Comments on: Shift Happens: Embracing “NO” - Part I http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/ SOULFULL SOLILOQUIES...SOUL DEEP, SPIRIT WIDE Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:21:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: admin http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-177 admin Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:20:29 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-177 Hey Princess! You didn't "miss" it. I'm still tightening up that post so it should be here soon. Just so much to say, to discuss and you know I'm 'wordy by nature'. LOL Hang on...it's coming! Hey Princess! You didn’t “miss” it. I’m still tightening up that post so it should be here soon. Just so much to say, to discuss and you know I’m ‘wordy by nature’. LOL Hang on…it’s coming!

]]> By: Linda Dominique Grosvenor http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-176 Linda Dominique Grosvenor Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:11:26 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-176 I think I missed the update part, but you know, I'm definitely an advocate of talking "to" each other. I've always been that way because I don't want to misunderstand what's being conveyed. Because people don't want to hurt each others feelings they water down the truth and hold back crucial points, but to me it makes no sense to be "in" a relationship if you're not going to let it be an honest one. Being honest is the best gift that you can give yourself AND the other person. I think I missed the update part, but you know, I’m definitely an advocate of talking “to” each other. I’ve always been that way because I don’t want to misunderstand what’s being conveyed. Because people don’t want to hurt each others feelings they water down the truth and hold back crucial points, but to me it makes no sense to be “in” a relationship if you’re not going to let it be an honest one. Being honest is the best gift that you can give yourself AND the other person.

]]> By: admin http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-174 admin Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:11:41 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-174 Calvin - good question. (Let's pretend for a moment that yours truly has not lived that very scenario LOL). I don't think you can lose what's meant for you - you can push it away, you can try to deny it, you can run from it, you can hurt it but it still exists. Question is, after all that mangling related to THAT "NO", is it salvagable? I think in your case some questioning might be in order in terms of the context of the "NO" or how it was delivered. "NO" can mean "not right now", "I'm not ready", "I'm scared" but generally speaking when we hear it we automatically jump to believing it to be final. Not an easy place or perspective to get to when you're hurting. So I've been told. *wink* Thanks for sharing your thoughts, asking questions. I love questions - I think in lots of cases they're more important than the actual answer. But then again, maybe that' sjust me. Calvin - good question. (Let’s pretend for a moment that yours truly has not lived that very scenario LOL). I don’t think you can lose what’s meant for you - you can push it away, you can try to deny it, you can run from it, you can hurt it but it still exists. Question is, after all that mangling related to THAT “NO”, is it salvagable?

I think in your case some questioning might be in order in terms of the context of the “NO” or how it was delivered. “NO” can mean “not right now”, “I’m not ready”, “I’m scared” but generally speaking when we hear it we automatically jump to believing it to be final. Not an easy place or perspective to get to when you’re hurting. So I’ve been told. *wink*

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, asking questions. I love questions - I think in lots of cases they’re more important than the actual answer. But then again, maybe that’ sjust me.

]]> By: admin http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-173 admin Wed, 13 Jun 2007 03:04:25 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-173 Thank you Ms. Creole. It works. Fo' real! Thank you Ms. Creole. It works. Fo’ real!

]]> By: CreoleInDC http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-172 CreoleInDC Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:45:21 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-172 That made perfect sense. Imma try and use it. That made perfect sense. Imma try and use it.

]]> By: calvin holland http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-171 calvin holland Wed, 13 Jun 2007 01:37:50 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-171 interesting perspective on the word "NO", but what happens when one of the "NO"s you are commenting on involves a relationship that you are really interested in and you say "NO" in the beginning and that "NO" is taking as absolute and you wind up losing someone who may potentially have been your spiritual soulmate? P.S. keeping on doing what you do! interesting perspective on the word “NO”, but what happens when one of the “NO”s you are commenting on involves a relationship that you are really interested in and you say “NO” in the beginning and that “NO” is taking as absolute and you wind up losing someone who may potentially have been your spiritual soulmate?

P.S. keeping on doing what you do!

]]> By: admin http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-170 admin Tue, 12 Jun 2007 19:51:48 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-170 Shai - they say when you can find the gift in the pain, you're free. I've cried more tears over poems in that collection (not Dear Adam). But um, I'm having a little bit of a time getting Dear Adam back in focus. Gotta shake some things off this week and grind it out. I get confirmation every day that it's time. Time for THAT book to born. We'll see. Shai - they say when you can find the gift in the pain, you’re free. I’ve cried more tears over poems in that collection (not Dear Adam). But um, I’m having a little bit of a time getting Dear Adam back in focus. Gotta shake some things off this week and grind it out. I get confirmation every day that it’s time. Time for THAT book to born. We’ll see.

]]> By: admin http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-169 admin Tue, 12 Jun 2007 19:48:44 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-169 See? BabySis why you gotta come up in hurrh acting out? Sparking off stuff. I've never been inclined to do the "baby baby please don't go" (whole nother post) but I was some kinda h-u-r-t. How 'bout "the man formerly known as my boyfriend" walked away from our relationship to be with a crackhead. If God didn't put some mighty cold reality in my face that day, I don't know what did. He choose a crackhead because that's all HE thought HE deserved. Had a child with her (again, WHOLE NOTHER POST!!) then tried the "I was wrong, I love you, I need you, it was always you." My response? - You're 'wrong' alot! - love doesn't feel like this - sweetie you need a support group - it was "always me" except when it wasn't. ROFL. A'ight, I'ain fidding to fool wif ya'll no mo' bout this. LOL See? BabySis why you gotta come up in hurrh acting out? Sparking off stuff. I’ve never been inclined to do the “baby baby please don’t go” (whole nother post) but I was some kinda h-u-r-t. How ’bout “the man formerly known as my boyfriend” walked away from our relationship to be with a crackhead. If God didn’t put some mighty cold reality in my face that day, I don’t know what did. He choose a crackhead because that’s all HE thought HE deserved. Had a child with her (again, WHOLE NOTHER POST!!) then tried the “I was wrong, I love you, I need you, it was always you.” My response?

- You’re ‘wrong’ alot!
- love doesn’t feel like this
- sweetie you need a support group
- it was “always me” except when it wasn’t.

ROFL.

A’ight, I’ain fidding to fool wif ya’ll no mo’ bout this. LOL

]]> By: Shai http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-168 Shai Tue, 12 Jun 2007 19:44:33 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-168 Amen on the poetry. Hell, I got into Essence mag with one of the ton of poems I penned. I think I got tearz o one written on. smh. I cried on his wedding day last year and for what? LOL. It was ALL cleansing. I cannot wait for the Dear Adam book. I referred to your book this weekend. Geez, the words give me chills everytime I read a poem. LOL. Amen on the poetry. Hell, I got into Essence mag with one of the ton of poems I penned. I think I got tearz o one written on. smh.

I cried on his wedding day last year and for what? LOL. It was ALL cleansing.

I cannot wait for the Dear Adam book. I referred to your book this weekend. Geez, the words give me chills everytime I read a poem. LOL.

]]> By: unknowndiva http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-167 unknowndiva Tue, 12 Jun 2007 19:38:40 +0000 http://jackieyoungwrites.com/2007/06/12/shift-happens-embracing-no-part-i/#comment-167 :::me walking down the aisle::: cuz ya know i go a testimony!!! seriously, though, i found this perception the last time i opened the door for the baby daddy n he went with the hood chick instead of me. u know...the one with 3 kids, no job, livin wit her momma??? it hurt like hell but, strangely, at the same time i felt like he did me a favor because he was not nor had he ever been on my level. once my ego got over the how he gonna pick her over me, i realized that i didn't even want him. i just wanted him cuz he was with her!!! talk about spiteful & selfish!!! i know...i know...i gotz me some issues. but that's why i'm here in church!!! lol excellent post!!! :::me walking down the aisle:::

cuz ya know i go a testimony!!!

seriously, though, i found this perception the last time i opened the door for the baby daddy n he went with the hood chick instead of me. u know…the one with 3 kids, no job, livin wit her momma???

it hurt like hell but, strangely, at the same time i felt like he did me a favor because he was not nor had he ever been on my level. once my ego got over the how he gonna pick her over me, i realized that i didn’t even want him. i just wanted him cuz he was with her!!! talk about spiteful & selfish!!!

i know…i know…i gotz me some issues. but that’s why i’m here in church!!! lol

excellent post!!!

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