This is my to-do list for the week:

1. PUSH…with EXTRA emphasis on the P(ray) part
2. Trust God….even ESPECIALLY when it gets hard

I’m trying Lord. I really am but…it’s hard…VERY hard right about now. I know that, if I do these two things, everything else will fall into place. Right? *sigh*

Have you ever found yourself praying and then realized just how selfish you were being? I’m sure none of this catches God by surprise and honestly, it’s not the first time I’ve petitioned Him with a selfish prayer. But…this one really struck me…prolly cause I’ve been praying this same prayer for a while now but with more passion lately.

On the surface, it isn’t really selfish…but when you peep under that first layer? BAM! I may as well say, “Father, please do XYZ cause if You go ABC in THIS instance? Lord, it’s gonna necessitate me doing 1-2-3 and I don’t wanna do 1-2-3. Please Father don’t ask me to do 1-2-3. I’m not strong enough for 1-2-3.” (BTW…I don’t WANNA be strong enough for “1-2-3″ either…cause in my mind, not being strong enough will somehow ward it off…like garlic and vampires.)

My active imagination paints a variety of scenes in my mind. Scenes I try quickly to dismantle because I don’t want my overactive imagination to catch me thinking thoughts that will lead to an “ABC/1-2-3″ reality. As I’m moving around the house, I find myself literally shaking my head and waving my hands in front of my face like I’m trying to clear smoke.

I slow myself down long enough to pray…again…pressing my prayer inside the pages of my journal…and leaving them there…and then busy myself with cleaning and making plans for the holiday. I’m hosting Christmas this year (um…well, that’s the plan at the moment). I keep my mind focused on my intention for the holiday – a gathering of family/friends, lots of laughter, good conversation, sharing memories…creating new memories…putting the macaroni-n-cheese war to rest (at least for THIS year). Leaving my family with heartfelt hugs as they travel back to their respective homes. Closing the door on another wonderful Christmas, lighting the candles, filling the CD player and simply decompressing…and getting ready for my birthday.

Ah yes…my birthday. Generally, I alternate my birthday…one year it’s “Party Time!!”; the next, it’s a quiet, reflective occasion. Sometimes it becomes a combination of sorts. I think this year will be quiet/reflective. That’s certainly subject to change…for the right offer. What? I’m just saying. LOL

Welcome to Monday! Make it count!

Live DELICIOUSLY!!