I wrote this piece a while back. When I was trying to find some peace, some “logic” behind the “why” of a relationship that went awry. I’d like to say it was a situation where I was “absolved” of any responsibility in the “demise” of what probably never should have been in the first place. More to the point, the “demise” of what turned out to be exactly what it was meant to be - a learning experience. I would receive no absolution this time.

I was drawn to him for many reasons - he’s intellect, sense of humor, common interests, etc. Did I mention that he’s attractive? But I think what drew me the most, the phemerone that pulled me closest to him? BROKENNESS. In spite of everything we see as his exterior, I sensed some wounds. And that’s all I needed. I donned my rescue outfit and headed into deep water. Not realizing that it was my own reflection that I saw - in the water…and in him.

Make no mistake about it - I realized in the moment that I had some “chips” (though I probably wouldn’t have labeled it ‘brokenness’…even though that’s what it was). I thought since they were “chips”, we could smooth those over and love our way through them…especially while “we” were working to repair “his” breaks. Repeat after me: “Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the most broken one of all?” Can you imagine how I felt when the “mirror” answered “YOU”? Ha!

No one is responsible for your healing other than you. People can be instruments IN that healing but ultimately, it’s on you. In the end, the battle to heal yourself, to love and be loved, to be whole, healthy & happy is YOURS. (Check the job description if you don’t believe me.)

If you’re not ready, willing and able to step into the battle, don’t recruit others.

Live DELICIOUSLY!
~ J ~