I’m sure that I am driving my blog notification systems crazy. Yes, I did have another post up earlier this morning. Yes I did take it down. I’ve done that a few times over the last month or so. Something about the post just wasn’t giving me peace so, I pulled them down. Maybe it was too…open, too raw, too honest…too much of me out there for public display. Whatever the reason, my soul is at peace. And that’s what matters most to me. Maybe I need to rethink my approach to blogging. I’m hoping this is all that it is. There’s a flog over my head at the moment. It has me blocked to a degree where my next writing project is concerned. Maybe it’s infecting my blogging too. I’m gonna let it ride for the moment but we’re gonna wrestle it down until I understand it. That’s my plan. Right now. Things change. Anywho…what to talk about now in lieu of my previous post? Ahhhhh….how about “Haters”.

You know, we all have a role to play in life. Often times, many roles. Sometimes those roles morph over time, sometimes we play multiple roles simultaneously. That applies even to the dreaded HATERS.

First, be clear that just because YOU think someone is hating on you doesn’t mean they are. Sometimes we confuse the situation. It happens. Especially if you *KNOW* that you’re right about whatever the situation is. Just admit that sometimes, you can be too close to the situation to be objective about the feedback that you might get. It’s just a thought. I might just be me. *shrug*

Now, for cases of true “Hate”. Don’t internalize that mess. Recognize that the “HATER” is just playing their role. Your reaction to them & their antics could mean the difference between them getting an academy award for their bullshyt or you not even noticing they were part of the mix. Feel me? Take it in stride.

You know, HATERS can serve a purpose - a positive one. They let you know that you’re about to get your shine on. Generally, they’re the first people to notice that you’re about to be on and they ring the alarm. They don’t realize it but they can be a great PR tool. I mean really, depending on what it is you’re doing, they could stir up interest in places that you hadn’t even thought about. They call attention to you which is the opposite of what they were hoping for because grown folks who make up their own minds will check you out and decide for themselves. So let the haters spin. Next time one of them comes to you with that noise, sit back cause you’re about to be on. “I’m on…wipe me down!”. (Um, I hate that song but found it too tempting not to use. Can you just see that Hater being the one to “wipe me down”? Hysterical!)

And they serve a larger purpose - they can be the edge against which you sharpen your dreams. I don’t mean to sharpen your dream in an “I’ll show you” kind of way but it can work to a degree (as long as you don’t let that be your sole motivation). If somebody’s coming against you to that degree, you have to know you’re on to something. If everybody agrees with you and is for you, you need to adjust yourself or your dream. “Kites fly highest against the wind, not with it.” - Winston Churchill We all need a little resistance to reach whatever height is meant for us. Next time a hater starts up, just smile and say, “blow me.” (Sorry, couldn’t resist. LOL)

The bottom line is this, I don’t think any of us is foolish enough to be believe that everyone is going to love us and support each and every little thing we do. Not gonna happen. If you were somehow holding onto that little fairy tale, tell it to the Easter Bunny Baby. Know who you are. Know what you want. Know what your purpose is. Know how you’re going to get there. Know that you can. Know that you will. Know who’s for you.

Know who you can share your dreams with. Look, people who aren’t strong enough or brave enough to dream their own dreams certainly aren’t going to be strong enough or brave enough to support yours. Stop expecting them to. Some people don’t need to know what you’re doing until it’s done. Recognize that. Stop seeking validation from folks who don’t even approve of themselves. (Don’t even trip - sometimes that’s what it’s really about. Admit it. Then change it.)

Set yourself up with a “board of directors”. Sometimes that’s you, your spouse/significant other, your best friends. Sometimes Baby it’s just you and God. And if you’re prone to getting in your own way, then it’s just God. Ask me how I know. Ha!

Do I have a “board of directors”? You best believe it. And I know that these people have my best interests at heart. They are not about saying “yes” because they think it’s what I want to hear. They are my kind of honest so you KNOW what that means. THAT’S what you need. People who will tell the truth about you…to you. It’s not about them saving face or them being not wanting to be embarrassed by me. It’s about them wanting me to be my best, to reach the pinnacle. Lawd, I do loves dem peoples. And you know who you is.

So, while I don’t advocate that you let the Haters cop a squat & get comfortable, be real about why you’re shaking them off. And then sang yo’ version of Jill Scott’s hit. I.LOVE.DAT.SONG.