You’re so on point - you recognize that it’s trying to come up & you decide not to give in to it. That’s exactly it.

Remember my post re: “Beautiful Epiphany”? When that “relationship” *ended*, I felt that whole script of “ok, here’s somebody else that didn’t choose me” come up - that whole, “prove me wrong” tape started to play. I didn’t run from it - I looked at it & realized that I wasn’t suppose to BE his choice. He was simply there to move me to a higher level of understanding, to ready me for an even deeper experience. I’ll be bold enough to say that I did the same for him. (Would he admit to that? The world may never know. LOL)

Sometimes I think we expend too much time trying to make THIS one THE one instead of just enjoying the moments as they unfold. But that is another script in and of itself.

I’ve been dating someone recently and fear has TRIED to jump into my mind but I REFUSE to let it sprout roots and plant itself into THIS situation or any others that may come after this. I’m going to stay in the PRESENT as much as possible because FEAR is what screwed me up in the past.

I’ve been through so much that I feel secure enough at this point where I trust in HIM (meaning HIM…. not him) enough to know that HE’s not going to take me where I don’t need to be.

Some people are here for a reason, a season or for an entire lifetime. Hopefully staying in the present will help me to allow it to be whatever it’s going to be, ya know???

EXCELLENT EXCELLENT POST….definitely got me thinking about some things.

OK…I’m working on 30 mins of sleep so I’m a little slower than normal. Not sure what you mean by “personal project” unless you tie it to my comment about wanting to be proven wrong.

Let’s be clear - other than myself, I’m not saying ANYONE suffers from this script. I’m saying it does exist, here’s some reasons it exists, some ways itself out.

From my POV, it isn’t about “men who know themselves well”. It’s about the fact that the person who has “don’t-expect-them-to-stay-itis” doesn’t know THEMSELVES, they may not recognize their own relationship patterns.

I’ve seen the whole “make their wills part of my natural blueprint” (from both sides) - that’s a whole ‘nother script. People who don’t believe the object of their affection will stay don’t try to impose their will on the other person because they don’t see it turning out any other way than with the person leaving. Even if the relationship lasts for any amount of time, they’re still waiting for the other shoe to fall.

Just my thoughts…I could be waaaay off base. LOL It’s happened before. :O)

Yes - I do see it as an issue for a guy. For example, there are lots of men whose mother walked away from them, left them with relatives (not necessariloy their father). Or who left them with their father and so it was their mother leaving that haunts them.

If it was indeed the father who left (or was never really present), this concept could play out different in terms of being the reason that the guy doesn’t stay when he’s in a relationship. It was the pattern that he saw, the one he now imitates.

Keep in mind also that “abandonment” takes forms other than just physical. You can be physically present but emotionally absent.

Deep enough for ya?

Don’t be skurred. I don’t bite. Well…as far as you need to know I don’t.