Let you know that know that we’re pretty much in this together. We ’bout to make some thangs happen. In a big way. We’re going to prepare – as best we can – for the opportunities that walk up to the door and knock. Open the door and let them in.

Gonna take the lessons learned from what once was and apply them to what is, to what is to be. No matter what comes our way, we’re going to keep right on working out – building muscle, increasing stamina and endurance, going the distance. Not getting caught up in whether we make it look “easy”…as long as we remember it’s possible.

You come to me with a purpose and I honor that, I acknowledge it and I extend to you the space and grace to simply be what you were meant to be: a blank canvas, a calendar full of play-doh for my creation. I know that, by and large, I’m creating my days, not really shaping myself around YOU…BUT…I retain my shape-shifting powers for emergencies.

As the old skool song said, “Let’s dance. Let’s dance to the drummer’s beat!”
Allow me to introduce MYSELF…I…am…the…drummer. And people, when the DJ ask, “Can the drummer get some?” you need to know that the answer is irrevocably, undeniably, unflinchingly, “HELL YEAH!”

Now come on over here. Let me unwrap you! Slowly. We got alllll year long. No need to rush. Let’s just enjoy the moments, be present in each of them. Work our way to the good stuff…trusting that it’s ALL good stuff no matter what it looks like to the naked eye.

Oh, by the way, I dressed for the occasion – wearing JOY…head-to-toe. Feet encased in laced-up PURPOSE (functional AND fabulous). And you know what Granny used to say, “Don’t matter what you wearing if ya FOUNDATION ain’t right.” Trust and believe, the “foundation” is on lock. Dabbed fresh PERSPECTIVE on my wrists, my neck…trailing it across my collarbone. Let laughter dangle freely from my charm bracelet. Wearing & carrying just the right accessories – powerful yet carefully understated.

I walk into you with my arms, mind, & heart open - open to the limitless possibilities of you & I together; open to the birth of purpose; open to a deeper level of understanding, grace, clarity, and love.

I see you in all your naked authenticity and I match you step for step with the realness of me - joyful me, silly me, determined me, unsure me, pensive me, beautiful me.

You are mine to create and I do so fully conscious. Your days become the journal pages and I am determined to write my life out loud in bold, bright calligraphy in the language of joy. You are 366 days of Play-doh and I intend to shape you purposefully each and every day. You are an endless blank canvas upon which I get to color my dreams as brightly, as boldly, as beautifully as my soul can stand.

Let’s do this!

Let’s create fate!

Loving you with all that I am, with all that I am to be,
“J”

What is it about those words that seem to make people uncomfortable? Say that to someone and they become a little uneasy, begin to wonder what’s up, what they did (or didn’t do).

I find myself at a place where it’s time for a “Looka here” kinda conversation. I’m a bit perturbed at having to do so…so soon. Timing-wise? It might appear to the “naked eye” (also known as “the uninformed”) that this is NOT the right time or the best time. The person I need to talk to is dealing with some things right now, having a rough time. BUT…what I know is that waiting will only make the convo that much more difficult. And I’m not trying to turn what’s a rough time for that person into a rough time for US.

Two years ago in a leadership class, we talked about conversations, particularly having those difficult or awkward conversations. One thing that the facilitator said has stuck with me: “The conversation IS the relationship.”

“The conversation IS the relationship”.

So, if I’m not willing to have the conversation(s) I need to have, then I’m not going to have the relationship I want to have. Avoiding conversations, no matter how difficult we perceive them to be, doesn’t help anybody in the long run.

So, we gon’ hafta have us a little tete-a-tete. Focusing solely on what’s what right now and how we’re going to move forward.

One of the challenges I find myself having is that, being a creative-minded person, I tend to play out the scenario in my head complete with “I’m-gonna-say-this-and-they’ll-say-that-and-then-I’m-gonna-say-this”. I’m trying to stay away from that. Pre-planning can be detrimental to the conversation – outside of being clear about what you want to talk about. So I’m pushing all those “what if” scenarios out of my head and just focusing on the basics – let’s agree that this is the situation we’re in, how we got here isn’t the issue…how we LEAVE that situation is.

I think sometimes when we need to have those difficult conversations, we have the RIGHT conversation at the WRONG time. Or more than likely, we end up having the WRONG conversation – period, regardless of timing.

Wrong conversation? What’s that you ask? A conversation where tension runs high, everyone in the conversation is agitated, no one feels heard…all because you’re not discussing what the REAL issue is.

It can be difficult…initiating conversations that need to happen. But I find chewing back my words to be a slow death…first of what I hoped for the relationship, of my spirit and eventually of the relationship itself. I think back to the last few “we need to talk, put it all out on the table” conversations I had and I have to shake the pain off. In the moment when those conversations were held, things began to unravel…some things slowly, some quickly. Painful regardless of the speed. Initially, I would think about those conversations in terms of what they “cost” me. But you know what they say about hindsight. Now I think about those conversations and realize that in the long-run, they saved me much more than they cost. And they certainly cost me less in the short-term than I would’ve wanted to pay in the long-term.

So, I came home yesterday with needed conversations on my mind. Poured myself a glass of wine (yes – JUST a glass!). And mulled it over. Got clear about WHAT the conversation needed to be about, what I wanted to walk away with, how to keep emotions out of the conversation, and knowing that there’s no time like the present. I definitely think the relationship is worth the effort…and the conversation, no matter how difficult it may be initially. The relationship is worth it. And so am I.

Here’s to building the RIGHT relationship, one conversation at a time.

I intended to post this piece last Wednesday but um…still haven’t nailed my schedule down. *Shrug* Oh well. Enjoy! Yes, I know it’s NOT Wednesday but I figured posting something would be better than letting the tumbleweeds take over, right? LOL

Think back with me, if you will. Remember when you were younger and you’d say, “When I grow up, I’m gonna be a ________________”?. Do you remember what you wanted to be?

I remember having a list (of course I had a list – I’m the chick who keeps a list of all her lists remember?). I was going to be a nurse, AND a teacher AND a dancer AND a hair stylist and a writer AND…well, you get the point, right?

As we inch further into 2008, I’ve decided that I’m going to be an ACTION HERO. Yep. An ACTION HERO. In my own life.

At the end of last year, I had a convo with my girl, Princess Dominique, about how 2008 would be the year of “Ex’s” for me:

Exposure
Experiences
Experimenting
Expression
Exploration

You know what that all boils down to? ACTION! DOING something. Showing up. Making it happen.

Now, don’t get it twisted. I see myself as an ACTION HERO, not a “superhero”. In the first blog post I ever wrote, I talked about Superwoman entering a witness protection program. Trust me – she’s not coming back. Not to this address anyway.

And I realize that I don’t need her too. I got this. Being a “superhero” is way too much pressure. Folks get their expectations twisted up in a mighty way. (And to be honest, if you’re playing the role of a superhero, you got it twisted too.. Folks expect you to be able to do it all, no mistakes, and in record time. To be invincible. To not need anyone. Not need any motivation, encouragement, or rest. To just get it done all while wearing a mask.

Sometimes when you’re playing that ‘superhero’ role, it’s the only way people can *see* you, the only way they *notice* you, the only identity *they* think you have. When’re you’re not in costume, you’re invisible. It can be easy enough to buy into and if you’re not careful, it can be hell trying to peel away that mask, to slip that cape off your shoulders.

Been there. Don’t that. Outgrew the cape, the tights, and the mask. (Well, um…maybe not the mask but errah…dat tain’t nunya bidness.)

See, an ACTION HERO uses what he/she has to get it done. An ACTION HERO doesn’t rely on some mythical, magical power or tools. They work it o-u-t right where they are, with what they have.

Yep.

An ACTION HERO is simply an ordinary person doing extraordinary things.

What “extraordinary thing(s)” are I planning to do this year?

Live my life to the fullest, soak up as much joy as I can when and wherever I can. Stepping it up in such bodacious fashion that the brightness of me will set my little corner of the world on fire. Ha!

Here’s to making it happen in 2008!

And for the record, even though I’m ‘bout to be a major ACTION HERO…you can still call me MsJayy. LOL

Be easy!

Live DELICIOUSLY!

J

Dear Me,

Girl, I look at you as we move into 2008 and simply put, I am amazed. Amazed at how you’ve learned to let go…even when holding on felt good, when letting go felt scary. How you learned to laugh when you really wanted to cry. How you reaffirmed that tears can be just what the doctor ordered…that they can be cleansing, healing, nurturing. How you learned to discern between what was worth your tears…and what wasn’t. How you learned that it really wasn’t about what you were looking at but what you saw. And you didn’t let what other people saw – or didn’t see – phase you not nay one bit. You set boundaries and enforced them – not in an effort to keep people out but rather to remind them that while in your space, they needed to respect whatever choices you made.

You bent without breaking, yielded without cracking, opened up without getting caught up…letting LIFE show up however it was meant to and dealing with the truth of it without getting lost in all the noise or letting any of it pull you too far left or right of your true self. For one solid year, you stood looking into the mirror of your own soul, gently examining your heart. And you never once flinched. No matter what you saw because you knew it was truthful, you knew it was necessary….you knew it was healing.

You stood your ground, doing it your way, praying your way through. Didn’t let your circusmstances DEFINE or CONFINE you. Shoooot, Frank Sinatra ain’t the only one singing, “I did it my way!” You kept moving forward, stopping when you needed to catch your breathe, stepping around the immovable. You slowed down when you needed to, slowed down enough to realize that sometimes to speed up, you have to slow down.

You learned not only to trust your self but to trust more in God. Always. In all things. No matter what it looked like to the naked eye. You did all right Ma - danced more, laughed more, listened more, got still more, smiled more, rid your life of clutter in ALL its various forms, found more peace, cultivated more joy. Loved more, loved deeper, loved better. Weathered the storm. Even found that you loved them…when viewed from the proper perspective.

Girl, you held it d-o-w-n in a mighty way. You and all those folks who were TRULY in your corner. Heaven guided. Heaven provided. Gon’ on wit cha bad self. Shoot, Frank Sinatra ain’t the only one singing, “I did it my way!”…and YOU did it in 3-inch heels. Ha!

So gon’ on Girl - get ya strut on. Strut Ma, strut right into 2008 with all the boldness, gratitude, excitement, anticipation, determination, and purpose that you can muster. Enjoying every step of this beautiful journey.

Make it happen Girl!

Set the world on fiya!

To me…from me -
Loving you with all that I got, all that I am,
“J”

Whew! The last few days have been wild, W-I-L-D I tell you!

First, can I tell you that I’ve *heard* people say that Com.cast is ‘da debil’ and I am soooo inclined to believe them. I bundled services right before Christmas - phone, cable, inna-net. Requested that my existing phone number transfer since I’ve had it for 15 years. Simple enough, right? How come dude shows up and tells me I have a new phone number? Grrrrr! So, I ask if he can set up the inna-net and cable that day and come back when we work through the phone deal. Nope. GRRRRRR!!!!!! On top of that, they didn’t notify the previous carrier of the switch so…if you call my old number, the call goes directly to voicemail & never rings on my end. To actually speak to me, you have to call the new number…which nobody has. Ugh! Then there was an “outage” Sunday that no one could explain. Lasted from Sunday AM until Monday PM. No phone. No cable. No inna-net.

Anywho…it has been HOT here the last two days…over 70 degrees both days.

Ya’ll prolly thinking it’s something to do with glo.bal warm.ing. But I have another theory. Care to hear it?

It’s hot cause ya girl has reentered the land of the employed. Yep, I’m back on the CSS. “The Velvet Hammer” is back on the job. Can i tell you that my mother is oooooh sooooo happy about this change? She is wassssy more excited than I am. You’d think I owed her some money! Dang!

So, I spent a few days shopping for work clothes…and back-to-work pumps. LOL (Confession - I lost my mind. Several days in a row. Wiped out the plastic so much, when I opened my wallet, you could smell smoke. BUT…I felt comforted by the little note at the bottom of the DSW receipt that said, “YOUR SAVINGS 141.70. Funny. I spent more than that…even with the sales. Ha!)

I had all these plans for an uber-relaxing Sunday. Didn’t happen. Not that it WASN’T relaxing, I just had to let go of some plans, and realize that while somethings happened outside of the timeframe I had in mind, they still happened. So, it was all good.

Sunday night found me sitting on my bed, hair properly coiffed and covered, brows skillfully arched, fresh mani/pedicure. Ensemble pressed & ready for wear - Gray power suit, burgundy blouse, silver jewelry, 4-in burgundy “don’t-start-none-won’t-be-none” pumps. I FINALLY got to bed around 12:15am.

Ever have one of those nights where you wake up and you swear you’ve been sleep for HOURS? Yep. I woke up, glanced at the clock. I’d been sleep exactly ONE frigging hour! Couldn’t get back to sleep so I decided I’d check emails or watch TV. But alas, I STILL had no service. Ugh!! So I opted to write for a while instead. Fell asleep about an hour later.

When I tell you that Day 1 was beyond b-o-r-i-n-g, I kid you not. They definitely need the help but there’s so much going on, no one had time to really stop & get organized for the new person. So, I found ways to occupy myself. No inna-net access from work (which probably wll work in my favor in the long run).

On to Day 2. Slow morning. I was included in a 30-minute meeting where there was a moment of silence followed by glee when my manager introduced me and told the folks what part of my function would be. Then I had a hour-long planning session with him. How shall I describe what needs to be done, the direction I was given, the whole company? Murky. Nebulous. Messy. Started out as a small organization that has ballooned and not been able to really keep up with that growth. So in the next few days, I need to create a new tracking system, corral open issues (both under my purvey and outside of it), generate my first tracking report, review the existing processes and faciliate my first worksession. That’s just off the top. LOL

Bottom line? I think my first day on the job was my first and ONLY slow day.

Needless to say, this change (along with a few other things that may or may not hit the blog) has my posting schedule in a little bit of a tizzy right now. I’m trying to get the routine down. We’ll see how it shakes out.

Be easy!

Last year, mayhem, foolishness & utter nonsense circulated like wildfire. This year, I’d like to declare a moratorium on some things. A permanent moratorium. Shall we review the list? Let’s!

* Stories about Brit-Brit…Ms. Brit.tany Sp.ears. Stories about Lin.dsey Lo.han. Pa.ris Hil.ton, etc.
Can we PLEASE turn the cameras off? Just turn them off. If the most “newsworthy” story you can find to report is that any of these folks were spotted rushing into Starbucks for coffee, driving drunk,…or anything else, you should be stripped of your news credentials. We know these young folk have made many a mess of their lives, and they continue to do so. Do we really have to watch it non-stop? Maybe if we turned the cameras off for a minute, they might get it.

* Pictures of Whit.ney Hou.ston’s teen-age daughter with all the “appropriate” “poor-child, let’s-pray-for-her”, etc. when that’s the farthest thing from their minds. Know what really gets me? I know at least four people who sent the pics my way and they really, really need to check their own kids. I’ve seen MUCH worse from their kids. As a matter of fact, let’s stop passing around ANY of those pics - you know, the ones with what folks consider jacked-up weddings, crazy prom pics, etc. Let’s just stop. Or at least be honest enough to say you’re passing them around cause you want folks to get their laugh on just like you did.

* That raggedy email supposedly written by a white woman to Sis.ter-2-Sis.ter mag re: why black men choose white women. How much energy do we need to give to nonsense? Folks choose who they choose for whatever reason. I say leave them to their choices, no matter what you may think of it.

* If you are NOT a registered voter (translation: you CAN register but you WON’T/DON’T), you are the last person who should email about the voting rights of African-Americans expiring. Why da hell do you care? Seriously. Don’t send that to me. You are making my teeth itch. Mightily.

* Ladies, for those of you calling men “DOGS”. Let it go. ‘Specially wif ya blanket statement about ALL men cause you don’t know ALL men. And apparently, based on the venom you’re displaying? You didn’t know the one you THOUGHT you knew. Let’s assume for a moment that the man in question IS a “dog”. Boo, you might wanna investigate your career choices. Him being a “dog” doesn’t relegate YOU to being the “dog catcher”. Stop going through life sprinkling out ya generic kibbles-n-bits.

* Ladies. Brothers. Please. Drop the ‘b’-word. You know the one. Sisters, it is NOT cute. It is NOT empowering. You think I’m a strong woman (or too strong)? Say that. Just like that. Cause swinging the B-word my way warrants what my friend’s grandmother calls a “repentance type of cussing”. For real.

* Rationalizing crazy. Can we just stop trying to do this? Crazy is just what it is. If you KNOW you dealing with a crazy situation, just deal with it. Stop trying to make it make sense to other folk. It ain’t gonna happen. AND guess what? In the grand scheme of things, what does it matter? Yo’ brand of craziness doesn’t have to ‘work’ for anyone other than you. Confine & control. That’s what your game plan should be: confine & control. Let’s see if we can work that out.

* Looking around asking where “our” leaders are. Asking where is “this” generations MLK Jr, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, Sojourner Truth, Madame CJ Walker, etc. Stand your butt in front of a mirror. If you don’t see none of that in YOU, we got a problem. AND…if you have no intentions of doing anything to further the cause, if you simply plan to sit and tell those doing the dayum thing why it isn’t going to work, stop asking about “this” generations leaders when you have no intention of following them even if they show up with clear documentation & ID. Ugh!

*Blame. Last year, there were lots of ’studies’ and newstories along the lines of “are your friends making you fat?” or “are you friends keeping you broke?”. Take responsibility for YOUR life. Take responsibility for the decisions YOU make (or don’t make). Hell, it’s YOUR life. Folk can’t “MAKE” you do/say/be anything. If something about your life isn’t working, CHANGE it.

* Before you tape your little one singing Bey.once’s entire catalog of songs, before they sing all the latest rap songs…teach them their name, their address and phone number. Make sure they know YOUR real name too.

*Stop dressing your child “sexy” when she’s 4 or 5 and then weeping and wailing when she turns up pregnant at 16. Stop telling her to ’shake whatcha Mama gave you” before she learns her ABC’s.

* Talking ’bout folk under the guise of “helping them”. It don’t matter how many “bless their hearts” you lace the conversation with, how many times you SAY you don’t mean any harm…youse a gossip. Stop it. Stop being so messy. Or at the very least, stop trying to act indignant when your words came back to bite you. Same way YOU talk, folk will talk ABOUT you.

*SPEAKING love but not DOING love. Not BEING love. Not SHOWING love. How long do you really think Love is gonna let you call it out of it’s name before you get tangled up in some ish that will clearly define for you what Love is NOT? I’m just saying….

* Living your life to please other people. Living your life according to someone else’s needs. This is about YOU. Recognize that and get on with the business of living YOUR life according to your needs, your purpose, your needs. Stop skating around the edges of your life - live from the very center of it regardless of what’s going on.

* “Wishing in one hand, spitting in the other”. In other words, what are you waiting for? Who are you waiting for? JUST DO IT! Live. Today. Stop wishing your life away. Just do it. DO something. No matter how small the steps may be, move. Build momentum from those small steps. It’s still progress. Stop waiting for the magical moment and create it, make it happen.

I’d say declare a moratorium on hating on other folks but perhaps that’s too optimistic even for a chocolatey pollyanna like myself. Besides, I see some value in having haters…you can sharpen your skills, your drive, your determination against the jagged edges of their words/actions. Polish your shine against their rough edges. Make it work for you.

So…that’s my quick list of things we need to bury, to let go of, to stop dragging around like a raggedy security blanket. What’s on YOUR list?

Dear 2007,
I’m not sure I know where to start…what to say…or how to say it. Some look at what you ushered into my life and label you “bad”, “wrong”, “ugly”, “scary” but I see something else – I see a teacher, a healer, a revealer. Thank you for teaching me that sometimes, to get the right picture (or get the picture right), I have to step back…or change my perspective, look at things from a different angle. And know that things are always open to different interpretations.

You slowed me down long enough to notice the beauty in the very ordinary – including myself. Slowed me down long enough to do some deep cleaning in my heart, mind, and soul. Slowed me down long enough to learn how to truly breathe. Slowed me down long enough to teach me how to listen to what my life was telling me – to hear it, to really truly HEAR it…not challenging it, not trying to remix the song it brought but simply to listen to it. Slowed me down long enough to clean the windows of my soul, the windows of my heart so that I can truly see clearly now.

Thank you for being my ever-present personal trainer…helping me get stronger, teaching me the true value of patience, showing me how to do the real heavy lifting, how to power lift. The true value of rest. You’ve been the best strength trainer I could have asked for.

No matter what the new year may bring, know that I will always – ALWAYS – value what we shared, the things you taught me, the role you played in taking me deeper into this journey to me. Thank you. For real.

Gratefully & Graciously Yours,
“J”