FAITH….

Someone once told me that “faith isn’t really faith until it’s been tested” or something to that affect. I remember once thinking quite smugly that I was making moves, that my life was progressing so smoothly and that I wasn’t afraid of the devil. What I came to learn shortly after I had that misguided thought is, at that point in my life, the devil wasn’t stettin’ ’bout me. I wasn’t a threat to him in any way, shape, form or fashion. Why? Because I was simply moving around the edges of my life, peeping over the sides every once in a while, seeing the beauty that lived there and telling myself that either I wasn’t ready or I wasn’t worthy. Shoot, at that point in time, the devil didn’t even have to get out of bed to deal with me: I was defeating myself.

That’s another reason I tell people not to sweat “Haters” - everyone has a role to play and if nothing or noone’s coming against you, you really need to check yourself. I wasn’t at a place where I was truly ready to do battle with the devil. God knew that even if I didn’t. I laugh now because I see myself like that little kid on the playground who has the bully scared and is so full of “look what I did!” bravada, he/she doesn’t realize that the bully sees an even bigger kid behind me. I was still way, way under God’s wing and so what the devil was seeing was God’s shadow protecting me. Oh but once God said “It’s time to venture out”, I caught it. Sometimes I folded easily, crying out at the smallest tap from the devil. Sometimes I beat the devil to the bunch and hurt myself…Self Inflected Nonsense.

Last week, I decided that I would just truly, fully, completely immerse myself in all the JOY that my life held. I would give myself over to it, enjoy it, love it, share it, create it - the whole nine. That was (and remains) my honest intention for living my life out loud on purpose. And you know what happened next, right? Here come the devil to test my EBS - Everything you Believe System. Newly repaired A/C stops working. I discover the A/C folks have burned a small hole in my carpet and covered it up (in addition to the holes they left in one wall and the scratch on another). The car won’t start. Plumbing in the upstairs bathroom goes on the fritz. Range hood reminds me that it HAS to be replaced. Physical headaches come back. It just keeps coming.

I was ALMOST ready to just give up and give in. The proverbial straw that “almost” broke the camel’s back? Something so silly but in the moment, with all those other stuff piling up, it almost had me dissolving into tears. Instead of letting the tears (and the fears) take over, I got still. Although I wasn’t really watching it, the TV was on. A storm was approaching my little corner of the world here in VA. The message from the Emergency Broadcast System scrolled across the screen and just like that *snap* I remembered who I was, what I was purposed to do, and more importantly I remembered WHOSE I was and who was standing behind me.

“This is a test. God is conducting a test of the Everything you Believe System. This is only a test.”

“This is a test of the Everything you Believe System. God developed this system to keep you focused on faith, your thoughts, and purpose. If this had been an actual emergency, the Attention Signal you just received would have been followed by official information, news, or instructions such as pray, be still, move. This concludes this test of the Everything you Believe System.”