My plate is f-u-l-l. More like my “platters” are full. Not overwhelmingly so. I’m taking it one item at a time. Working steadily. Getting it done. It’s what I do – generally. Reminding myself that everything on my list needs to be done, just not today. It’s not an excuse for me to procrastinate but to be mindful of what I take on, its importance & priority, getting it done well, and planning for what comes next.

I think of the stuff I need to tackle, much of which I’ve let slide repeatedly. This quote floats across my consciousness: “What you resist, persists.” What am I resisting…and why?

There are two interactions that aren’t supporting my highest good right now. I weed through my relationship regularly – keep (nurture), revive (reinvest time/effort), toss (“be blessed but be gone”). One interaction I need to relinquish, I cling to fearing it won’t happen again. My spirit whispers to me that (1) love and fear can’t occupy the same space and (2) it will happen again…only better. And it won’t be “imaginary”. And so, I pray for strength to truly let go. Even if it doesn’t seem to want to let go of me. I work to make room for the good stuff, the REAL stuff. I get thrown occasionally – thinking I’ve let go and along comes another test. It means there’s more to learn from that interaction – but I don’t have to immerse myself in the it to learn it. It can be my personal “history lesson” – studying the past so I don’t repeat it in the future.

The second situation has potential for everyone involved to win. To be better, stronger, more productive, wiser both individually and as a group. Yet most people aren’t stepping up in any way, big or small. It’s frustrating. I’m giving by nature. I support people beyond empty words. But even a cook likes someone else to stir the pot from time to time. My spirit says it does no good if I’m the only one who sees the potential or the only one willing to mine it. So…I’m weaning myself off of this interaction. Who knows? Both of these cases may very well be “over and done with” or “not right now, give it time.” But in the moment? They simply keep me stuck. And that ain’t a good look.

I think I resisted when it came to my role in what transpired thus far in my career, even in terms of my layoff. For a while, I lost sight of the fact that, ultimately, I’m responsible for my own career growth. I was truly burned out. Instead of stepping back and really reassessing, I fell for the Okey-doke and let myself grab that worn, torn fake Superhero cape and try to ride to the rescue. Tilting at windmills. Since I was in survival mode, many of the things I coached others to do regularly where the first things I slacked off on myself. None would have changed the outcome but I would’ve been more focused. For a long time, I resisted the call of my spirit to move on, to find work that while challenging me, also left me energized. I dragged my feet and so, God shifted the ground beneath me. And honestly, I resisted the fact that this transition in my life, although in my best interest, hit me harder than I thought.

I started thinking about the little things in my life that I’m simply tolerating and how they can wear you down, keep you stuck, zap your energy.

Little things like minor household repairs, that stack of mail on the table, all the ‘stuff’ that’s piled up on your dining room table, the snide comment that someone ALWAYS makes about your hair/clothes/etc. that you “let slide”, late payments because you don’t know what you did with the bill, leaky faucets, needing an oil change, paying fees for a service or membership you don’t use (and haven’t used since Nixon was in office!), late fees because you haven’t automated regular monthly payments, spending money eat when there’s food in the house. Running out of things or buying things you already have because you’re not organized, not paying attention. Rushing to appointments, clutter in your life – physical, mental, emotional. Letting the needs of your family/friends/career come before you taking care of yourself. Letting go of those things that help bring you peace, that help keep you centered and sane.

Tolerations add up and that kind of addition will wear you down. About two years ago, I did an exercise where I created a list of my “tolerations”, prioritized them (controllable vs. uncontrollable – by you). If it was uncontrollable, you transfer ownership to the ”rightful owner” or simply learn to make peace with it. If it’s controllable, you need to get it done and move on. You’ll definitely breathe easier.

As I was working through my list, I really had to ask myself what these tolerations where buying me. What was the payoff for me? Like a lot of other people, I operated with a distorted view of the length and importance of a to-do list. For us, it was a twisted form of validation – a way to say somebody needed me. Concrete evidence in form of a backlog of emails, unreturned messages, etc. We could point to the “evidence” and say,
“See? They need me.” While that might be true, if that item is still sitting on your list a week, two weeks, three weeks later, it doesn’t matter if they “need” you – you aren’t delivering.

At the end of the day, you can either TALK about it or BE about it. Tolerate it or erase it. If it keeps showing up on your to-do list, either get it done or give it up.

Live DELICIOUSLY!