STRONG ENOUGH FOR A WOMAN
Friday Sep 1 2006
LRIA + Mental Cramps + Vintage Jayy
Who Am I? Just a woman falling madly, deeply, truly in love with life. A poet/writer having a wild affair with words. A person whose mission is to live from a place of joy, embracing all that's beautifully human about myself, and moving deeper into the EVOLUTION & the REVOLUTION of me. Still curious? Click the link....
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Not feeling overly bloggish these days but…I need to rescue my blog from blog obscurity AND I told one of my girlfriends that I was going to finish at least one post that I’d started over the last couple of weeks & get it out there. Um…ok, so I’m going to do just that but just so you know, this ISN’T the entry I had intended to use. It is however, the one I NEED.
“Strong Enough for a woman, made for a man.” You remember that slogan, right? Secret deodorant?
I’ve been told that I’m a strong woman, a strong person. I don’t disagree with that assessment. BUT…I’m also a woman who KNOWS she’s a woman, who likes her softer side, who knows when to let herself be vulnerable, when to call her strength into action. Who knows that it isn’t about being right – it’s about being appreciated, needed, respected, wanted…loved. Who knows that she doesn’t have to use her strength as a weapon AND right about now…I’d give anything to not have to be that strong woman – just for a little while.
To have someone hold my hand, tell me to “Shhhh….be still….rest yourself…”
To pick up the phone, hear you say a simple hello as I dissolve into tears while you say, “I’m on my way”.
To be able to just curl up on the sofa in a hug – warm, deep, inviting – a hug that says “You’re safe. I got you.”
To hear someone say, “You can let your guard down. I’ll keep the world at bay.”
To just BE in that space with someone who gets me – really gets me – both in terms of my words…and my silence. To just BE in that space with them. Letting the silence speak to us, for us, through us. Just being comfortable.
To have that one place where no masks are needed, walls are not allowed, fears are faced head on, judgment is tossed out the window, truth flows freely like oxygen, words mean what we say they mean. That place where you know – beyond a shadow of a doubt – that your safety (emotional, physical & otherwise) is first and foremost in that person’s mind. That giving you back your smile is all they want to do in that moment.
Maybe that’s really what I want. Not to forfeit, give up, or trade my strength. But to have a SAFE HAVEN. A place to go to rejuvenate. Rest. Replenish my spirit. Refresh my mind. A place where I can be vulnerable…and still be safe. A place where my worth is recognized – regardless of what I do…or don’t do. A place where I can simply be me – as silly as I want to be, as complicated as I am, kind, funny, tired…whatever combination of me exists at that moment…and it will be all good.
I’m blessed enough to have a few strong ports in the storm. (Pausing to say “Thank You” – you know who you are – it’s all love.) But I’m holding out for that one magical, mystical “Wal-Mart” of safe havens…where I can get everything I need, whenever I need it…24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The cost? The recognition that it’s okay to give into my weakness, my vulnerability some times. That it’s okay to let my guard down. That it’s okay to want or need someone…their strength, their energy, their honesty, their quiet spirit, their laughter, their warmth. To know not only that I want it, that I need it, but also that I truly deserve it, that it’s AUTHENTIC…and freely given.
Knowing that…admitting it…reflects a lot of growth. And it takes a lot of strength….courage…and wisdom. Right now, in THIS moment, I need you. I’m strong enough to admit that….are you strong enough to be that? Cause right here, right now, in this moment, in this space - I can & I do tell you this: I AM strong enough for a woman, strong enough AS a woman…but I’m MADE for a man.
~ J~
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UnKnownDiva said…
wow…big mouth me is speechless.
may God bless you as you skillfully avoid all of the “traps” and find your safehaven.
xoxoxo
8:12 AM, September 01, 2006
MsJayy said…
Girl, you are too funny. Speechless? Why? All I can say it’s been one helluva week & finding that safe haven right about now…Peace be still! LOL
Hope all’s well in your world Sis.
8:15 AM, September 01, 2006
UnKnownDiva said…
i’m speechless because we make lists of what we want in a man, we say things like tall, dark and handsome, loves his momma, has a good job, etc. and all you want is to have someone you can feel safe with. Just so we can BE who we are when we are, how we are, etc. I think thats what we all want and no one has been able (at least not from what i’ve seen) to put it in those words. you’ll find it because its so clear for you right now. and i’m sure you’ll find it way sooner than you think. God Bless!
Yes, I’m good. I’m soooo good right now and I cant explain why. No man, no money, not happy with job, need this, & want that. But I know and can feel from somewhere deep down I’m sooooo good. So yes….peace be still.
Have a great holiday weekend!God Bless!
9:49 AM, September 01, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Sis. You will never know just how much your words touched me, especially now. I still have a list, of CORE VALUES, non-negotiables BUT…this newly evolved list includes a spot for me to detail how I can reciprocate. Clarity’s very important to me. It’s rough at times but it’s always worth it in the end. Enjoy your weekend!
10:21 AM, September 01, 2006
princessdominique said…
I am absolutely floored by this post. It touches on exactly how I feel, but then again we’re twins. We mirror each other, our likes, dislikes, simple needs. Nothing at all wrong with being strong but God knows we need a port, a safe haven because after all that’s the way He created us to be. I’m always here, truthfully and honestly. You know that.
2:24 PM, September 01, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Dom. Yeah, I got a little “naked” with this one but isn’t that what we’re supposed to do when we’re REALLY ready for love & relationships? I recognize my strength, I know how to use it - both in productive ways & nonproductive ways. I appreciate it. But even more importantly, I recognize my feminimity, my desire to feel his hand in the small of my back, his words & his presence & his silence telling me that all I need to do in that moment is simply BE. For him? For that? Yeah, I’m keeping it real…to the nth power.
2:53 PM, September 01, 2006
Shai said…
Loving this, Jackie. I am LOVING this blog post. It was like you had a conversation with my soul. Whew!
3:29 PM, September 01, 2006
MsJayy said…
LOL Thanks Shai. Just telling my truth. Some folks get it. Others need to run & hide. LOL It is what it is, right?
3:44 PM, September 01, 2006
Kayla said…
Enjoy your holiday weekend.
Girrrrrl, you PUT.IT.OUT.THERE! It shows you are definitely ready for love. Seriously. Some of us say we’re ready, but I can tell you ARE. I tell you, it’s something in the air. I’ve recently had this same conversation with a friend. I didn’t use the same words you did, but in all it was the same. I wish I could say more, but honey, you’ve said enough.
5:44 PM, September 01, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Kayla. Yeah, something DEFINITELY is in the air. Just thought I’d add a little “naked truth” to the mix. So, if you don’t know…now you know. Enjoy your weekend Girlie!
5:50 PM, September 01, 2006
Tiny said…
Msjayy,
Excellent post. Reminded me of “Ready for Love” by india.arie. Playing it right now.(LOL)
11:17 PM, September 01, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Tiny. I L-O-V-E that song. Might have to put it on myself. LOL
6:09 AM, September 02, 2006
princessdominique said…
I’ll have to check out that song too. Again, kudos on the post. It was right on time for me. But you already knew that.
8:56 PM, September 02, 2006
Soulfull said…
That’s it - SAFE HAVEN. I’ve totally been there before and your words are a perfect description of what it feels like…. This was a good one J!
9:42 AM, September 03, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Sis! It’s weighing a bit heavy on my heart/mind these days. I don’t see enough of us - WOMAN OR MEN - being that for those we love. But…I’m still searching.
10:03 AM, September 03, 2006
Nick said…
That is breathtaking. For real. Deep stuff Jaizy. It will happen - you deserve it. You need to know that. From one port to another…
8:30 PM, September 03, 2006
MsJayy said…
Nick - thanks. From your mouth to God’s ears, right? Is it really ME that needs to know it…or HIM? *Sigh* Peace.
9:46 PM, September 03, 2006
Single Ma said…
I have tried to comment on this post 3 times and keep erasing my thoughts. I finally decided that it’s so well written, my words are unnecesarry. So all I’m going to say is…
FABULOUS!!
10:07 PM, September 03, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Single Ma. Glad I could put to words what so many others are thinking/feeling/holding out for.
10:15 PM, September 03, 2006
Mizrepresent said…
We must be kindred spirits girl, we were feeling the same…you hang in there too! Glad we had a chance to connect. I’ll keep reading for more.
8:32 PM, September 10, 2006
MsJayy said…
Thanks Sis! I think I’m back on the right path. Just have to remember to stay centered as I press forward. Peace, purpose & poetry!
8:44 PM, September 10, 2006