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![]() Who Am I? Just a woman falling madly, deeply, truly in love with life. A poet/writer having a wild affair with words. A person whose mission is to live from a place of joy, embracing all that's beautifully human about myself, and moving deeper into the EVOLUTION & the REVOLUTION of me. Still curious? Click the link....
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
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Years ago, someone broke into my townhouse. I’d gone out of town over the Easter weekend and came back to that lovely discovery. I opened the front door, looked down the hallway and noticed pieces of wood laying in the floor by the back door. I walked into the room, knowing what it meant but not really thinking. I picked up the phone and called my mother who said to me, “Call the police.” Ever the obedient child, I did just that. Dialed 911 as I walked back down the hall and realized that I probably shouldn’t BE in the house right now. One of the first things the person on the other end of the phone asked me was, “Is anyone else in the house other than you? Do you think the person(s) might still be in the house?” I was so shocked to find myself in this predicament, I never stopped to think about that.
I waited in my car while the police showed up and searched my house. Nothing of great monetary value was taken. They think it was some young kids who were looking for things they could stuff in their pockets (money, jewelry, etc) rather than be seen coming from the back of someone’s house lugging tvs, vcrs, etc. Up until that point, I’d felt so safe in my house. So…well, ‘at home’. In the days and weeks to come, I would realize that, while they didn’t steal anything from me that had monetary value, they had stolen my peace of mind, my joy. How ironic then that I am sitting here in the wee hours of the morning, realization breaking while the morning still wears its nightclothes. I’ve been robbed again. Of my peace of mind, my joy. And I have to ask myself, “Is the perp still in the house?” I don’t know if the perp is stil in the house but I can tell you that their accomplice is. I see her every time I pass by a mirror. Yes, the joy-stealers have become so adept at what they do, they have me sending them residuals on the regular. Gotta shake your head at the thought of that. Wow. Am I my own kill-joy? And how do I correct that behavior? I sit and honestly assess where I am in my life. All things told, life still looks good. Yes, a myriad of things have occurred in a short period of time, causing all kinds of collisions in my life. Perhaps it’s all this simultaneous combustion that has me working for the enemy. I mean, the blows from each new event came so swiftly on the heels of the previous event, I’m not sure I had time to catch my breath. So today I’ve decided to start a “neighborhood watch” in my own life. Monitor the comings and goings, keeping an eye out for suspicious characters. Loiterers. People, places, things, thoughts that don’t mean me any good, aren’t good to/for me, or that don’t bring me any value or joy. Or…me to them. Stop being a willing accomplice by just letting stuff happen. No, as the property owner, it’s up to me to MAKE things happen. Proactive behavior, not reactive. And so it is. Here’s to joy in unending waves. Joy that flows freely through my life like fresh air. Joy that permeates my spirit, lodging itself in my spine, my smile, my mind. Joy that overflows until it splashes onto anyone in my path. Live DELICIOUSLY!
Live JOYFULLY!
LIVE!
~ J ~
~ QUOTABLES ~ Find a place inside where there’s joy and the joy will burn out the pain. ~ Joseph Campbell Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow. ~ Helen Keller Joy is the willingness to keep moving no matter what. Joy is courage to go boldly where you are advised not to go. Joy is the freedom and ability to make conscious choices in the face of seeming disaster, by accepting and acknowledging that you are a creative being on a divine journey, and that nothing but the Divine can stop you”- Iyanla Vanzant |
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Diva (in Demand) said…
This is a fabulous post!!!! I hope you keep us updated on how your “neighborhood watch” is going and what you do to get your joy and peace of mind back.
8:08 AM, May 15, 2007
UnKnownDiva said…
“Is the perp still in the house?”
wow…i swear i had tears come to my eyes when i read that line. i know there’s a couple of perps still in my house and that damn accomplice. i SERIOUSLY need to start my own neighborhood watch program. i’m speechless. this couldn’t have come at a better time.
thanks msjayy!!!
xoxoxo
8:47 AM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
Diva - thanks Sis! It was quite a realization & I’m actively working through a lists of ways to get & keep joy. Stay tuned!
9:10 AM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
UKD - now don’t you make me cry. LOL Girl - that “is the perp still in the house?” had me in chills. It’s true in so many ways though. Sometimes we’re so on guard against other’s killing our joy, we don’t realize that many times we do it to ourselves whether it’s a form of self-defense, self-sabotage or just not realizing it. Right about now, all I can do is shake my head. Thanks Baby Sis!
9:13 AM, May 15, 2007
JustMeWriting said…
What a wonderful post…it’s such a blessing to evolve to that level on consciousness. One of the things I’ve always thanked God for was peace of mind…that ‘peace that passes all understanding. Far too often we’re the cause of our own demise and all because he failed to stop and check our immediate surroundings…to look in the mirror but, oh how scary to come to the realization that the problems you have with everyone else stems from you. What a wonderful post…I’ve seen and heard so many tales of woe from women…and I know just reading this would help so many. I know I’ve been here before, but hello again.
11:45 AM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
Hey Sis! It is indeed a blessing. A lesson that many of us repeat cause we don’t learn it completely the first or second time through. We have to learn to be the gatekeepers of what comes into our lives & that includes things that we do to ourselves that sabotage our joy. Life will always do what life does - evolve, shift, throw curves at us. If we’re rooted firmly enough in who we are, what matters most to us, nothing can steal our joy. That’s the spot I’m heading back to.
“The Neighborhood Watch Block Captain”
~J~
12:06 PM, May 15, 2007
UnKnownDiva said…
the above 3 comments are exactly why i come back sometimes ten times a day.
i mean, sis, you go deep in the posts but the comments you leave in response just keep diggin & diggin & diggin & diggin….i swear, any day now i’m a sprout me some of those roots u talking about above.
and to justmewriting wow… “peace that passes all understanding” ??? wow…. talk about seeing the big picture.
i’m soooo happy and grateful to be apart of the blog world. yall just don’t know…
xoxoxo
12:34 PM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
*sigh* It’s all about the intention you put out in the universe. Last year & this year, I declared that I would live free of some things that were holding me back - even if those things were of my own doing. I’m intent on healing whatever chasms might exist in my psyche, my spirit, my heart & I can only get there by letting Him take me deep.
Now, Little Girl, didn’t I tell you not to come ’round here making me cry? One mo’ time & I’ma tell Big Mama. ((hugs))
12:41 PM, May 15, 2007
Anonymous said…
You amaze me Jaizy.
Nicholas
12:44 PM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
Hey you. Do I? I guess so…given where I started. Whew! Thank God for grace AND mercy.
2:13 PM, May 15, 2007
CreoleInDC said…
Wow…I liked this analogy Princess and I’m glad you figured it out. I know someone who had an intruder in her home once and she feels the same way. Sometimes…for no reason…she has a panic attack thinking someone is in her home and she lives in a completely other house since the incident.
I guess it’s something that you might never really totally shake…but good to know that if anyone can…it’ll be you cuz you got a good plan in place.
MORE MORE! (Payback punkette! LOL!)
Love you!
2:30 PM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
Why, thank ya mighty kindly Ms. Thing. Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever really felt the same about my house since the break-in. It’s not fear but feeling violated. And then the little rancid a**es didn’t steal anything. There was an entertainment center by the door & I had jewelry just laying on top of it - they walked right by it. Twice.
Just trying to get to that place, “joy unspeakable”.
2:39 PM, May 15, 2007
GC (God’s Child) said…
Excellent post. I love the tie-in. and your comment about healing later on was very insightful also.
3:22 PM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
Hey Sis. Glad to know it resonated with you. The things life teaches us about ourselves…whew!
4:31 PM, May 15, 2007
Shai said…
My goodness, my poetic sis, we sure have a bunch in common. LOL. In Jan, I had intruders. By God’s grace, I am not afraid. I am aware. I know that He kept me and keeps me.
6:19 PM, May 15, 2007
MsJayy said…
Yeah, it does appear that way huh? LOL My break-in was a few years ago. But like you said, I’m not afraid - I’m aware…and that transfers to the emotional/spiritual intruders too.
6:31 PM, May 15, 2007
QueenJoya said…
Funny I should read this first thing this morning, when last night I kicked some emotional/spiritual intruders out of my life. They had been there so long I actually cried, but this morning I feel lighter and QueenJOYa actually has her JOY back!
8:24 AM, May 16, 2007
MsJayy said…
Girl,
I know the feeling! The night before I wrote this I was irritated about somethings so when this “thought” came to me, it was such a burden lifter. I walked around basically on clouds yesterday. I’m determined to hold onto that feeling.
8:36 AM, May 16, 2007
Peggy said…
Jackie,
You need higher visibility because what the Spirit shares with you He intends you to share with others in dire need. Radio? TV? Column in newspaper, magazine? Public Speaker traveling the country?
11:02 AM, May 16, 2007
UnKnownDiva said…
tell big momma i’m sorry but i agree with peggy..we gotta get u a show or suttin..
1:49 PM, May 16, 2007
princessdominique said…
I’m with Peggy. You know that already though
2:42 PM, May 16, 2007
MsJayy said…
OK, “Las Tres Divas” - Peggy, UKD, Princess…thank you so very much for your sincerity. There are things in the works. Radio? Perhaps. TV? Um…I think I’m too shy for all of that - right now. Column? WOULD LOVE IT. Public speaker? Working on it. Just need to move the “perp” out of the way. *sigh*
3:01 PM, May 16, 2007
Peggy said…
Egg all over my face! What does UKD mean? I tried to look it up but couldn’t find it. I feel so out of sync!
8:18 PM, May 16, 2007
Peggy said…
Oops! Sorry. I figured it out! Duh! Unkowndiva!!! (Thank you, Jesus!)
8:20 PM, May 16, 2007
MsJayy said…
LOL It’s ok. Your “moment” is safe with me. *wink*
8:21 PM, May 16, 2007
cyn94601 said…
Just discovered you from Single ma’s site and I so enjoyed what you wrote today. What’s amazing to me is that two months ago, my house was broken into and my computer was stolen. One of the things I do is graphic design. I had years of work on that machine and yet while I was irritated, I didn’t feel anything significant - nothing really deep.
But while reading your post, I realize that I have allowed this perp of fear and shame to live, grow and be nurtured ! I allowed myself to be prisoner in my own mind and even allowed it to limit interactions with people that love me. My fears are not of the guy that broke into my house - I guess I figured that nothing I owned was that serious. I KNOW that it was HIS blessing that I wasn’t home. But me - the perp in me - thats an entirely different story. You are so right and I gotta fix it - now!
God Bless you!
6:56 PM, May 17, 2007
Single Ma said…
MsJayy, you know I love you right? Now let me be honest. Sometimes your posts run a chill up my arms…literally. Then I want to comment but the words just won’t come.
This was one of those posts.
There’s nothing I can say that will add value to what you’ve written or do it any justice. So I won’t even try. I’ll simply leave you with this - I think I’m becoming your #1 fan. I REALLY admire your writing style. It’s like whoa!
Go ahead and put me on the preorder list for #2.
7:26 PM, May 17, 2007
MsJayy said…
Cynthia - isn’t it amazing you something you need to hear/read just happens to “stumble” into your path? Whew! I could start shouting right there. I am touched that this resonated with you. Be well!!
Single Ma - don’t be coming round here sparking tears now. Can’t balance my checkbook through my tears. :O) Sometimes I’m so surprised by what comes out, I can’t post again for a day or so. LOL And you know you got the hookup with #2.
7:38 PM, May 17, 2007