What’s up Bloggeroos? Your girl is under the weather. *Sigh* A summer cold/flu ain’t no joke! My mind is full of mush. And you ask, “How is that NEW?” See? That’s just one of the many reasons I lub you. Anywho, I can’t seem to get a coherent post together so I’m passing on some thing a friend shared with me not long ago. Hope you’re having a much better day than you plannned!

Yesterday while I was surfing the net, I discovered that my blog had been linked to a list of 400+ Personal Devleopment Blogs. Wow. I’m flattered. Last week, my girl Single Ma was tagged for the list (and rightly so - that sistah ain’t no joke ya’ll! Her link is to the right under “Bloggerati”). Cool beans for a chick who’s simply talking out loud to herself most days, huh?

Be well!

“Joy is what we are, not what we must get.
Joy is the realization that all we want or need in life
has been etched into our souls.
Joy helps us see not what we are “going through”
but what we are “growing to” – a greater sense of understanding,
accomplishment, and enlightenment.
Joy reveals to us the calm at the end of the storm,
the peace that surpasses the momentary happiness of pleasure.
If we keep our minds centered on joy, joy becomes a state of mind.”

~ Iyanla Vanzant ~

I found myself tripping through some things yesterday. Tripping. Not falling. Tripping. How easy it would have been to simply do what I’ve always done – snapped at someone, pulled deep inside myself, closed my ears to God’s voice in the wind…

Instead, I choose the path of growth – I remind myself that JOY has no shortcuts, isn’t always about being in my comfort zone, requires “more”. And so, I remind myself that, above all, JOY is the “thing” I choose for myself. I remind myself that it’s not the destination that I should focus on, it’s the journey and that I need to conserve my energy – mental, physical, etc.- for the things that truly matter.

I remind myself that sometimes letting go takes more strength than holding on.That nothing can chip away at my joy without going through me. I remind myself that I my role is simple – ask for what I want, surrender the “how” to God, and trust Him to deliver what I need even when that differs from what I tell myself I want.

I remind myself that joy is the foundation for everything else that I want for myself, my family, my friends…the world. Joy is the soil in which all the “good stuff” is planted – love, peace, abundance, etc.

I remind myself that joy should be my constant companion. Just like Visa – never leave home without it.

I remind myself that, what Life requires of me, what JOY needs from me is consciousness. To consciously choose JOY every day. To commit to JOY every day. I never want choosing JOY to become a “habit”. Habits are those things we do without thinking about it.

But JOY? I want to be fully connected to this journey wherever it leads. I want to be fully awake to every morsel of JOY that enters my life – no matter how big or how small, no matter how temporary or how permanent. I want to be fully present each and every time I choose JOY.

I want to be conscious of the fact that I am choosing it and that prayerfully, it’s choosing me back.

I was discussing poetry and poets with someone a few weeks ago and I happened to mention that Pablo Neruda is one of my favorite poets. They weren’t familar with Neruda so I had to break it down for them. Here’s a sample. And if you’re a poetry lover, check out some of his other work. Beautiful. Stark. Simple. Delicious.

I’ve had this poem in my blog post queue for a while now. I read a poem this morning by my friend & fellow poet Princess Dominique that lauded tangerines. Had me digging through my private stash for a poem that references mangoes or pears or grapes….

I can’t even go to the grocery store now cause I could get arrested in the fruit aisle for my lecherous thoughts. I can just see me now, standing there, hand deep in the fruit case, just the hint of a smile kissing my face, slight shivers tickling my spine. Shameful! LOL

Reminds me of the time I was shopping for salad fixings. I happened to be singing Anita Baker’s “You Bring Me Joy” softly as I picked over the heads of lettuce, tomatos and cucumbers. I confessed in the 200 Silly Facts About Me that I don’t like squishy fruit or veggies so I’m standing there singing to myself, trying to find the “right” cucumber when this brother walks up. Now, in my peripheral vision, I noticed someone near me but I was focused. You know how to pick a…um…firm cucumber right?

The brother started laughing and I looked over at him. He said, “Somehow, I don’t think I was supposed to see that.”

Bwwwwwaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaaa!

A friend once what I did if/when I had a “craving”. I laughed because my response surely would depend on what it is/was that I was “craving”.

Right now? I have a few cravings and so, I’m trying to move my life in such a direction as to be open to receive the answer to that craving.

I find myself craving PEACE…huge, soul-cleansing waves of peace. There is so much going on in our world, in our individual lives. I’m finding ways on a daily basis to restore a sense of peace to my spirit, to bring calm back to my mind. Quiet prayer in the middle of whatever is happening does that for me, helps me get back to center. Even if the prayer is simply, “Thank you” or “Father, yes”. Peace. I work through the clutter in my life - physical clutter, mental clutter, emotional clutter. I’m learning to not only LAY my burdens down but to LEAVE them down.

I find myself craving JOY…deep, soul-infusing constant streams of joy. Happiness is fickle, it tends to wait for just the “right” situation but JOY? JOY shows up in spite of the situation, regardless of the situation, in defiance of the situation. JOY isn’t reckless. Just confident. JOY knows that, despite how things look to the “naked eye”, this too shall pass. When your relationship ends and you’re in pain, Happiness seems to disappear. When you lose your job and the bills keep coming, Happiness wrings its hands. When our kids are treated as if they’re disposable, Happiness shrinks in to itself. But JOY? JOY will step boldly into the situation without hesitation or reservation and sing loud and off-key, “And I am telling you….I’m not going!”

I find myself craving WISDOM, INSIGHT…deep, soul-sharpening chunks of wisdom & insight. And so, I let life become my teacher, let life set the lesson plan while I focus on what’s happening in this life-long classroom. I used to chastise myself when I thought I’d “failed” one of life’s lessons but I’m learning that sometimes what I think was that was my spiritual SAT (Soul Attacking Trial) was simply the pre-test, the opportunity to really prepare for the lesson. I’ve also learned that there are many ways to ace the tests but you cannot cheat. Cheating will have you sitting in spiritual special ed, retaking the test until you master that specific lesson.

I find myself craving TRUTH, HONESTY…deep, soul-illuminating rays of TRUTH. It is an interesting craving. I find that many of us *say* we want TRUTH but when it shows up, naked and unashamed, we tend to backpedal cause TRUTH isn’t always pretty and it has some magical reflective properties to it. The thing about TRUTH is that, it doesn’t require a lot of dressing up. It doesn’t have to be rude, obnoxious, mean-spirited. Nor does it whisper its essence into the room. It doesn’t try to slink in unnoticed. It simply shows up. TRUTH knows who it is and can’t be shaken from its foundation regardless of how fabulous its imitator may be. TRUTH can be an interesting concept - what’s true for me may not be true for you but it’s still true. I’ve learned that not all truths are mine to tell and that some truths have timing issues. A truth-speaking friend of mine who does NOT dress it up in any way, shape, form, or fashion says that I’m very “diplomatic” with the truth. Perhaps. Perhaps to paraphrase the Sears motto, I want you to see “the softer side”. People hear truth through different filters so I try to adjust my delivery based on the situation - some people need that ’soft’ truth, others need the ‘in your face’ truth. (NOTE: I said adjust my DELIVERY - not the TRUTH). The goal is to simply live true, speak true, act true - regardless of delivery method.

I find myself craving INTIMACY - deep soul-quenching shockwaves of it that hug my spirit without ceasing.INTIMACY. Not “sex”. INTIMACY. In all my ‘top-tier’ relationships. I want to go deeper, to get naked, to simply be FREE, to find grace permeating our interactions. To find that place where I can simple shed all the barriers, deconstruct all the walls, pack away every single mask I’ve ever worn, and just show up as who I am knowing that THAT is all that’s required of me. To be scared if that’s what I feel. Or to be mad. To be able to talk about any and everything…or nothing at all. To know that my words - and my silence - are understood. To be able to dream - big, boldy, beautifully. To say that I hurt. That I’m lonely. That I messed up. That I don’t understand. That I don’t have the answer and that I’m not even sure of the question. To simply be who I am, feel what I feel, think what I think, want what I want, look how I look - without apology. And yes, it does apply to “him” who is being prepared for me just as I am being prepared for him.

I find myself craving simple pleasures - hearing kids laugh, watching them play. Good music. Good books. Poetry - lots and lots of poetry. Flowers. Jellybeans. Candles. Bubble baths. Delicious smelling and feeling bath products. The feel of silk across my skin. Thunderstorms. Spring showers. Sitting by the water. Walks in the park. Watching the leaves dress themselves in Fall colors. Good conversation. Laughter. Silence.

When I crave these things…PEACE, JOY, WISDOM/INSIGHT, TRUTH/HONESTY, INTIMACY, SIMPLE PLEASURES…I simply slow down long enough to realize that they are within my reach. And so I do. I reach. I reach out. I reach within. I touch. I embrace. I listen. I laugh.

I reciprocate.

And to answer that question from my friend, what do I do when I have a “craving”….
To you, I say this…
I’ll never tell. Ha!

*~*~*~*~

Be well.
Be bold.
Be free.
Be love.
Be you.
BE.

Live DELICIOUSLY!

For those of you who can’t view this, here’s the link to YouTube….“No One - Alicia Keys”

I just had a convo with a friend Friday about new music. Ahhhhh! Me love good music!

Guess who double-blogged today? Don’t faint!

I feel some poetry coming on. I’m feeling this song…raspy voice and all.

Blessing ALL you have.

Not just the stuff you LIKE.

Not just the stuff you WANTED.

Not just the “pretty” stuff, the “sweet” stuff, the “easy” stuff, the “good” stuff, the “presentable” stuff…

BLESS IT ALL.

While we tend to get caught up in the “wrapper”, in the grand scheme of things…it ALL serves a purpose.

In the midst of the mind-muddle that’s going on in my life, my soul cries. It cries because of stories like Jena 6, The Cradle-to-the-Prison Pipeline, a news report on Friday saying that in three days the country of Zimbabwe would have absolutely no wheat (but they do have 80% unemployment & 7000% inflation), the “war” in Iraq, the fact that there is still so much work to be done, so much turmoil on the Gulf Coast, etc.

To be clear, saying my soul cries does not mean that I’m depressed. It’s not me hiding behind the problems of the world instead of dealing with my own. Simply put, saying my soul cries is me…being beautifully human. Life is filled with so many “ordinary” beautiful moments that we tend to take for granted. We are so used to hearing the negative, of seeing what’s ugly that we sometimes miss the beauty of a child’s laughter, the subtle glance between two people who genuinely care for each other, flowers that spring up in the strangest of places blooming wild and free.

I slow myself down long enough to catch my breath. To tune out stories about Sh.aq & his wife divorcing, Ha.lle Ber.ry’s pregnancy, Brit.tany Spe.ar’s “comeback”, Mich.ael Vi.ck, “yo-yo of the year” Ki.m Por.ter and her ‘relationship’ with Puffy/Diddy/Daddy/Dummy. In the grand scheme of things, what do any of these things - though sufficiently “bright and shiny” - add to the quality of my life? Get the message and the lesson and keep it moving.

I sit in my house, A/C blowing, lights/water/telephone/gas all working; car note paid; food in the fridge; clothes tossed carelessly across my bed; stepping over more pairs of shoes than I can count; thumbing through piles and piles of books, magazines, CDs; gas in the car. Yes, there are some bumps…the letter from the lawyer, a small stack of bills to be paid, miscellaneous squabbles with family/friends, etc. But in the grand scheme of things, you can combine all those “bumps”, multiply and square them and they cannot even come close to how ridiculously blessed I am. Even in the midst of “mess”, much of my own making.

For ALL of this, every soul-shaping moment of it, I say boldly THANK YOU.

May your day be filled with so many beautiful blessings that you can’t name or number them. From my heart…to yours….Be Well!

Live Deliciously!

**Still dealing with a little “mental molasses” residue so I’m taking an extended “Pajama Day” while I contemplate life, love, laughter, learning…and my role in it. Enjoy your weekend My Lovelies! **

STRESS MANAGEMENT

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.”

“If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a
day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.”

“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can. Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!”

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

* Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

* Drive carefully. It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

* If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

* Never buy a car you can’t push.

* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

* Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

* Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

* The second mouse gets the cheese.

* When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

* You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

* A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

:::: And for the record, NO - I don’t look/feel like that woman in the pic attached to this post. I’m not “stressed”…I’m merely strategizing…trying to figure out how to take it to the next level. For real. ::::

Morning Beautiful People!
Not feeling bloggish today so, I’m gonna drop a couple of my favorite pieces from a poet/friend and then jet. I’ve been harrassing encouraging that brother to spring his website on the world so folks can just come by, saturate themselves in the poetics, and chill. We’ll see.

Without further adieu, I give you Cali’s own…Ted Bell. (Um, Mr. Man, I know I said I’d post “one” of my favorites but ‘member what I had said about not liking odd numbers? ‘K *giggles*). Oh yeah, his poetry collection is “To C, From G”.

DREAMER

Dreamers dance
on the shores of insanity
always believing that
every roaring wave
can turn into a gentle
pool of reality

when I tell my dreams of you
some think of me as crazy
because I loved you
even before you kniew me
yesterday’s dreams had me living
in your early morning smiles
yesterday’s imaginations
had us tangled and entwined
within eternal bliss where
kissing your lips is my first,
second and third wish

my dreams creep
slowly leaking into reality
and soon…You and me
become…”We”

and we make light
and we make love
and we make life
and our souls take love,
embracing it by the seams
so these doubters can see
that to be truly insane
is not having the ability
…to dream

© Ted Bell