LOVE AFTER LOVE (by Derek Walcott)

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf, the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

© Derek Walcott

What a beautiful weekend I had…from start to finish. FavCus#1 and I gathered at her house Friday night with two of her neighbors who I laughingly dubbed “the Martini Virgins”. (They are no more. LOL) What a great time we had. Each person brought something to nibble on, FavCus#1 played bartender/DJ, and we laughed and talked the night away. Stirred up some coffee with kahlua to go with our dessert. Before we knew it, it was 12:30am and we were vowing to do this again. Soon.

Saturday, I hung out with my friend T who is such a beautiful person – inside and out. T is another person who finds tremendous joy in EVERYTHING she does. We attended a booksigning/reading for an amazing poet out of DC, I made some connections with a local bookstore owner whose spirit just oozed peace and purpose. T and I shoe-shopped where I fell into two pairs of straight up s-i-n. (Somehow, I managed to walk away though I do here those wicked things calling to me still. I’m trying to be strong.) We popped into a couple of stores and then headed to Outback to enjoy dinner and more conversation. A 10-hour day where not a single second was not full of laughter, fun, joy.

Today? I’m chilling. Being grateful for life. Being grateful for simply being me and letting that be more than enough. Wondering through my poetry collections, I stumbled upon that Derek Walcott poem. It truly truly makes my heart sing and is the absolute perfect way to cap off this sunny, joy-filled weekend. And you know what? I hope that your weekend was even more sunny, joy-filled. You deserve it.

Live DELICIOUSLY!

*SIGH*

I typed out a beautifully engaging, breathtaking post. And Wordpress ate it.

The condensed version? There’s a lot going on in my mind. And in my world. I’m going to grab some quality time with friends this weekend, enjoy the good stuff (conversation, laughter, music), and simply be grateful for all my blessings. If you’ve had a rough week, an “interesting” week, here’s your chance to “EXFOLIATE”. To decompress, to slough off all the rough spots and nonsense, to wash away the grime of the week, and to soak up all the softness of life. To rejuvenate yourself, CONNECT, go deeper.

All those loose thoughts and soul-expanding questions that are roaming around unescorted in my head? I’m popping them into some mental Tupperware. I’m tucking away the mental cliffnotes. In the jumble of my life, sometimes I struggle too much to make sense of things, to make them fit instead of simply accepting them as they arrive, as they are and trusting that the meaning, the purpose of it all will come in time.

So on a daily basis, in the midst of living, I try to quiet my mind, my heart, my spirit long enough to lay them open to what God is saying to me. Some days it works better than others. But I push through it. Slowly. Steadily. Knowing there’s something more just over that horizon, over whatever rut I’m “resting” in, over whatever mountain I tell myself I can’t climb. And I remind myself that even small steps equate to progress. I remind myself of that A LOT. I remind myself that this isn’t me going “THROUGH”, it’s me going “TO”. I remind myself to COUNT IT ALL JOY. And more importantly, I remind myself that I am not alone, that He has the master plan, and that He didn’t bring me this far to leave me.

This weekend? I’m just going to hang out with some friends, hit a booksigning/poetry reading tomorrow and stretch out in the fullness of this wonderful life of mine. Yep, even with the bumps, the unknowns. There’s beauty in all of that. Fertilizer from which to grow.

And so, here we are. Friday. The threshold of the weekend. And I find myself on the standing on the threshold of something else…bigger, deeper, better. Something more.

Enjoy your weekend. Don’t forget to “EXFOLIATE” .
And…COUNT IT ALL JOY!!

Live DELICIOUSLY!

I caught the tail-end of Oprah’s show yesterday. The topic? Divorce and how you tell your kids (or not tell them) has a great impact on them.

One of the things that I found most interesting in the last 20 minutes of the show is the expert who says that if, as a parent, you think your kids are going to come to you with their deepest, darkest secret, you’re crazy. When Oprah asked why kids wouldn’t do this, the expert said “Out of shame”.

He went on to share how he and his wife have addressed this with their five kids. They sat down with the kids and two adults that they as parents trust and respect. They told their kids that they are free to come to them with anything and know that no matter what is said or done, as parents they will still love them and not judge them. However, they also allowed for the fact that they know sometimes it might be hard for the kids to do that. They gave the kids permission to go either of the other two adults. The adults have permission to talk to the kids, help them make decisions, etc. and they not ever tell the parents the details of the situation.

Could you do that? First, could you give another adult (not the other parent) that kind of authority? Would you do so and truly expect the other adult NOT to tell you the details of any situation your child might bring to them?

I don’t have any kids but I’d like to think that I could do this. I do think that, any time I saw/heard my child talking to the “Go To parent”, I would wonder what situation they were discussing. I think that would be the hardest part – not saying that I wouldn’t trust the “Go To parent” to do the best thing for my child but just wondering to myself what they were talking about. Even knowing that the situation could be just their normal interaction, I think in the back of my mind I might still wonder.

I think I’m an unofficial “Go To Parent” for a few kids. The usual suspects include Princess So Fabulous, my nephew D, and FavCus#2 although I do find myself privy to the secrets, fears, dreams, hurts of a group of miscellaneous kids. I chalk it up to the fact that my family and friends operate under the concept of “It takes a Village” so we are each appointed unofficially to stand watch over those in our village. The Princess has shared some things with me that her parents haven’t been told. There haven’t been any “biggies” at this point. There have been a few things that I’ve encouraged her to talk to her parents about but I still didn’t mention it to them. My nephew? I’d like to think my nephew would come to me with things but, I’m not sure. I think he’d tell me AFTER.

FavCus#2. “Princess Bubbles”. Her? Awwww Lawd! Her mother has given her permission to talk to “us” – a select group of FavCus#1’s closest friends – about any and every thing. And I will tell you this: FAVCUS#2 DOES NOT HESITATE TO DO SO. There have been some VERY interesting conversations to say the very least (and that’s ALL I’m gonna say. You don’t need to know ‘bout the time she and I were riding along and she asked me a question that almost made me wreck the car. Nawww, ya’ll don’t need to know ‘bout that.) Now, has she shared with me anything she hasn’t shared with her mother? Nope although there have been things I was first to hear.

I think establishing a “Go To Parent” is a very loving thing to do. It says to your child that, as much as I love you and want you to come to me when you have a problem, I love you enough to simply provide you with another option, a safe option. From the standpoint of the “Go To Parent”, it says that the parent trusts you with their child’s life.

So….could you do that? Have you? Would you?

I’ve been giddy since news dropped that Jill Scott’s latest CD was dropping this month (this past Tuesday was THE day). Trust and believe, I was at Circuit City BRIGHT AND EARLY, waiting for them to open the doors. Shoot, I think I got there before the employees!

I love Jill’s music – her vocal range is amazing. And the content of her songs touches on everything from love, heartache, self-esteem, societal ills, family dynamics, neighborhood drug dealers, etc. There’s an earnest, heartfelt quality to her music…naked truth set free.

That voice, taking us from neo-soul richness to the gustiness of the Bottom Blues to operatic notes where you least expect them and back to the heart and soul of rhythm-and-blues. Yes, her voice pulls us in and before we know it, we are captivated by her the beauty of her spirit. Scott is a talented singer, actress, writer, poet (make no mistake – she will tell you herself “I was born as a poet, I will die a poet”.). She is a beautiful woman. But her spirit – that’s what radiates out to us - her spirit. Beyond the music, there just seems to be a sense of peace about her…joy.

Be warned: Jill’s new CD “The REAL Thing: Words & Sounds, Vol. 3” is strictly for grown-folk. She says unapologetically that this CD is passionate and that she’s painting “erotic and sexual energy imagery that’s very clear”. Gurrrrrrlllll, you ain’t NEVA lied. One listen to “Crown Royal” and you’ll be able to testify to the truth of her statement.

Whenever your favorite singer drops new music, you hope for more of their flavor but with some growth. In my opinion, Jill delivered in multiples. There’s definitely a different vibe to this CD. Beyond the sexual imagery, I sense a woman who’s settling deeper into who she is, becoming more at peace with her life (good, bad, rocky and smooth), a woman who’s stretching out in the fullness of her world. Courting joy. (Oooooo, I feel a poem coming on.). What’s not to love about THAT?

When I heard Jill was gracing the September cover of Essence magazine, I was close to stalking my mail person. The day the magazine was delivered, the sun shone brighter than normal. I opened the mailbox slowly; with white gloves on, gently pulled the magazine from the box leaving the rest of that crap in there. (It’s not like anybody sent me jellybeans.) I took the ceremonial walk back to my front door, majestic music playing in my wake. (Ok, Ok, it was playing in my head. Sheesh!) I got inside, lovingly placed the magazine on the coffee table (a table covered by an antique tablecloth for this very occasion). I poured myself a glass of libations in a brand new crystal champagne flute. Walking back to the living room, I paused long enough to cue the music, carefully light the white tapered candles in brass holders and lightly tap the chimes twice to clear the atmosphere of negative vibes. I prop myself up on a bed of fluffy, colorful pillows and slowly peel the magazine open to THE article. The sound of harps being strummed fill the air. And all was well. Beyond well. I sigh contentedly into the air and begin to read…..

Ssssssccccccrrrrrrreeeeeeccccchhhhh!

Uh, how did I miss the memo? Why ya’ll ain’t tell a sister that Ms. Te.rry. McMi.llian was conducting the interview?? Now, I find it interesting to see who Essence will pair up to do an interview but I have to tell you, finding Jill interviewed by Ms. M was…extra. Maybe it’s because in my head, while they’re both artists, their vibes are soooooo different. Perhaps that’s why they were paired. At any rate, I didn’t really enjoy the article. I’m not sure why. I think it was the insertion of “Terry-ness”. Don’t get me wrong – she’s a good writer but Terry’s one of those writers that I have to be in the “mood” for because her style is…erratic. It generally takes me a chapter or two to get into the rhythm of her writing, her flow, how she’s working. Once I get that down, I can roll with her. I wasn’t expecting that in this article. I just wanted to hear Jill tell her story, nudged gently across topics by whoever was interviewing her. Honestly ya’ll? I think I just had a Ter.ry.Mc.Mil.lan block. I’m going to revisit the article later and see. Truthfully, Jill spoke on everything I expected to hear and to the level I expected (not that I was key) so it wasn’t that I wanted to hear more details. I…well heck, here’s the link to the interview. You tell me. Maybe it IS just me. It’s gotta be that T.e.r.r.y. McM block of mine.

By contrast, I found my girl on the cover of “Upscale” Magazine too. And this article? I LOVED IT! Same subject but I felt the serenity, the sincerity, the joy in spite of what was going on. I felt her spirit. Uninterrupted.

I’m telling you - pick up this CD. You can’t go wrong.

ONE THING…
FEELING the FIRE….
FUELING the FIRE…

ONE THING….

This morning I woke up with ONE THING on my mind. Pull your wondering minds back to the moment people!

ONE THING.

I’ve been working to bring more order to my life – more simplicity, less “noise” in any format, more breathing room. Trying to tame the “To Do” lists, corral all the creative ideas flowing up and through my mental, physical and emotional space. It could be overwhelming. It “COULD” be. In a different time and space, it would have been. Yet, I’m at a place in life where I know this avalanche of ideas, deepening of connections with others, and new opportunities is simply confirmation that a tiny fear that I have is truly just that: a tiny fear.

So, I woke up this morning with ONE THING on my mind. ONE THING represents me challenging myself to do ONE THING – just ONE – that moves me closer to one goal I have for myself, that moves me one step closer to having ticked off an item on my multi-page “to-do” list.

That’s it. ONE THING.

ONE THING represents action. Action is the ONLY way to defeat procrastination. JUST DO IT. And when it looks tough, feels tough, JUST DO IT ANYWAY. I’m trying to move into a space where my words and actions are in alignment with the very things I want to usher into my life so that, once I’ve moved myself out of the way, there is space in my life for those things to grow, to flourish, to stay a while.

ONE THING represents commitment. Commitment happens daily. You choose an action, activity, relationship. You have to make the choice DAILY to renew that connection.

ONE THING represents faith. I’m doing this one thing, no matter how big or small knowing that in the end, my dream will become real.

ONE THING IS LOUDER THAN WORDS.

So, today I picked one thing. As soon as I post this, I’m going to complete *that* ONE THING. And then, being as bold as I wanna be, I’m going to pick another “ONE THING.

Some days, my ONE THING will be big – really, really big. Some days my ONE THING will be easy. No matter whether it’s big, small, hard, easy - it will ALWAYS be important. It will always be NECESSARY. It will always ADD VALUE. It will always be vital to the journey. There’s a bootleg NIKE commercial playing in my head with the “JUST DO IT” motto. My hope is that, at the end of the day, no matter how big, small, easy, difficult…my ONE THING will be done. I’m notorious for getting in my own way, for complicating simple situations so at the onset, I’ve told myself that in the event that my ONE THING doesn’t get done…I need to at least be ONE STEP closer to it. Bottom line? DO SOMETHING! TODAY!!

I think I just started my own personal revolution. LOL

Live DELICOUSLY!

** Oh, how’s this for synchronicity and confirmation? I received this little goody just as I was typing this post. It is a beautiful thing when you find yourself in a place and space where you’re truly open to what life is telling you. That’s a point for shouting. BUT…in respect for my neighbors this early in the day, I’m lighting up my candles instead. (Shout delayed until I see her pull out of the parking lot.) Enjoy the read!

THE CURE FOR PROCRASTINATION

The only cure for procrastination is action. Go beyond wishing, dreaming, considering, debating the options and get busy making it happen.

Yes, it’s going to be a little uncomfortable, it’s going to involve effort, it’s going to require commitment, and you’re going to run into difficult challenges. So ask yourself — do you intend to make it happen or would you rather put it off again and again so that it never gets done?

What gets done is what gets done now. In a little while, in a couple of weeks, in a few years, when you get around to it — these “somedays” never do come.

It’s helpful to substitute the word “never” for someday, for that will force you to confront the issue. Give yourself the choice between doing it now or doing it never, and you’ll be much more likely to do it now, if it’s truly important to you.

This moment right now is loaded with great value. You can choose to take action, and make that value your own, or you can choose to do nothing and forever leave this moment’s bountiful treasure behind.

Decide to accept the tremendous opportunity that is already available to you. Let go of the excuses, and make this the moment you jump into real, effective, purposeful action.

– Ralph Marston

JOY and peace are inseparable for me. If I have one, I have the other. Regardless of how life may swirl around me life Fall leaves. If I can hold on to my JOY/peace, I know it will be better than all right.

How do you know when you’ve gained inner peace in your life? Here are some ideas. I believe this is a list that was created by Author/Motivator Jewel Diamond Taylor. I like to think of it as a checklist of sorts. This week, along with pushing myself to FOCUS on getting things done, I’m going to look for ways to incorporate or increase the JOY in my day-to-day activities, starting with the little things. For me, that includes candles (of course), talking to my nieces/nephews, finding something to laugh about, good music (WHOO HOO! Jill Scott’s new CD drops tomorrow!! I bet I get to Circuit City BEFORE the employees).

Here’s Jewel’s list:

INNER PEACE

How do you know when you have gained inner peace in your life?

A. You begin to draw emotional boundaries which negative/toxic people cannot cross.

B. You stop giving your power, time, money, body and sanity away to people and conditions that can steal your joy and your purpose.

C. You begin to simplify your life.

D. You begin to value quiet time.

E. You don’t feel insecure if you are alone.

F. You begin to trust yourself more.

G. You begin to trust God more.

H. Your choices in food, fun, family and friends changes for the better.

I. You sleep better because you let go of worry.

J. You spend time with the people and activities that bring out your best.

K. You don’t spend a lot of energy trying to fix or rescue other people.

L. You change what you can and what cannot be changed, “it is what it is.”

M. You have gratitude for the things God has brought you through and not dwell on the things He didn’t do.

N. Life lessons learned help you to bounce back with more resiliency after setbacks, disappointments or loss.

O. You focus less on the mess and stress and have more gratitude for your blessings and success.

P. You are liberated from shame, anger, fear and guilt.

Anything you’d add to the list? I’m going to think about where some of my specific thoughts or rituals fit into this list - things like starting the day by creating my “To BE” statement for the day vs. jumping into the generation of my “To DO” list, slowing down my morning long enough to have a soothing cup of herbal tea before the day begins, organizing my day the night before (clothing choices made, lunch packed, etc.), getting out of the house on time so I’m not rushing, etc.

Have a better day than you planned!
Have a more JOY-FULL, Peace-FULL day than you imagined!

Live DELICIOUSLY!

Yesterday, I shared something with a friend of mine. Because it was pressing against my mind, my spirit. Because I needed to hear myself voice my concern out loud so that I do not fool myself into thinking it’s not a concern by masking it in silence. I prayed about it before I shared it. I had peace around it. Didn’t I? Maybe I shared it because I needed someone standing in agreement with me that all is well. I did pray about it before I shared it. Didn’t I? I thought I had peace about it. In my praying, did I calm myself long enough to listen for the answer? Not “my” answer…the one I *wanted* to hear but rather the answer He was bringing to me? Or did I use that phone call to my friend to hide from the voice of God in my fleshly fear that, maybe just maybe I don’t want to hear His answer?

My friend called me this morning, to pray with me about this situation. Apologizing for appearing, “at loose ends” yesterday, for answering my concern with worry. It’s all good. It was yesterday. It is today.

We all have rituals that we fall back on during certain times in our lives. When I’m stressing about something, worried, or trying to work things out in my mind, oddly enough I turn to housecleaning…literally. There is something about the act of wiping down the stove, cleaning counters, clearing out clutter that calms me, helps me focus, helps clear my head.

And so it was yesterday. I cleared off the coffee table, leaving lit candles in my wake. Sorted, trashed, stacked papers and magazines. Organized books. Wiped down kitchen counters, scrubbed floors, cleared off counter tops in the kitchen…again leaving lit candles. (My friend “The Voice” says I’m the only person he knows who CLEANS by candlelight. Hey, don’t knock it! Long as the cleaning gets done.)

As I cleared physical space, wiped up grease splatters, scrubbed floors, folded clothes, weeded through the “stuff” hidden in the hall closet, I felt my burdens lift. As if each stroke of the Swiffer was a silent prayer - each forward motion saying “All is well”, each backward motion a simple “thank you” uttered to the universe. Spray the counter top: “Thy will be done”. Wipe the counter: “Thank you Father”. And so it went until my counters, floors, and my mind were cleaned of clutter.

I’m not sure how cleaning came to be such a calming, prayerful experience for me (maybe all those years of my mom praying I’d clean my room. LOL). I’m not sure. But I am grateful for it.

So today MY soul sings. There is peace. Calm. JOY. My burdens have been lifted. Literally. Figuratively.

To you my friend, I say this: Thank you. It’s inadequate. As always. But it’s all I have. As always. When people ask about you, I always describe your presence. Yesterday is just one illustration of that presence.

For you, I leave these words…..know that I am well.

“99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. Take one down & pass it around. 98 bottles of beer on the wall.”

99 days left. Wow. I don’t know about you but there’ve been times when I felt like this year had really gotten away from me. Or RUN over me. It’s been eventful – not necessary the events I *wanted* but prayerfully, they were the events I *needed*.

Life does what it does, the days keep moving and if we are wise, we will fit the most delicious parts of our lives into all the nooks and crannies, filling them with beautiful memories.

Not long after college, a friend bought a motorcycle. For a while, I wouldn’t ride with him, no matter how much he asked. Finally, one Fall day I said okay. We zipped down some of the prettiest back-roads in the area with the trees dressed in their holiday colors – gold, orange, brown, red, with traces of yellow. For a while, I sat on the back of that motorcycle stiff as a board, scared…you would have thought I’d never hugged him before in my life. We stopped to get something to drink and that’s when my cycling lesson began. He told me that, if I wanted to stay on the back of the bike, I had to be flexible – hold on but not with a death grip. Told me I had lean when he did, when the road curved. I had to get down into the curve otherwise I might end up hurt…and so could he. That’s life. You have to learn to work the curves otherwise, you’ll get thrown for sure. (I know if he stumbles across this post, he is going to laugh so hard because Bayyyybeeeee, we had many *discussions* about that bike. Whew!)

Did you come into 2007 with goals that you wanted to achieve? I did. So, how are YOU doing? I’ll admit – I got sidetracked. And I misread the “detour sign” – for a long time, I treated it like a “stop sign”. Life hit a curve followed by a major pothole and I didn’t lean into it. I got thrown. I took time to lick my wounds. Found myself hesitant to get back on that “bike”. But, sometimes you don’t have the luxury of getting there in a different way. So you have to grab your courage, toss it over your shoulder and dig in.

Seasons change. Here we are, on the edge of Fall. Actually, today is the first day of Fall and I’ve decided to simply dig in, to till the soil of my life, plant what works for this season, harvest what’s ripe, and plan for next year’s harvest. Today is about recommitting to life – falling madly, truly, deeply in love with the life I’m living. Committing to it daily. Curves and all.

Seasons change. In the process, there’s shedding, pruning, planting, growth, harvest. A chance to reconnect with the dreams I thought were dormant. Perhaps what was dormant is ‘me. *sigh*

FALL is the perfect time to fall in love with life again. To survey the landscape of my life, see what yielded the best results, where I need to adjust my efforts.

Seasons change. Not every season yields a harvest. Sometimes it’s about tilling the soil, preparing it. Sometimes it’s planting season. Sometimes it’s harvest time. And no matter how much I might want it to, the seasons will not be rushed. I’m learning to enjoy those moments, to make the most of each one.

Yes, seasons change. It makes no sense to struggle against them.

Seasons change.

I can’t let that throw me. It’s life. Just as my friend told me that Fall day years ago, I tell myself now: go with it; stop fighting against the curves. Lean into them. Ride it out.

What are you willing to FALL into?

Live DELICIOUSLY!

I was sitting home yesterday, nursing my cold. Phone rings. It’s my mom, telling me that D’s teacher has called, saying my nephew has been getting his “Dave Chappelle” on in class. Again. Can I tell ya’ll how irritated I am with this kid? How disappointed I am in his behavior lately? I’m scrambling trying to get him from behind the 8-ball of SAT/ACT, college choices, admissions, NCAA regs, etc. And dude is up in class acking (yeah – ACKING) a fool? I mean “all the way live”. Oh but no. He has clearly fallen and bumped his head.

Mind you, this same teacher alluded to his antics last week when my mom and I attended convocation for the senior class. She was telling us how well he does in terms of understanding the material, acing the tests, etc. You know how folks have a “BUT” in their voice? I heard it. A big one. So I asked what it was she was trying NOT to say. Mrs. Teacher-lady smirks at me and says that convocation isn’t the time/place for that discussion. I smirk back, drop two sugars in my voice and assure her that NOW is exactly the time/place because

(1) were it not, her approach to the conversation should have been different

(2) while I appreciate the pageantry of the day, it would serve no purpose if D wasn’t standing in line for graduation come June,

(3) it’s September; May is not waiting for any of us and

(4) if corrective action is needed, it would do none of us any good to wait any longer to roll up our collective sleeves and get the work done. (Yeah, I’d be hell on a school board or PTA, wouldn’t I? Ha! But I make one heck of an advocate for kids/education, don’t I?)

Now this conversation took place right after my nephew foolishly let me find in a crowded cafeteria that he’d been benched the week before. Huh? Benched? The co-captain of the football team? Did what? And not one word of this did my mother breathe to me at any point prior to D’s best friend’s mom letting it slip. (Yeah, my mom’s got a “ding” that day too.) If you think I waited until later to talk to him, you’re probably new to the blog. Otherwise, you know he got the ‘nice-sty’ dress-down with usage of his FULL birth name right on the spot. Yeah, I’m from the school of “Where-you-act-up-is-where-you-get-straightened-up”.

Yesterday? I was so through I couldn’t even talk. I’m sure my mom was expecting me to call D when he got home. Can’t talk to him at the moment. I don’t know how else to tell him that he’s making himself throwaway, disposable and I refuse to watch, participate, or jump into to rescue him.

I’ve reminded this kid on the regular that people do what they do for him because they love him, they know what he’s capable of, they have high hopes for him, and they refuse to let him become a statistic. I remind him that there are some for whom he is invisible unless he’s wearing that jersey. I remind him that there are some who could care less unless he’s plowing his way up the field with the pigskin under his arm. I remind him that some only see him capable of carrying that football while others see him with that degree in hand. I remind him of the danger of playing into stereotypes for ANYBODY, including his “friends”. I remind him that he is neither confined nor defined by his circumstances and that no matter how bad things seem for him in any given moment, if he can look up, he can get up.

My mother is relaying the recent episode of his pitiful comedy act to me. I can’t stir up any great emotion. See, my nephew and I talk ALL the time about “athletes gone wild”. We talk about the importance of education. (Years ago, his focus was on playing college football and hopefully landing in the NFL. As it was his dream, I told him I’d support him in that; however, MY main focus was on him earning his degree. He said, “Yeah so I can have something to fall back on” and I quickly assured him that a degree is never a “fall-back position” – it’s your FOUNDATION.) We talk about how people will show up to help him when he shows himself worthy and appreciative of that help. We talk about the people he will meet that will have the “I-got-mine-you-get-yours” attitude. We talk about how people help him not because they’re obligated but because they love him, they want the best for him.

Now, I’m chunking out money for SAT/ACT. Funding college road trips. Calculating costs for college applications, etc. Did I tell ya’ll I wasn’t working? Uh huh. But I do these things because…it’s what I do. I’ve even offered to pay for SAT/ACT for some other kids. Cause it matters to me. It also matters to me that you respect MY efforts and my funds.

But right now? I can’t talk to this kid. I really don’t know what to say to him. I don’t know what’s going on in his head. I can’t lie. I’m irritated. I’m scrambling, dealing with situations of my own, trying to figure out where my ends are much less how to make them meet, trying to put feet under my own dream. I don’t have the energy or coordination…or the inclination at this point…to juggle my dream and someone else’s.

I know my mother is expecting me to say I’ll come home to talk to him or I’ll call him later.

I don’t.

I won’t.

I recall all the times I’ve reminded this kid of who he is, what he’s worth. This time? I remind myself that I can’t save him or anyone else.

I tell my mother this, “Let him fall.”

Maybe that’s what he needs.

Maybe that’s where HIS faith will kick in.

Maybe that’s where HIS wings will be built on the way down from that fall.

That’s my prayer….

“Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it.” ~ Not Your Average Dictionary ~

Did you remember? To wear black today? In support of the Jena 6? I’d link to it but I’m on the verge of crawling back into bed. (This cold thing ain’t playing with me so, I’m not gonna play with it either. I can’t wait to be on the other side of this thing…my cold…and Jena 6.)

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve stumbled upon some very interesting conversations. I know that it was by design but still…

One such conversation started out about Jena 6 then morphed into a discussion of a “colorless society”. One person said it would never happen because Black people had too much “invested” in being “black”. Um…er….rum….what? Now, HE meant in terms of affirmative action and whatever else “some” people see as white America having “bent over backwards time and time again” (his words - not mine).

*Sigh* Wanna know what I believe? I believe that it is possible for me to acknowledge, celebrate, embrace, and honor the truth of who I am - an African-American woman - that leaves more than enough room for other people to do the same.

I believe that it is unnecessary and highly unlikely that I will ever apologize or feel bad about the color of the skin I’m in. Check the tag: designer’s finest Baby - made by G.O.D. Stitched to perfection.

I believe that a “colorless society” asks people to ignore a major component of who we are as individuals - it asks us to not see the customs, the history, the intricacies that help make others who they are. How are you going to befriend someone if you’re only looking at half of that person? Personally, I love learning about different cultures, different religions, etc.

I believe that even when I don’t “flaunt” my blackness, there are people who will make it an issue, subtly or otherwise. From the way I wear my hair to the way I speak (cause I don’t “sound black”…whatever that means). The majority of us live above all that noise and nonsense but I gotta tell you….every once in a while, it gets to be a bit much.

I believe that, as “far” as we may have come….we still have miles to go before we sleep. Jena 6 is evidence of that.

I believe that, NO MATTER HOW MANY “TREES” YOU CUT DOWN, IF YOU DON’T PULL UP THE ROOT….YOU HAVEN’T DONE NOTHING.

Peace. Be well.

Marinate on these quotes:

“Strange is our situation here on earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of humanity . . . For the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day I realize how my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow human beings, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received and am still receiving.” ~ Albert Einstein ~

“I don’t have a minute to hate. I will pursue justice for the rest of my life.” ~ Mamie Till Mobley ~

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Justice is what LOVE looks like in public.” ~ Tavis Smiley

Harmony

Harmony does not mean that everyone is in agreement. It means that no one is attempting to force his or her opinions on others.

Harmony does not mean that everyone is the same. It means that everyone respects and tolerates and even celebrates the differences that give so much richness to life.

Harmony is not ever achieved by brute force. Harmony is reached when every individual understands, on his or her own terms, that it is by far the most effective way to live.

Harmony does not come about through intimidation or scolding or threats of punishment. Harmony is reached through understanding.

Harmony cannot exist where people are interested only in what they can take. Harmony is built through giving.

Harmony comes not by giving in or by being weak or by surrendering one’s most treasured principles, or by the cowardly attempt to control others. Harmony is the domain of those who are confident enough in their own lives to allow others to peacefully flourish.

– Ralph Marston

“Love’s in need…of love today….” ~ Stevie Wonder ~ (Sang it Stevie, Sang it!

As always….Live DELICIOUSLY!