I’m coming to realize that, in my life, everything is an experience, a lesson waiting to be learned, another level of spiritual exfoliation. I stopped fighting it long ago and just give it to whatever lesson, experience or degree of exfoliation happens my way. It has never led me wrong. So, I have learned to go with it, go with the flow – to trust, believe, surrender to it. Now, having said all that, I will go on record as saying that, knowing this, I am still caught off guard sometimes at what lesson comes my way, what format it arrives in, how God uses people/places/things to speak life to me. And so it is today.

I was about to send my girl, Princess Dominique a “Help! I’m being held hostage again!” email. Ok, the first time happened the week of my release party. I was at home, just doing a bunch of nothing, enjoying my vacation. I look out the window and see all these trucks from the County – dump truck, utility trucks, “baby” ditch digger on a flatbed right outside my window. The next thing I know, they’re digging a hole in the street, right behind my parking spot. Apparently there’s an issue with the water line. So, even if I wanted or needed to leave the house at the time, I don’t think I could have gotten out of my parking space. Last week, I look out the window and guess what? Yep. They were back. Again. So, I found myself laughing as I composed the words to my paraody of Rruh Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet”…” – “Trapped in my townhouse.”

So today, I’m being “held hostage again”. I missed a floral delivery on Saturday and today’s the first day the company’s been open since then. I called this morning to see if they were going to redeliver or if I needed to swing by and pick up my surprise (And yes, I was surprised! Now you know why I didn’t call/email with a “thank you”. Didn’t get them so I don’t know who they came from. ). They say they hadn’t heard from me so the truck went out without my order. Mind you, I called as soon as I got home Saturday. Anywho, I tell the company that I have an appointment at 2pm and can’t say what time I’ll be back. They say they’ll get the order to me before 1:30pm. So…here I am once again, “Trapped in my Townhouse”. Being held hostage.

And here comes the lesson, the experience…the exfoliation. I’m minding my business right? Hop in the shower. Try my new almond body wash (love that smell) and the accompanying almond body exfoliation cream(yummy!!) laughing to myself at being “held hostage”. And just like that (insert sound effect of loud fingersnap), a note slips under my spiritual door. I am reminded that there has been a LOT of “hostage taking” going on in my life. Sure, I’m letting things loosen up but still. Look how long I held my dream of publishing hostage. Yes, I know that everything happens for a reason and things happened when they were supposed. Yet there are things behind the scene that you aren’t privy to (and I ain’t telling it here either so don’t ask. LOL) that allude to ‘hostage taking’ in this instance too.

In a larger sense, I went through a MAJOR period of my life where I held every single dream I had hostage. I’m on the other side of that “MAJOR” part though I do slip up once in a while and momentarily incarcerate a dream. But back in the day? I wouldn’t let my dreams see the light of day, didn’t feed them, wouldn’t let them “speak”. I just kept them locked away. That’s craziness. I can admit to that. And so, we enter into 2007 and I have to ask myself honestly, “Are there other dreams that you’re holding hostage, that you have on full lock-down?” Um…do I have to answer that question? Grrrr….I’m not sure I would consider them being held hostage but there are other pieces of my dream that I haven’t given my full attention to. I’d say their growth is being ‘stunted’ for the moment as I push the literary angle of the dream and try to map out how to unfold the entire empire (told ya’ll I was building an empire…I’m serious).

So, I’m exfoliating…and BEING exfoliated and in an instant, I realize that I can’t get to where I want to be, where I dream of being if I continue to hold my dreams hostage. Holding my dream hostage means that I’m stifling my gifts. Holding my dream hostage means that I’m holding my greatness hostage. And make no mistake about it, there is greatness in me…just as there is greatness in you. But we somehow go through life afraid to face up to that greatness. I’m not sure if it’s because we fear stepping out onto it and having it yanked from beneath us, being told that the life we’re living was given to us in error and must be repossessed…because we’re afraid of failing. Or is it because we’re afraid that we will succeed…and then people will hold us to that the next time around, people will really truly know what we’re capable of and come to expect that and we fear they’ll be disappointed at some point.

It comes down to choices – I can choose to step into what God has for me and truly LIVE my life…or I can choose to continue to dwell in the land of “what if?” and its neighbor “if only I had” or “shoulda, woulda, coulda”. Happiness is a choice. Joy is a choice. Success is a choice. Greatness is a choice. LIFE…really, truly living from your soul…is a choice. I believe with all my heart that each of us was meant for more – to be truly happy, to live daily from a never-ending well of joy, to be successful, to be great. I am realistic enough to know that it will require us to roll up our sleeves & get down in the trenches in order to make it happen. But it can happen. We just need to choose. Choose to free our dreams. To stop holding them captive. To stop holding our intrinsic greatness hostage.

I leave you with one of my all-time favorite quotes…another top 5…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ~ Marianne Williamson

Let it out. Let your GREATNESS shine! Dance in the light that is you. I dare ya!