When I was younger, the little snotty-nosed kid across the street used the sleep walk. His family had a “cozy” little house so his nightime roaming was rather short in term of distance. It was creepy as hell cause dude already had a habit of sleeping with his eyes open. Ugh!

I was thinking about sleepwalking earlier today. In light of all this newfound energy, clarity and movement, I realize that for far too long, I actually HAVE been sleepwalking through my life. Seriously. On automatic pilot. Doing just enough to say I participated but not really rolling up my sleeves and getting my hands dirty. Just letting things happen. And sometimes having to scramble to straighten out a mess I let happen while I was living unconsciously.

They say sleepwalking is usually a sign of lack of sleep, intense emotional problems, stress or fever. Yep. That’ll do it for sure. The variation that I’m speaking of can be brought on by the same things although generally, there’s also a desire to avoid something, to not have to make a choice, a reaction to pain. And for some, a sense of hopelessness.

I tend to suffer from what’s called “fibrofog” which means my concentration may be off if I’m having one of those ‘fibro’ days. Add to that my penchant for “sleepwalking” through my life and my dilemma is doubled.

Sometimes sleepwalkers wake up and don’t remember anything that happened or understand how they got wherever it is they ended up. Been there. Done that. In my relationships. Career. Personal. Definitely in my personal relationships. Ended up somewhere I hadn’t intended to be, someplace I didn’t recognize and couldn’t figure out for the life of me “how” I got there. Ended up somewhere uncomfortable, painful, hurtful with my head in my hands, my heart shattered and laying around my feet as I cried wondering just how the heck I got to *this* place.

In those moments when I was sleepwalking through my life, I know God sent me many wake-up calls in the form of other people, situations, and a bunch of events. Sometimes I saw them. Sometimes I ignored them. Sometimes I prayed to “sleepwalk” through them. I did - ain’t no sense in me trying to make it out to be anything other than what it is. “Tell the truth, shame the devil”.

I don’t want to deal with that anymore. “Sleepwalking” through my life. Living unconsciously. Just letting life happen to me.

Naw - I’m about CONSCIOUS LIVING. Being present for each and every moment. Wrapping it in as much rich goodness as I can. As much joy as I can stand.

Yep, I’m awake now. WIDE AWAKE.

BOUND AND DETERMINED TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE IT’S GOLDEN.

Shoot, Dorothy ain’t the only one trying to ease on down the road.

Besides, I have the perfect pair of ruby red sandals that will put just the right amount of stank in my strut to let the world know that what I’m traveling on ain’t no ordinary yellow brick road but a golden highway leading to something beautiful.