**LRIA = Love’s Reparations in Action. **
Why? Because for me, “Love’s Reparations” is bigger than poetry - it’s a movement.

Somebody cue Fabulous & NeYo “I’m a movement by myself…but I’m a force when we’re together. I’m good all by myself but you, you make me better.”

Yes, I did take down the original post for today. Why? Because. Today? It’s hard. To be in THAT place. To be reminded that while you ARE in THAT place, you are there ALONE. A few days ago, I mentioned that there were some things that I wasn’t going to talk about any more. Not that I don’t think my voice is valid, not that I don’t think I’m being heard or helpful but…sometimes, the world needs to just HEAR your silence, to just sit with it so they realize not only the validity of your words/views but of your feelings. And sometimes, silence speaks the loudest.

This morning, I made the mistake of letting myself go somewhere “mentally” that in it’s current state is not good for me emotionally or any other way. I’m irritated with myself right now because I keep turning that stuff over trying to find myself there. It shouldn’t be that hard. It just shouldn’t. So now, I’m nursing that old wound, the one I thought had scabbed over. It’s all good though. Or at least it will be.

Anyway, in lieu of what was originally posted, I’m doing a repost. Enjoy!

STRONG ENOUGH FOR A WOMAN - AS A WOMAN…BUT MADE FOR A MAN

Not feeling overly bloggish these days but…I need to rescue my blog from blog obscurity AND I told one of my girlfriends that I was going to finish at least one post that I’d started over the last couple of weeks & get it out there. Um…ok, so I’m going to do just that but just so you know, this ISN’T the entry I had intended to use. It is however, the one I NEED.

“Strong Enough for a woman, made for a man.” You remember that slogan, right? Secret deodorant?

I’ve been told that I’m a strong woman, a strong person. I don’t disagree with that assessment. Nor do I apologize for the strength. BUT…I’m also a woman who KNOWS she’s a woman, who likes her softer side, who knows when to let herself be vulnerable, when to call her strength into action. Who knows that it isn’t about being right – it’s about being appreciated, needed, respected, wanted…loved. Who knows that she doesn’t have to use her strength as a weapon AND right about now…I’d give anything to not have to be that strong woman – just for a little while.

To have someone hold my hand, tell me to “Shhhh….be still….rest yourself…”

To pick up the phone, hear you say a simple hello as I dissolve into tears while you say, “I’m on my way”.

To be able to just curl up on the sofa in a hug – warm, deep, inviting – a hug that says “You’re safe. I got you.”

To hear someone say, “You can let your guard down. I’ll keep the world at bay.”

To just BE in that space with someone who gets me – really gets me – both in terms of my words…and my silence. To just BE in that space with them. Letting the silence speak to us, for us, through us. Just being comfortable.

To have that one place where no masks are needed, walls are not allowed, fears are faced head on, judgment is tossed out the window, truth flows freely like oxygen, words mean what we say they mean. That place where you know – beyond a shadow of a doubt – that your safety (emotional, physical & otherwise) is first and foremost in that person’s mind. That giving you back your smile is all they want to do in that moment.

Maybe that’s really what I want. Not to forfeit, give up, or trade my strength. But to have a SAFE HAVEN. A place to go to rejuvenate. Rest. Replenish my spirit. Refresh my mind. A place where I can be vulnerable…and still be safe. A place where my worth is recognized – regardless of what I do…or don’t do. A place where I can simply be me – as silly as I want to be, as complicated as I am, kind, funny, tired…whatever combination of me exists at that moment…and it will be all good.

I’m blessed enough to have a few strong ports in the storm. (Pausing to say “Thank You” – you know who you are – it’s all love.) But I’m holding out for that one magical, mystical “Wal-Mart” of safe havens…where I can get everything I need, whenever I need it…24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The cost? The recognition that it’s okay to give into my weakness, my vulnerability some times. That it’s okay to let my guard down. That it’s okay to want or need someone…their strength, their energy, their honesty, their quiet spirit, their laughter, their warmth. To know not only that I want it, that I need it, but also that I truly deserve it, that it’s AUTHENTIC…and freely given.

Knowing that…admitting it…reflects a lot of growth. And it takes a lot of strength….courage…and wisdom. Right now, in THIS moment, I need you. I’m strong enough to admit that….are you strong enough to BE that? Cause right here, right now, in this moment, in this space - I can & do tell you this: I AM strong enough for a woman, strong enough AS a woman…but I’m MADE for a man.

ADDENDUM TO ORIGINAL POST: I don’t want to hear anybody’s statistics. Truth be told, statistics was never my thing…on any level. But what I can tell you & WILL tell you about me and statistics is this:

DEAR “ADAM”,
I AM READY TO HEAR THE RHETORIC & THE STATISTICS & LOVE YOU SO DEEPLY THAT THEY CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE HOW TO MEASURE IT.

LOVE ALWAYS,
“EVE”

That my lovelies? REAL TALK. Spoken with love, in love, for the sake of love. Always Love. ALWAYS.

Live DELICIOUSLY!
Love DEEPLY!
~ J~