::: Darn shame I gotta clear away cobwebs & dust bunnies from my blog before sitting down to write. But what else did I expect after that brief hiatus? ::::

Happy Birthday…to ME!!

Yep, today is my born-day. And I am preparing for a day of pure, unadulterated deliciousness! From the massage/manicure/pedicure to brunch to….um…nunya bidness. LOL (Ok, truth be told, I’m starting with a “day” but you know what they say: “Ain’t no party like a MsJayy party, cause a MsJayy party don’t stop!”.)

Generally, I alternate my birthday activities – one year it’s serene & reflective, the next year, it’s party time. This year is SUPPOSED to be serene/reflective BUT I’ve learned to be flexible so, we’ll see how the day unfolds and just be open to all the deliciousness that unfolds.

How could I not? Midnight found me juggling my cellphone with a knock at the door, and a birthday “serenade” (I use the term ‘serenade’ loosely…very, very loosely). So perhaps there will be a merger of serene/reflective and party time. At any rate, whatever comes, I intend to enjoy it to the fullest.

I’ve already had some of the most delicious birthday cake I’ve ever tasted (pineapple upside down cake), a glass of something pretty, purple & potent with pineapple/strawberries garnish, and unwrapped a couple of gifts. And that was all around the midnight hour. LOL Right now I’m dreaming of magic hands and hot stones on my back followed shortly thereafter by brunch….and then? Nosey arses! *snicker*

I hope you’ve had an enjoyable holiday season and that the New Year overflows with all that you need & want.

Abundant blessings to you & yours!
Live DELICIOUSLY!

Love this song. The lyrics. The emotion.

It reminds me that I need to find peace of mind…and stay there. LOL

Some really cool things are lining up for 2008 and I’m holding myself in a space that let’s me sift through them carefully. To say a strong “YES” to those things that will help move me forward, honor my gifts, and free my own personal greatness (which I seem to be holding hostage. Imagine that!). To say a thoughtful “NO” to those things that will simply keep me walking around the edges of what I know I’m meant to saturate myself and my life in. To let go…when letting go is in the air.

Peace of mind.

So much simpler than we make it out to be. Than we tell ourselves. So much simpler. As we edge into a new year, I feel like simplifying, trimming back the nonsense (even self-generated. It’s still “nonsense”.) If I’ve learned nothing else this year, I’ve learned that we tend to hold on to some much nonsense…no matter how much “sense” it made to us whenever it occurred. But carrying all that ish around begins to weigh on your spirit and that is NOT a good look. As we sit on the edge of the old year, I shed more than physical weight so that I can move into the New Year lighter.

Yes, peace of mind.

It’s possible. Lauryn sings about a “he” or “voice” in your head.

Just know this: no matter what that voice in YOUR head says, no matter what or who YOUR “he” is…

It’s possible.

Embrace that. Live it.

IT’S POSSIBLE…

(If you should happen to stumble across this post….let’s just consider it a Christmas gift….from me to you. Yes, you.)

Enjoy your weekend folks! Walk good.

Feeling a tad bit under the weather. And none of Mom’s beefstew on hand to help me fight off the ‘germies’. Ahhh, and yet, I soldier on. Thought I’d share one of my favorite versions of “Silent Night” with you. And um…a post I’ve been playing around with for a while now.

So….hit the play button while you’re reading this

It’s the holiday season. That makes ME smile. I love spending time with my family and friends, laughing, reliving memories, making new memories…just being fully engaged in the business of living. To be sure, that’s not just a “holiday” experience for us. There’s just something about the holiday season that makes it feel…richer, deeper.

Inevitably, I always run across people who moan and groan about how commercialized Christmas has become. Or folks who don’t celebrate Christmas. Or want to regale me with tales of how it began as a pagan holiday, how it’s not “really” Jesus’ birthday, etc….as if I don’t already know that. *smh*

Here’s my take on it:

For those who say it’s become too commercialized…what does that have to do with YOU? Seriously. Because you feel the larger society has reduced the Holiday season to one giant sale doesn’t mean YOU have to buy into it - literally or figuratively. Make it mean what it needs to mean for you and yours. Take a “commercial break”. Change the channel on all the marketing, all the “gimme gimme gimme”. Step outside all of that and find your own Christmas. Step back and decide what works best for you and yours - start your own traditions that aren’t centered around spending outrageous sums of money. AND…don’t be a bah humbug to those who DO buy into all the shininess of mass merchandised Christmas. Respect & reciprocate. It’s just that simple. Seriously.

Bottom line? Celebrate or don’t celebrate. It’s cool either way. Extend some grace…and space…for others to do their thing as well. I mean, it IS the holiday season and whatnot.

Christmas or Any Day

Giving of Ourselves is the perfect way to celebrate the day! How about sharing a gift that anyone can give, afford, and anyone would love to receive?

C -”The gift of Consideration“…This could mean providing genuine understanding of their side of an issue.

H -”Giving of our Heart“…This could mean taking the time to really listen to someone. Feel what they are feeling. Understand who they are and why they are who they are. Try to understand by putting ourselves in their shoes.

R -”Giving others Respect “…This could mean giving someone your full attention, giving someone space to grow, respect others for simply being not for the possessions they may hold.

I -”The Gift of Inspiration“…This could mean by planting the seeds of courage and action in the heart of another.

S -”Giving of our Soul“…This could mean giving of ourselves at a spiritual level. It may be in the form of praying for somebody. It may involve meditating on helping someone else and uncovering solutions to their problems. Or, it may be by doing something such as sending off positive healing and energy vibes.

T -”Giving of our Time “…This could be taking time to provide a listening ear to someone in need, offer prayer, send cards to the sick and shut ins, organize an event, volunteer your time.

M -”Giving unconditional love all Mankind“…This could mean giving someone some of what is inside of our soul, sharing with them our time, talents and treasures that we have been given.

A -”The Gift of Attention“… This could mean when another person speaks listening attentively. If their words are directed to us, we should make eye contact so that the other knows we are truly listening.

S -”Giving of our Space“…This could mean doing something like letting someone go ahead of us in a line. This could be opening our doors and inviting our neighbours into our homes. Or, we could simply be generous in giving people the space to be whoever they want to be. Let’s not judge others so quickly; let’s increase our level of acceptance.

– Author Unknown

“There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” –Albert Einstein

** What’s up Blogworld? It’s been a minute, huh? Much going on here, M-U-C-H. Waiting on some news today. (TWBDL, TWBD. Amen) Anywho…I’ve been listening to this song lately. LOVE IT! Love it so much, it inspired me to pen a little something something. Enjoy! Happy Wednesday!!

Yes!! If you’ve been here before, you know that on ocassion, I have a sometimes love/hate relationship with Essence Magazine. I just got my January 2008 issue. Mix of topics on the cover - “Denzel/Oprah’s Must-See Movie”, “Perfect Jeans”, “Ageless Beauties” (um, that sister in the orange strapless dress? Is it just me or is that dress NOT for her??), “Juanita Bynum” (part II…*sigh*)….

I flip through the first few pages of ads, skim the detailed table of contents and land here - on the “Getting the Life I Deserve” Pledge. Editor-in-Chief Angela Burt Murray suggests grabbing a friend, making copies of this pledge, completing it and doing regular check-ups with your friend through the year to be sure you’re on track.

Interesting. I’m working on something similar. so this works for me…trying to figure out how to merge this with my own idea. Tell me what YOU think about Essence’s pledge:

This is my hear to be the woman I’ve always wanted to be. This year I will put
___________________ (your name) first. Starting _____________ (today’s date), I will focus on taking the steps to achieve my goals. Ever since _____________________________________, I’ve known that I want to __________________________________________________________________________.

Today I will create a plan to realize my dreams.

1. ___________________________________________________________________

2. ___________________________________________________________________

3. ___________________________________________________________________

4. ___________________________________________________________________

Negative factors, real and imagined, will no longer be obstacles to my success. To get over _____________________ (Obstacle #1), I will stop _______________________________________.

To get over ___________________________ (Obstacle #2), I will pray that ________________________.

To get over ___________________________ (Obstacle #3), I will plan to __________________________.

I know that I will be successful because it is my dream to _______________________________________.

To stay on track, I will have my friend ____________________________ (friend’s name) check in on my progress every week/month/quarter (choose one) and hold me accountable.

This is my personal 2008 pledge to myself so that I can realize my dreams and live the wonderful life I fully deserve!

________________________________________ (Your Signature)

I mentioned to my friend Princess Dominique that 2008 would be, among other things, “The Year of the Ex’s”. Meaning….exposing, experiencing, experimenting, expressing. Exposing myself to more things that pique my interest, that I’ve wanted to try/learn/do. Exposing my talents to more people (time to stop sitting on what another friend calls my “Million Dollar Crate”…the one holding all my projects-in-progress). Experiencing new things, places, cultures…just soaking up as much LIFE as I can stand. Experimenting with what works for me, what doesn’t, tweaking things until they’re jusssst right…living outside the box, expanding my horizons, learning to be pleasantly uncomfortable as I shed the shackles of my comfort zone. Expressing myself…what I feel - truly letting myself feel it and OWNING that emotion - good, bad or indifferent. Saying what I mean, meaning what I say…all without apology. Infuse every crevice of my life with as much JOY as I can stand and swim (or float) around right in the middle of it…step away from the edges and dive right in.

So many times, we move into a “new” situation (be it a new relationship, a new job, a new house, a new car, a new year) with the same “old” way of thinking and have the nerve to expect ’something’ to be different when in actuality the one thing that truly needs to be different (and the only thing over which we have any control) is US. To me, this pledge is a signal that YOU are ready to BE/DO/HAVE/DREAM/BUILD “different”.

In a few weeks, folks will start making their New Year’s Resolutions. Others will start grumbling about how resolutions don’t work. That always makes me laugh. Why? Cause the “resolution” itself WON’T do the dayum work - that’s YOUR job. Sheesh! It’s about putting the words out there, stating your clear intention to do/be/have whatever and then matching your actions to those words step by step, little by little, day by day. Committing to it on Day One. Then getting up each and every day ready to RECOMMIT to it again.

So…you decide….

First, what IS the life you deserve? (Untangle YOUR heart’s desire from the things people have told you that you can/not do/have. Be still and just listen to your spirit & heart speak. Let that be your compass. Not what somebody else says, thinks or does. This time it really is ALL ABOUT YOU!)

Second, what’s it worth to you? What are you willing to do to get there? What are you willing to say “NO” to in order to move forward? And…what are you willing to say “YES” to? What’s negotiable? What’s non-negotiable?

Third, are you willing to commit to it each and every day, no matter how tough it gets, no matter how many “obstacles” come your way, when you slip? How will YOU motivate yourself?

Don’t get caught up in the missteps. It’s about the JOURNEY - not the destination.

Travel well!

Live DELICIOUSLY!!

:::off to contemplate my list…and my accountability partner:::

“You can achieve anything you want in life if you have the courage to dream it, the intelligence to make a realistic plan, and the will to see that plan through to the end.” ~ Sidney A. Friedman

Soooo…I’m up this morning listening to The Tom Joyner Morning Show, anticipating hearing Jaheim SANG live this A.M. when they drop a bonus (for me anyway) - Jacque Reid interviewing Bishop Thomas Weeks, III.

In-ta-rest-ing. Course you get all the usual lawyer-speak…”ongoing case…caution client…can’t speak about that”. It ALWAYS leaves me wondering what da heck da point is of the “interview”. Ahhhhh, but you say, Bishop has a new book available for sale. “What Love Taught Me”. (SIDENOTE: I don’t know what happened in that parking lot BUT I do know that it ain’t have JACK to do with LOVE. Now you know what I mean in my promo stuff for “Love’s Reparations” when I say that for far too long, we’ve called LOVE out of its name. *SIGH* Perhaps I should send off a couple of copies to the estranged couple.)

Anywho, what I found interesting about the interview is that Weeks says he never touched Bynum and that the REAL question is where did the bruises come from. Wow. He claims that pics were displayed online and to TV stations BEFORE the po-po.

AND that Bynum wanted to be the “next” Oprah. (Lawd, can ya let Oprah FINISH being Oprah? Dang!) Really? R-E-A-L-L-Y? Wow. Poor Gayle.

Last week while listening to the same radio show, they had Tyler Perry on promoting the new episodes of “House of Payne”. The Morning Crew had recently spent time interviewing the cast from “This Christmas” (Gabrielle Union, Morris Chestnut, Fasion Love). When TJMS crew asked Tyler about “This Christmas”, he asked why they had to take a swipe at his movies by having characters named “Ma’Deah” and “Joe”. He was serious. I thought he was joking. But um…nope. Wow. He did wish them well and say how glad he was that more movies for/about us were being made. Sooooo….you know, I didn’t even make the connection between “Ma’Deah” and “Joe” until he said it. Why? Cause I know many folk with a “Ma’Deah” and um…”Joe” is also very common. *shrug* I don’t think anyone was trying to bite Tyler’s jock but then…that’s just me.

In my mini-therapy session (translation: housecleaning spree), I came across a box of books. Yummy! (Well, MOSTLY Yummy!). I picked up one & thumbed through it. I stumbled across this comment in regards to Jill Scott….the author thought Jill Scott was “too snotty for a fat girl”. W-T-F?? So we excusing snottiness if it comes in size 0-12 but anything over size 12 is unflattering? See, I pretty much find snottiness unattractive regardless of size. I always took it to be one-size-fits-all and not becoming on ANYONE. (Not to say that I’ve ever heard anyone say Jill was snotty…other than in this book…that I’m mad is even in my possession - it was quite accidental, trust me - so…no, I’m not giving the title.)

Have you read the story about the white teen who is now president of the student chapter of the NAACP on Georgetown University’s campus? She was elected last year. Folks are surprised. Why? While it’s not widespread, there are other white leaders in other chapters of this organization. Some folks are bothered by it? Why? “White” is a color right? Ok, I’m being silly but….some of these same folks looked like they were ’bout to have a stroke when I mentioned that there are white students matriculating on the campuses of “historically” Black colleges in large numbers (I’ve been told that there are some “historically” Black colleges that are now “predominately” White.) Does that bother you? That a non-white person would lead a chapter of the NAACP? Or that some “historically” Black colleges may now be “predominately” White? *shrug*

I’m just saying….let some folk tell it and ALL of the above is some M-E-S-S. Supersized.

Oh…does anybody write/sing ORIGINAL Christmas songs? I mean, I love “Joy to the World”, “Silent Night”, etc. as much as the next person BUT…is SWV’s version THAT different from Vanessa Williams or Patti LaBelle, etc? I’m just saying…

Now if I can just get the Latin version of “O Come All Ye Faithful” out of my head…we had to learn it in 4th grade in Ms. Dotson’s class. I guess I was so scared of her, I’ve held onto it all these years. What? You never know when you might run into her. Shoot, I keep telling ya’ll my hometown is small as my house. Ya’ll thought I was kidding? Ha!

And um…Michael Vick goes to court again today. So…downtown is going to be a hot, crowded mess today (and you KNOW folks gon’ be out there - it’s supposed to be 72 today). Translation: J’s interview will NOT be happening today. Hmmm…now that I think about it, it prolly means more of that riveting news coverage breaking into tv programming all day while they report “nothing”…”Michael Vick entered court through the back doors today since he’s already serving his sentence”, “Michael Vick has arrived at court just minutes before his sentencing is to begin”, “Protestors and supporters have lined up near the courthouse”, etc. How ’bout ya’ll just wait and give us the news AFTER the sentencing has been levied?

**UPDATE: 10:50am -23 months….that’s the sentence…23 months…less than the 60 many had hoped/lobbied for, more than his co-defendants…$5100 fine; 3 years of supervised probation…

Why did this woman just ask what he wore to court? What do YOU think he wore? By the time today’s sentencing rolled around, Vick - having already turned himself in - was a PRISONER…complete with black/white jumpsuit and prison number. Sheesh! The man turned himself in a few weeks ago - he’s a prisoner. AND…what frigging difference does his ensemble make? Sweet Jesus part the sky!! UGH!!

This is my to-do list for the week:

1. PUSH…with EXTRA emphasis on the P(ray) part
2. Trust God….even ESPECIALLY when it gets hard

I’m trying Lord. I really am but…it’s hard…VERY hard right about now. I know that, if I do these two things, everything else will fall into place. Right? *sigh*

Have you ever found yourself praying and then realized just how selfish you were being? I’m sure none of this catches God by surprise and honestly, it’s not the first time I’ve petitioned Him with a selfish prayer. But…this one really struck me…prolly cause I’ve been praying this same prayer for a while now but with more passion lately.

On the surface, it isn’t really selfish…but when you peep under that first layer? BAM! I may as well say, “Father, please do XYZ cause if You go ABC in THIS instance? Lord, it’s gonna necessitate me doing 1-2-3 and I don’t wanna do 1-2-3. Please Father don’t ask me to do 1-2-3. I’m not strong enough for 1-2-3.” (BTW…I don’t WANNA be strong enough for “1-2-3″ either…cause in my mind, not being strong enough will somehow ward it off…like garlic and vampires.)

My active imagination paints a variety of scenes in my mind. Scenes I try quickly to dismantle because I don’t want my overactive imagination to catch me thinking thoughts that will lead to an “ABC/1-2-3″ reality. As I’m moving around the house, I find myself literally shaking my head and waving my hands in front of my face like I’m trying to clear smoke.

I slow myself down long enough to pray…again…pressing my prayer inside the pages of my journal…and leaving them there…and then busy myself with cleaning and making plans for the holiday. I’m hosting Christmas this year (um…well, that’s the plan at the moment). I keep my mind focused on my intention for the holiday – a gathering of family/friends, lots of laughter, good conversation, sharing memories…creating new memories…putting the macaroni-n-cheese war to rest (at least for THIS year). Leaving my family with heartfelt hugs as they travel back to their respective homes. Closing the door on another wonderful Christmas, lighting the candles, filling the CD player and simply decompressing…and getting ready for my birthday.

Ah yes…my birthday. Generally, I alternate my birthday…one year it’s “Party Time!!”; the next, it’s a quiet, reflective occasion. Sometimes it becomes a combination of sorts. I think this year will be quiet/reflective. That’s certainly subject to change…for the right offer. What? I’m just saying. LOL

Welcome to Monday! Make it count!

Live DELICIOUSLY!!

If I had to pick a theme song for my life right about now, it would be “JUST FINE” by Mary J. Blige.

Talk about an infectious beat! I dare you to play that song and NOT find yourself dancing. Bayyybeeee, that’s the one right about now.

Now part the reason it would be my theme IS simply it is banging! If it pulls me up out of my seat, that’s the one. The main reason it would be my theme is because that’s how I’m feeling right now – “Just Fine”. And like MJB, I wouldn’t change my life right now. It works. Even when I put my hands all up in the midst of things…or try to.

I hit a bump this week dealing with a few tidbits of news that left me feeling unsettled, then folks were moving slow (ok…too slow for me) in terms of doing what they said. All that solo “heavy lifting” got to me for a minute and the walls …came…tumbling…down. I hit that bump & skurred a few folk. (Sorry Boo. I’m back, my smile intact & er’ythang)

I took a look at my scaled down To-Do list and realized I had gotten it twisted.

Original list
1. Call plumber
2. Drop bills
3. Schedule repairs
4. Finish apps/mail
5. Trust God

Revised list:
1. Trust God
a. Call plumber
b. Drop bills
c. Schedule repairs
d. Finish apps/mail

See, when the walls came tumbling down, I had to drop back a minute, slow things down. All that heavy lifting. And I remembered blogging about that a while back. How they tell you when you’re lifting to bend your knees, lift from your knees…prayer position…from your knees….

Yes, I am JUST FINE indeed. And knowing where I’ve been? Baby, that is ALL the reason I need to celebrate.

Take it to the bridge Mary J!

C’mon. Do the WOP with me ya’ll.

You know you want to. Don’t front!

Enjoy your weekend!

(What’s not to enjoy? FavCus#1 gets to take her PhD walk tomorrow. Jill Scott concert tics go on sale next week. Ledisi has been nominated for a Grammy or two. And me? I’m enjoying a mug of mango tea and brewing up something poetic. My life? JUST FINE. Trust & believe! Smooches!!)

Oh, here’s the link to the video should you wanna rock to that:
“Mary J Blige - Just Fine”

Stay warm! Be safe!

Live DELICIOUSLY!!

We’re fast approaching the end of 2007. B-R-E-A-T-H-E.

Many years ago, I started a ritual of really sitting & looking at the year in retrospect - what I’d learned, accomplished, let go of, had trouble with, tried to do, etc. Not from a “poor poor pitiful me” standpoint but to help move forward more effectively in the new year. Well, it’s that time of year ago and my mind is working. I’m churning through the good/bad/ugly of 2007 while I plan for the breathing room, growth & blessings of 2008.

I asked this question of some people yesterday – “What’s on your radar for 2008? What’s the highest goal you have for yourself as you move into the New Year?”

It generated some interesting comments. I ended the evening having the same conversation with a small group of people and one of them shocked us all with her response because it was framed…well…negatively. Initially, I was ready to suit up and ride to her rescue. Initially. But you know what? Folks have to learn to save themselves…or at least wave you in when they hit the deep end of the pool. She was hell-bent on shutting folk out, even if it stunted HER growth and nothing my other friends said to her about narrow-minded people softened her heart/mind not one itty bitty bit. People were watching & waiting for her to fall, to stumble; they were watching & waiting for her to fail. And so, she began to build those walls….you know the ones. The ones that keep people out. Funny thing is, they also keep blessings out. So, we cautioned her simply thusly: don’t let what someone else predicts for you be your guide; don’t let other people’s thoughts/actions make you act that far outside of who you are.

Here’s a portion of what I shared with some other folk…

You know, life is short and the way I look at it, IF YOUR MIND IS SMALL, SO IS YOUR LIFE. If you can’t begin to comprehend the possibilities of YOU, Baby…you ain’t EVEN ready for the REALITIES of ME. I have no time or energy for that. I have learned to walk wide circles around crazy, all day, every day. Last year was an eye-opener for me. Published my book in December, took 3 weeks of vacation, on the 2nd day back in the office I was told my job of 20 years would end in 30 days.

I cannot tell you how many people are laying in the cut waiting to see me fall on my face. Why folk need to see others struggling or doing poorly is behind me. But me & the REAL CEO got news for them. I have told more than one person that while I may not have a job, God always has a plan. Ha!

My latest motto/mantra? “IT’S NOT WHAT YOU LOOK AT, IT’S WHAT YOU SEE!”

So you watching and waiting for me to fall. That’s cool. If that’s how you want to spend your time. (There are NO refunds on time though. Think about THAT as you move deeper into YOUR day). And I’m probably going to fall…or at the very least, I’m going to stumble. But guess what? I’m going to fall but more importantly, I’m going to get up. THAT’S what you need to watch: the getting up part. It’s HOW we get up that’s important.

*Ding* Light bulb just went off in my head. One day last week, I stepped on something and my right leg slid from under me. Well, I have a bum knee on my left leg so guess what? I heard it pop, felt some pain, and landed on my plentiful arse. In pain. Left leg bent at some awkward angle, hurting like hell. Did I shed some tears? HELL YEAH! That ish HURTED! (Yes, the ‘ed’ is for emphasis on the pain.) So, I tried to get up. Now how can I do that when I can’t put but so much pressure on my left leg? AND did I mention it was at an awkward angle? So…I dried my tears. And I sat there, in that awkward position. Not struggling. Not panicking. Simply looking around, taking in all my options, surveying the land so to speak. When I figured it out, I got up. Minimal pain. And with more information to use if it ever happens again. That’s the part most folk miss cause they’re too pushing watching “the fall”. *shrug*

To this day, I know someone who is seriously irritated that I’m not working nor am I scrambling or struggling. I don’t know why it bothers this person…or anyone else. It’s costing them nothing…but those valuable minutes they waste in knots over something that doesn’t impact them.

You know the devil whispers in my ear soft and sweet every day, “Call that heffa when she gets to work and laugh in her face!”. But God hugs me and says, “Now Jay, you know she got a meeting to go to!”

LOL

Bottom line: You can be bitter…or you can be better.

Guess which path I took?

** Somebody hit the jingle! I’m out! **

Be well!